Who's Next?

so Tuberville's coaching corpse isn't even cold and Auburn is already searching for their next man. reports are already out that the Tigers have contacted both Mike Leach and scumbag/mercenary/offensive genius Bobby Petrino. Leach would be interesting. Petrino would make me burn all my Auburn gear and start rooting for Georgia Tech.

the early candidates:

Mike Leach- current head coach of Texas Tech.

pros- is an offensive genius who has turned a relatively mediocre football program into one of the more entertaining offensive juggernauts in college football. he lights up score boards and is a pretty interesting guy. he also may very well be bat shit crazy.

cons- The Red Raiders have never won the Big 12, they've never played in a BCS bowl and they regularly win 8 or 9 games in a normally weaker conference than the SEC. he'd be taking over an extremely conservative Auburn program that is used to playing good solid defense and running the football. the culture shock of seeing Auburn QBs flinging the rock 50 times a game might cause some of the fans' brains to implode.

what i think- honestly if Leach became the coach i'd be fine with it. he's not my top candidate and i don't think Auburn would become a national title winning power house, but jesus christ they'd be a hell of a lot more entertaining to watch on the field dropping 60 points on people even if they never did win an SEC title. but patience seems to be at an all time low on the Plains and i'd assume Leach would get about 5 years to be the coach and during his tenure Auburn might win 10 game once and regularly be in the 8 or 9 win category with no SEC titles to speak of and then they'd shuffle him out the door looking for the next big thing.

Bobby Petrino- current head coach of Arkansas, former head coach of Louisville and The Atlanta Falcons, once upon a time was Auburn's offensive coordinator.

pros- is an offensive mastermind who likes to run and throw the ball. can turn out NFL ready QBs and can score some fucking points. has won a Big East title and an Orange Bowl. is familiar with the SEC (duh).

cons- scumfuck douchebag mercenary motherfucking bastard. as an Auburn and an Atlanta Falcons fan it would make me both sad and an angry is Petrino became Auburn's next head coach, plus it would be like rubbing Tuberville's face in shit and the guy deserves better than this. plus Petrino would just ditch Auburn for the next better job that came along in a heartbeat.

Will Muschamp- defensive coordinator of Texas...formerly of Auburn.

pros- he's young and firey and dynamic and passionate and he has a connection to Auburn and the fans love him and he headbutts his players and he's fucking awesome.

cons- he may very well be insane. he's never been a head coach.

Jimbo Fisher- FSU's offensive coordinator

pros- uhhhh....he was successful at LSU and i guess he's got FSU going in the right direction, or at least that's what i've been told.

cons- this doesn't inspire or excite me at all.

some other names being thrown around are Gary Patterson of TCU (who is pretty much the same kind of coach as Tuberville), Derek Dooley of Louisiana Tech (and son of former Georgia coach and Auburn grad, Vince Dooley), whoever the fuck the coach of Tulsa is, Paul Johnson of Georgia Tech (so unlikely that it is laughable), and Florida's defensive coordinator Charlie Strong (would be Auburn's first ever black head coach if it happened).

the #1 guy on my Auburn wish list would be Butch Davis of North Carolina. he's a proven winner at Miami and he can turn a program around quickly as he's proven by what he's been able to do at North Carolina. plus he's as good a recruiter as Nick Saban and right now more than anything that's what Auburn needs. PAY HIM WHATEVER HE WANTS and make this happen Auburn.

some other guys that would make me happy if Auburn took the time and gave them a ring would be Brian Kelly of Cincinnati and Turner Gill of Buffalo.

regardless of who Auburn hires it needs to happen sooner rather than later, because whatever kind of recruiting class that can be salvaged after this season is gonna be weaker and weaker every day we go without a coach and with the talent that's returning next season, Auburn is gonna need all the help they can get to avoid having the type of season Michigan had this year.