Beyond The Black Rainbow is weird as fuck and kinda rad.

since it's Auburn's bye week and i am tired and thinking/complaining about the Tigers and their troubles i am gonna tell you about this movie i just watched Beyond The Black Rainbow, a Canadian Sci-Fi/horror movie set in a retro-futuristic 1983.

it’s loose on plot and heavy on mood & atmosphere. it tells the story of a mute teenage girl with telekinetic powers trapped in the mysterious Arboria Institute and being drugged and experimented on by this creepy creepster of doctor in a brown turtleneck who is constantly having acid flashbacks and sometimes murdering people. our teen girl hero is somehow controlled by fog machines, lava lamps, and the pyramid from Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon. the whole thing feels like an acid trip…or a really fucking long M83 video. visually the whole movie is a bizarre delight that "borrows" from THX-1138, Scanners, Argento, Kubrick, and the nightmares inside my head. also the soundtrack is fucking rad. think John Carpenter, Goblin, and Giorgio Moroder. it is all the heavy trippy spooky synth shit you can stand. it really is the star of the movie.

anyways our mute girl eventually escapes Arboria and the creepy turtleneck wearing doctor goes batshit murder crazy and goes after her and then a lot of nonsense happens and basically you have no fucking idea what is going on.... but hey this movie looks really neat so who gives a fuck?

so yeah Beyond The Black Rainbow is weird as fuck, doesn’t make a lick of sense, looks really cool, has an awesome soundtrack, and is something i totally enjoyed. if you like Kevin James movies this is probably not your thing....but if you enjoy dark oddball sci-fi movies from the 70s and early 80s or you do a lot of drugs then check it out.

Fuck Moral Victories

Another game. Another loss. A season that I am more than ready to be over with.

Auburn's defense shows up and plays its ass off only to be fucked over and over again by a completely useless offense with an inept quarterback who at this point should not be out on the field. Kiehl Frazier really is a dual threat QB. He either throws an interception or he holds on to the ball for too long and takes a stupid sack. I wish that joke was funnier than it is just sadly accurate. I don't know if I have ever seen a quarterback who looked so lost and so hopelessly overmatched than Kiehl looks every time the ball is in his hands. It is time the coaches made a change and put the freshman Wallace out there. At least the kid is a good runner. Who knows if he can pass. Who cares? Anything has to be an upgrade to whatever the hell Frazier is doing. I am fine with Quan Bray being converted back to a QB. Just do something. Anything. Fucking hell. A defensive performance like last night deserves more.

So what can you take away from last night? Well, Auburn did play with heart and gave the #2 team in the country a scare. And with the way Arkansas has completely given up on their season I would imagine Auburn has a pretty good chance of knocking off the Razorbacks in their next game. If Auburn wants to go bowling this season they are gonna have to win games against the other SEC bottom dwellers. Arkansas seems like the Tigers best chance. Vandy doesn't look so hot either. Ole Miss actually has me a little worried. Not that they have beaten anyone, but they did demolish Tulane and Auburn hasn't demolished anything other than my will to live.

The Season Without A Chance marches on. Tune in next week for more rage and sorrow.

the Death Star is rolling in to town tomorrow.

and i don't like Auburn's chances of blowing it up. as an Auburn fan have you ever been more convinced of a fucking blowout than you are Saturday? okay i guess last season vs. Bama i knew that shit was gonna be ugly. oh yeah, and the smashing the Tide gave Tuberville in his final game wasn't that big of a shocker either. but i think deep down in my bones i had some form of hope and faith...like Auburn would at least have a fighting chance because it was the Iron Bowl. but tomorrow i give them less than no chance. i honestly will be shocked if Auburn scores a touchdown. i am thinking 3 field goals is probably the best we can hope for and then just pray Frazier only turns the ball over once of twice. if Auburn can keep LSU under 30 and can manage to get about 12 to 15 points i will call it progress. but if things get out of hand in the first half i would be in favor of benching anyone important and saving them for the Arkansas game...a team i actually think Auburn WILL beat. shock me, Auburn. just once this season.

a win is a win is a win but this sure felt like another loss.

Auburn, Auburn, Auburn...you are crushing my soul this year. Even when you win I am depressed. After looking like a competent football team for most of 3 quarters you shit the bed in the 4th...started making stupid choices and started turning the ball over and the defense stopped stopping ULM. 3 games in and I don't even wanna watch this fucking team play another game all year.

At what point is it okay for me to start wanting Auburn to fire Gene Chizik? Because if we are honest with ourselves that Cam Newton is the greatest football player in the history of time and space and that anyone could've won the national title with him as their QB then we must start to be honest that Gene is a terribly meidocre football coach that does NOTHING with his supposed collection of highly rated talent. It's like Auburn has turned into FSU with it's constantly underperforming teams. And it isn't like I have any faith that is suddenly gonna change in the next few years. Yeah Auburn is young...but that was their excuse last year. Yeah Auburn switched their offensive scheme...but that was our head coach's bright idea because he wants to copy what LSU and Alabama are doing despite having 4 recruiting classes of guys that are a fit for the spread. Ughhh...I hate that I have turned into one of those maniacs who calls for the firing of his favorite team's headcoach after every game but I am just being honest. This is the guy NONE of us were happy about getting and now 4 years later I think we were right.

Someone fuel up the jet. It is time to bring Bobby Petrino to town. He can bang all the coeds/assistants/secretaries/cheerleaders he wants for all I care. God I am the worst kinda football fan.... War Eagle, you bastards. Now it is time for the real ass kickings to begin.

Is Auburn Ever Going To Win A Game Again?

never pass again.

Auburn are currently like a 16 point favorite (or something like that...i don't care enough to check) against UL Monroe. a team that JUST beat Arkansas last weekend. is it just me or is that line EXTREMELY FUCKING OPTIMISTIC?!

ULM's QB Kolton Browning (what is with all the stupid K names? parents of children that were born in the 90s are the fucking worst.) torched Arkansas for 412 yards and 3 touchdowns. what have you seen in the last 2 games that makes you think Auburn is going to do anything to stop that from happening to the Tigers shitastic secondary? unless the defensive line suddenly becomes possessed by the spirits of Quentin Groves or Nick Fairley i don't imagine Browning will have much trouble getting near those stats again. so let's just go ahead and assume the Warhawks are gonna drop at least 21 points on Auburn....how are the Tigers planning on matching that? we've scored all of 1 touchdown this season and that was nearly a lifetime ago in the devolution of Kiehl Frazier: Turnover Machine. a Quarterback with 1 more touchdown pass in his two years at Auburn than i do. so passing for scores isn't gonna be anything i would put money on. so how are the Tigers going to get points? one assumes that Auburn will do whatever they can to just run it down ULM's throat and since they're a Sun Belt team one also assumes that Auburn will have an advantage of size on the lines...but whenever the rushing attack has been working we've been treated to either a dumb penalty or the sudden need to let Frazier attempt forward passes. if i was the coaching staff i am not attempting a single pass that isn't some short screen unless the runningbacks and defense have gained AT LEAST a 3 score lead. just run run run run run run run run like it's 1982 and everyone's still running the wishbone. honestly if Auburn would like to just sit Frazier over on the sidelines and run the wildcat every single play i wouldn't fault them. seriously, no passing. if the Tigers employ this primitive strategy they might just win an actual football game. maybe.

i miss the days when cursing at Brandon Cox and face palming everytime he took a sack were my biggest issues as an Auburn fan.

A Lifetime Of Defeats Returns Not To Praise The Auburn Tigers, But To Bury Them

Hello old friends, foes, loyal readers, and people who accidentally stumbled on to this long vacant piece of blogspot real estate. i have decided to bring this useless site back because whining on twitter just isn't the same. it takes a lot more than 140 characters for me to say Auburn Sucks And They Are Ruining My Fucking Life.

 Following Auburn's 2010 BCS title season I felt like I had finally made peace with my long suffering Auburn Tigers fandom. Going into 2011 I knew it was going to be a tough season and there just wasn't anyway I had much to say or complain about while still basking in the afterglow of Cam Newton, Nick Fairley, and those 2010 Tigers. But it's been a long time since then in the world of college football and my rage and despair have returned to me with a vengeance.

 2 weeks into the Auburn Tigers 2012 campaign and there aren't words to describe how I feel about this team....well maybe a few words... Unbelievably Shitty, Fucking Awful, Useless Motherfuckers, Worst Auburn Team Of My Motherfucking Lifetime. Those are some that come to mind. Sitting through 2 weeks of truly embarrassing performances by this version of Auburn is really more than my 34 year old heart can take. This bullshit ages me. How my father hasn't died rooting for this fucking team is beyond me. Even when they win a title there's no real fun to be had. Fuck it. What else am I gonna do with my life...watch soccer? Fuck that commie shit.

Anyways I've completely lost the point....oh yeah this year Auburn is going to suck in a way that I don't think I would've let myself imagine they could suck. I mean is Auburn on double secret probation? Cuz they seem like a team on probation. They sure as shit don't look like a team that's had 3 top 10 recruiting classes in a row. I understand that they are young...but I didn't realize they were also inept. I hope Gene Chizik sends Cam Newton a gift every single weekend to thank him for the job security that the Chiz currently enjoys...because without that handsome magical mountain of a QB's magical season Gene Chizik's seat would be on motherfucking fire right now. He and his staff might be able to recruit but they sure as shit can't coach. The linebackers can't tackle. The defensive backs can't cover. The linemen can't hold on to the other teams QB. And the offense is looking really fucking similiar to that shitty 2008 one that got Tommy Tuberville's big eared ass run out of town. BCS title or not, if this doesn't turn around quickly then ole' Chiz might start looking for some defensive coordinator work in his future. So why do we suck so bad? The lack of depth and the quality of Tuberville's pisspoor recruiting classes can't be blamed for the bullshit product we see out on the field. These are all Chizik's boys. I guess Gene has kicked one too many weed smoking 5 stars off the team than he should have. Maybe it was a terrible idea to run your offensive coordinator out of town so that you could get a boring pro style play caller in to town to NOT take advantage of all the spread ready talent you've been recruiting for 4 fucking years. No wonder our quarterback looks completely fucking lost on the field every time he touches the ball. Or maybe he just sucks. I am starting to think that may be the case. Cuz he sure as shit didn't look like he knew what the hell he was doing last season when he attempted a pass. He looks even less so this season without the benefit of sitting the bench behind that two headed beast of mediocrity that was Barrett Trotter and Clint Moseley. Speaking of Moseley, why not put him in the game? Is his shoulder that trashed? I guess Zeke Pike's dumbass should've been given another chance before the Chizik sent him packing. That moral high ground seems real nice until your only options are a deadarmed loser, a sophomore who looks like a fish out of water, and a true freshman who noone was recruiting. I feel bad for Blake and Lutz that their final years on the Plains that their draft stock is going to take huge hits because they don't have anyone to throw them the damn ball. For future reference to any Auburn coaches....DO NOT RECRUIT QUARTERBACKS FROM THE STATE OF ARKANSAS WHO HAVE STUPID FUCKED SPELLINGS OF THEIR FIRST NAMES. Those guys are coach killers.

the head attached to this shirt is full of hate and rage.

 So what do we have to take away from these losses to teams we should NEVER lose to. Well the main thought I have is this is going to be a really long season. Like 4 or 5 wins long. Anyone who thinks Auburn is gonna magically turn it around when LSU and Arkansas are about to crush the Tigers in the next few months is higher than Michael Dyer. Auburn doesn't look like a team that can give Vandy or Ole Miss much of a game. Another thought is that the really great recruiting class we have right now is all nice and everything but the Tigers top priority should be to go out and find a QB who has started for another Division 1A team that can come in and start for Auburn next season cuz we obviously have noone capable of running a pro style offense or any kind of offense on campus. And fianlly I am gonna be doing some major liver damage to myself this year because I am going to need to be shitfaced every single week to get through a year like the one we are looking at. Either that or I could just free up my Saturdays and do things like spend time with my lady or visit my parents or go see some movies. But who the fuck wants to do that when there is football to be watched? The suffering is back friends. Did it ever really end? War Damn Eagle.

My Favorite Records of 2011

2011 was a lot like 2010 for me in that i didn’t really seek out a lot of new music and was more excited about albums i already own getting deluxe reissues than anything current. call it a product of aging. call it a product of laziness. call it being overwhelmed by just how easy it is to find and hear new music and doing to my best to just avoid shit. so i don’t consider this list to be the Best Records of the Year. but these were my personal favorite Albums Of 2011.

Davila 666- Tan Bajo

maybe i should’ve paid more attention in Spanish class in 10th grade cuz then i might know what the fuck these Puerto Rican garage rockers were singing about. regardless of language barriers this was easily one of my favorite albums of this or any year. Menudo On Drugs (as they call themselves) making a caterwaul of glorious rock n roll noise channeling The Stooges Fun House by way of Guided By Voices being sung by your wasted punk rock friends from high school. Rock N Roll is alive and well, it just doesn’t speak English anymore.

Turf War- Years Of Living Dangerously

it’s hard for me not to be hyperbolic when i talk about how much i love this fucking record. the story of 1000 nights of bad choices and worse luck fueled by booze and self destruction. every song sounds like an anthem for the lovable losers.

The Horrors- Skying

England’s funniest haricuts drop their My Bloody Valentine obsession and replace it with a fuckton of Psychedelic Furs and Echo and The Bunnymen producing the best album to sit in your room and space out to in 2011.

Minks- By The Hedge

kids influenced by C86 and Head On The Door era Cure (and probably a little Belle & Sebastian too) make gothy dreampop twee masterpiece. let’s wear all black every single day and hate the world together forever.

Ty Segall- Goodbye Bread & Ty Rex

the current king of fuzz pop mellows out and dropped his best fucking record yet on our asses and just for kicks he did an EP of T.Rex covers too.

M83- Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

as a general rule i am not a fan of double albums. it’s probably because i’ve always believed less is more and also i’ve never really listened to any double album that i didn’t think could’ve been a better record minus about 5 songs and i feel the same way about this record. i also don’t think it’s nearly a good as Saturdays = Youth but M83 still does a better job than anyone of combining my love of Shoegaze and New Wave and turning it into a fake soundtrack for a French adaptation of a John Hughes movie.

The Icarus Line- Wildlife

i’m stuck inside of Los Angeles With The Punk Rock Blues Again.

Black Lips- Arabia Mountain

they might be one of the biggest indie rock bands around but they’ll always just be the kids who i booked at the 40 Watt that got banned for trying to burn their drum set on stage. this year they hooked up with Mark Ronson and took their sloppy garage punk sound and turned it into slick polished pop. a dance party for the end of the world. plus a song about Spiderman being molested as a little kid ends up being one of the best jams of the year. weird. disturbing. awesome.

Grape Soda- Form A Sign
The best band in Athens, GA make the most danceable party album of the year with nothing but spaced out organ and drums. Heavily energetic dub influenced indie pop. Joyous. Catchy. Fun.

Jacuzzi Boys- Glazin’

another solid album by one of the best power pop bands around. Plus they inspired some teenage girls to make the greatest NSFW music video in the history of the universe. Singing vaginas and it isn't even dirty.

Smith Westerns- Dye It Blonde

Chicago brats making pure glam pop. this album is the sound of my nuggets boxed set getting in a fight with my Smiths records. The songs Dance Away and All Die Young were two of the my songs of the year.

Kurt Vile- Smoke Ring For My Halo

every year needs some good sad bastard music. Kurt makes the saddest and it isn't in some weakass Bon Iver bullshit wa.

There were other notable artists who had a good song or two like Crystal Stilts reverbed out "through the floor" or Peaking Lights total fucking jam "All The Sun That Shines". Some other good music by Dead Ghosts, Woven Bones, Real Estate, Wild Nothing, Jeff The Brotherhood, Total Babes, Surf City, and Nobunny is worth checking out. If you have a Spotify then I recommend giving all these a listen. If you love rock n roll then there is still cool shit out there worth finding. Hell even the Black Keys, a band I think makes boring dad rock, put out an album that ain't half bad this year.


goodbye 2011. since the world is gonna end next year lets hope their are some fucking awesome albums in 2012.

thoughts on the 2011 season

So a year after the most amazing season in Auburn history we get one of the most blah seasons in Auburn history. Every rational Auburn fan knew that 2011 was a rebuilding year and that if this team was able to win 7 games then it was an accomplishment...and so I guess if that was the only goal then mission accomplished. But jesus christ those were 7 of the most ugly fucking wins I have had the displeasure of witnessing. I was at the season opener and watched Auburn get dominated by a pretty lousy Utah State team all damn game until they pulled a rabit out of their ass and made a miracle of a comeback for a win. And things never really got any easier after that. It took everything the Tigers could give to knockoff a Mississippi State team they was well underperforming all year. Auburn's most impressive wins were against a South Carolina team who I still can't figure out how they won 9 games, an Ole Miss team that couldn't beat anyone in the SEC, and the worst Florida team in at least 25 years. Hell it was a struggle for Auburn to beat their fucking FBS home coming cupcake. And every game Auburn lost was an epic blowout, none more sickening than vs Georgia. This would all be easier to stomach if I felt like Auburn was showing any signs of being a good football team next season, but let's be real...this group of players isn't inspiring a lot of hope for 2012.

First off Auburn's QB play was easily the worst of my lifetime. Between Clint Moseley and Barrett Trotter you have a tossup for worst Auburn QB of all time. And the super hyped true freshmen Kiehl Frazier was little more than a wildcat QB who the staff never trusted enough to let him actually play quarterback despite the horrible play of the guys ahead of him. One would assume that neither Trotter nor Moseley will be the QB next year and that Frazier and incoming freshmen Zeke Pike will battle it out for the job...but that just makes me all the more frustrated that Auburn never just went with Frazier when it became painfully obvious just how fucking terrible the other guys were. I mean noone wants to endure a losing season after winning a national title, but if I was watching Frazier develop every single week as the starter I might have a lot more hope about next season. Sadly I don't.

The other HUGE ASS PROBLEM is the defense. What was the strength of the Tuberville era has been the worst thing about the Chizik era. Ted Roof has got to fucking go as well as those guys coaching the DBs and linebackers. Auburn has been just horrible at stopping the pass for 3 years now and I have no reason to believe Roof is gonna figure it out despite the talent that has been recruited at safety and corner the last few classes. Fire him now.

The poor offensive line play is something that I am willing to let slide only because of the amount of young guys that all came with 4 and 5 stars attached to their names who were redshirted. One assumes the o line will be better next season even if it is young...it just has to be.

Other than Lutz and Blake every damn WR on the team was just taking up space. Trevon Reed battled injuries most of the year, but even when healthy I saw nothing that made me believe he was anything but another overrated prospect. With the amount talent that is coming in next season at RB I think the smartest offseason move Auburn could make is converting Mccalleb into a slot receiver. He is Auburn's best playmaker in open space and was far more effective this season catching the ball than he was as a runner out of the backfield.

With another solid recruiting class coming in and with some likely changes coming on defense we can only hope that 2011 really was a rebuilding season and not just a glimpse at more of the same shit to come next season. Obviously winning a national championship buys Chizik a lot of time to figure things out...but then again this is the SEC and along time isn't gonna be that long.

Hunker Down, Larry

There are a thousand and one reasons I hate the Georgia Bulldogs, but none of them were Larry Munson. Rest In Piece.

drunk blogging while Auburn gets their ass beat by UGA

If I hate anything more in life than losing to fucking Georgia I don't know what that is. This game (and every game we have played against a team with a real live offense) has been a fucking disaster. Winning that BCS title last year is the only reason I don't throw myself in front of a train.

Remember when we had an awesome QB? Remember when we used to play good defense under Tommy Tuberville? Remeber when we used to own Alabama and Georgia? Remember when I used to write on this blog? Remember when I had actual readers?

Fuck it. I'm done. 2011 has been a totally lame season. Not as bad as it could have been. At least we beat Florida, South Carolina, and Miss State. But goddamn...watching these useless fools playing QB has been about as much fun as sitting through a Lars Von Trier movie.

I'm out. See you never.

my favorite album of 2011

the city of Atlanta has been killing it for a few years now with some of the best rock n roll around...but Turf War might just be the best goddamn band yet. always a great live band for a couple of years now they'd now releases an album that does it's best to capture what makes these Southern boys so fucking good.

their debut, Years Of Living Dangerously, is the kinda record that hits you in your gut. it's gotta that energy that only a lovable loser whose been beat down by years of bad choices and worse luck can produce. it's the story of 1000 late night benders and 1000 blurry eyed hangovers all crashing together in an ode to having a good time and having no regrets...even if we all die too young. it's what a good rock record should sound like: a little bit sad, a little bit angry, and with enough hooks & catchy choruses to make Tom Petty proud.


get it here get it now.

video for the first single, "Cheers to the Years"

Energy Vampires are truly bummed out right now.

i guess i don't have to worry about burning my Cam Newtown jersey or throwing away all my BCS title swag i got at the Spring game.

we got away with it, motherfuckers.

War Damn Eagle.

it's halloween season. listen to the misfits.

all my teams suck again, as i remember them

That didn't take very long. Last year I got spoiled by a national title winning Auburn team and a Falcons squad that had the NFC's best record and the Braves were back in the playoffs with an exciting group of young players. 1 year later I have a young Auburn team that is gonna be lucky to win 7 games, a Falcons squad that looks fucking terrible and has me wanting them to blow up the franchise and start all over again, & the Braves collapse makes me wanna give up baseball for good.

Auburn I at least still believe in...well not this year's team, but I believe in them going forward...assuming Frazier actually figures out how to throw a football. (Please don't let him be Kodi Burns all over again.) Maybe QBs from Arkansas that spell their first names retardedly just aren't the way to go.

The Falcons I don't believe in AT ALL. This is season 4 of the Matt Ryan/Mike Smith era and this year's version of the Dirty Birds looks like the worst of the bunch. Turner is old. The offensive line is banged up and ineffective. Roddy White is dropping passes. Julio Jones was not worth all those goddamn draft picks. The defense is just fucking awful. And worst of all, Matt Ryan is exactly the QB I thought he was before Atlanta drafted him...aka average. You are not winning a Super Bowl with a guy who is just average. It is not happening. Not anymore. The days of Trent Dilfer being a championship QB are over. If you don't have one of the top 10 qbs in the league then you are fucked. Matt Ryan might not even be top 20 if you are being honest. Hell he would be the last QB I would draft out of his own division. Brees and Freedman are already better than Matty Ice and Cam Newton is the fucking future of the NFC South. Matt Ryan is Steve DeBerg. Why didn't they just suck one more year and then draft Matt Stafford?

The Braves are...ugghh who fucking cares? I hate baseball.

the Top 25 is so bad that i still have Auburn ranked.

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS POINTLESS TOP 25

1A. LSU
1B. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Stanford
5. Wisconsin
6. Clemson
7. Boise State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Arkansas
10. Oregon
11. Georgia Tech
12. Michigan
13. Kansas State
14. Illinois
15. West Virginia
16. Nebraska
17. South Carolina
18. Houston
19. Arizona State
20. Baylor
21. Auburn
22. Michigan State
23. UGA
24. Virginia Tech
25. Texas

wow, that was fucking terrible

So Auburn gets their asses kicked by Arkansas in a game that proved we in fact have noone who can play quarterback at the moment and that our defense shutting down South Carolina last week was more about the Man, The Myth, The Legend; Stephen Garcia than anything Auburn actually did well. And so Auburn again looks like a team on course to win 6 or 7 games at best and not someone who will end the season ranked. At this point I don't need to see Barrett Trotter take another goddamn snap for the Tigers. He is about the worst damn QB I care to lay eyes on in the orange and blue. Frazier may have looked just as terrible with two of the ugliest damn interceptions you will ever see a qb throw but id take a freshman learning over some scrub of an upper classmen whose got zero upside and looks completely lost whenever he drops back to throw. Not that Trotter is 100% to blame...how many fucking drops did Auburn have in the game? It seemed like 20. The ball just hit guys right in the hands and then hit the turf. It was a sickening display. It reminded me of the olden days when Auburn couldn't ever find a good wr target. Why the hell did Darvin Adam's ass go pro? If Auburn had a threesome of Adams, Blake, and Reed they'd be fine this year...I like to imagine anyways. Uggh...whatever, fuck it. It was an ugly loss. Auburn got run off the field and shut completely down and by the 4th quarter it was all but over. Hopefully the lousy lookin' Gators will be a win that our Tigers can get next week, at home. But I'm not counting on it. War Damn Whatever.

is there any point ranking anyone outside the top 5?

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS POINTLESS TOP 25

1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Clemson
6. Stanford
7. Boise State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Oregon
10. Georgia Tech
11. Arkansas
12. West Virginia
13. Kansas State
14. Michigan
15. Texas
16. Auburn
17. South Carolina
18. Florida
19. Illinois
20. Nebraska
21. Houston
22. Arizona State
23. Virginia Tech
24. Baylor
25. Texas Tech

all my favorite teams suck at everything

Braves complete the most epic fail in baseball history (other than those far more overcovered assholes in Boston). I'm swearing off baseball for good.

The Falcons let a mediocre Seahawks team comeback on them and nearly choke.

Auburn remains the most frustrating team in the country but somehow beats an even more clueless South Carolina squad.

Sports are supposed to entertain...but these 3 teams just make me wanna shoot my face off.

fucking Braves

fire Fredi. throw Lowe in the trash. burn down Atlanta again.

at least the fucking Red Sox lost...that way we will never ever hear about the Braves choking ever again.

being a Falcons fan is never a thing of joy

So the Falcons were able to somehow steal a win from an Eagles team that is obviously better than them by knocking Mike Vick the fuck out. It's a cheap way to win a game but I'll take it.

But honestly I have no faith in this Falcons squad. The defense sucks. The offensive line can't block. Matt Ryan looks like he's regressing. And Mike Turner looks slow and old. The playcalling is some of the most vanilla ass predictable bullshit in the enitre NFL....especially among teams who are supposedly contenders. And with Tampa being a young and talented team on the rise and Carolina having that Newton fella throwing for 400 yards everygame...well I don't know if I believe that Atlanta is going to be owning the NFC South anytime soon. To me Atlanta is going to struggle to get a playoff spot. The Saints look much better in their first two games than the Falcons did. I see 9-7 or 8-8 as a very real possibility. Hell if they went 6-10 I wouldn't even be that shocked. This team just doesn't seem nearly as talented as a year ago. Sure I know I am the most whiny pessimistic fan a team could ever have, but goddamnit....being a Falcons fan just fucking sucks most of the time. This is the golden age of the franchise and I can't ever see a Super Bowl with the current group of players. No fucking way they could get past The Packers. Hell I don't like their chances with an Eagles rematch either...no matter who Philly has behind center. Young, Kafka, Vick...it doesn't matter, it's McCoy, Maclin, and Jackson that make that machine run. Right now i'd have to put Atlanta behind Green Bay, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Chicago, Dallas, and Detroit as far as talent in the NFC. Yeah Detroit. Who is gonna stop Suh from murdering Ryan? Who can cover Calvin Johnson in the Falcons secondary? Shit I'm not even sure Tampa Bay isn't the 2nd best team in Atlanta's own division. Ughhh. Fuck it. One day I will finally stop caring about this stupid team.