Suicide Watch (2009), Week 4...let's just kick these guys asses and go get some tacos

Dear Ball State,

you are DOOMED!!!

love,

Death

it's my first Auburn game of the year so i'm excited at the prospect of Watching Spread Eagle 2: Electric Boogaloo score about 70 points on a scrub ass MAC team who completely fell off the map once their coach and QB left.

The One Armed Zombie and the backfield of Thunderbolt and Lightfoot should all have big games. i'm also looking for Darvin "I Am A Auburn Receiver Who Can Actually Catch" Adams and Super Mario Fannin to get their stats in this one too. anything less than of 35 point victory is gonna be a disappointment.

chances of tragedy: 1 1/5. Ball State is a bottomfeeding MAC team this year after their best season in school history. i see bad bad things for them this year, and this isn't gonna be a happy feel good story on Saturday night.

method of suicide: if Auburn fucking lost this game then the fanbase might storm the field and rip the coaching staff to pieces.