A Fatwa On The Heads Of Jacobs and Lowder

an artist's depiction of the mindset of an Auburn blogger before he blew himself to pieces in an act of protest.

really i blame this all on my father. he's the one who made me an Auburn fan as a young boy growing up in Fort Payne, Alabama. i could've easily been a Crimson Tide fan like everyone else. but no, the old man had to make me a Tiger. always the underdog. or maybe when we moved to Georgia i could've become a Georgia Bulldogs fan...but nope, once a Tiger then you are a Tiger for life. 30 years of rooting for Auburn has done one thing to me though, it's made me get used to disappointments. even as high as the highs ever get, the lows always seem to be so much lower.

i miss Bo Jackson. i miss Pat Dye. i miss Stan White. i miss Nix to Sanders. i miss Rudi. i miss Cadillac and Ronnie Brown. i miss Al Borges. i miss Tuberville. oh god, i'm already turning into one of those assholes who only can get enjoyment out his favorite teams bygone glories. someone shoot me in the face now before i got out and buy a Pat Sullivan throwback jersey.

hey, what do Nebraska, Notre Dame, Syracuse, Washington, Colorado, and Auburn all have in common? they used to be football power houses that are now irrelevant on a national scale thanks to bad hires and poor performance on the field. congratulations Jay Jacobs. Auburn is now officially the 5th best team in the SEC West.

i am going to get so fucking drunk tonight that hopefully i'll have killed so many braincells that i'll forget how much i care about Auburn football. when i wake up and i'll be able to move on with my life without ever worrying about silly shit like national titles and respect and winning football games.

woe to those who are at ease on the Plains, mediocrity reigns supreme.