A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS

My Favorite Records of 2011

2011-12-17T02:41:00.000-08:00

2011 was a lot like 2010 for me in that i didn’t really seek out a lot of new music and was more excited about albums i already own getting deluxe reissues than anything current. call it a product of aging. call it a product of laziness. call it being overwhelmed by just how easy it is to find and hear new music and doing to my best to just avoid shit. so i don’t consider this list to be the Best Records of the Year. but these were my personal favorite Albums Of 2011.

Davila 666- Tan Bajo

maybe i should’ve paid more attention in Spanish class in 10th grade cuz then i might know what the fuck these Puerto Rican garage rockers were singing about. regardless of language barriers this was easily one of my favorite albums of this or any year. Menudo On Drugs (as they call themselves) making a caterwaul of glorious rock n roll noise channeling The Stooges Fun House by way of Guided By Voices being sung by your wasted punk rock friends from high school. Rock N Roll is alive and well, it just doesn’t speak English anymore.

Turf War- Years Of Living Dangerously

it’s hard for me not to be hyperbolic when i talk about how much i love this fucking record. the story of 1000 nights of bad choices and worse luck fueled by booze and self destruction. every song sounds like an anthem for the lovable losers.

The Horrors- Skying

England’s funniest haricuts drop their My Bloody Valentine obsession and replace it with a fuckton of Psychedelic Furs and Echo and The Bunnymen producing the best album to sit in your room and space out to in 2011.

Minks- By The Hedge

kids influenced by C86 and Head On The Door era Cure (and probably a little Belle & Sebastian too) make gothy dreampop twee masterpiece. let’s wear all black every single day and hate the world together forever.

Ty Segall- Goodbye Bread & Ty Rex

the current king of fuzz pop mellows out and dropped his best fucking record yet on our asses and just for kicks he did an EP of T.Rex covers too.

M83- Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

as a general rule i am not a fan of double albums. it’s probably because i’ve always believed less is more and also i’ve never really listened to any double album that i didn’t think could’ve been a better record minus about 5 songs and i feel the same way about this record. i also don’t think it’s nearly a good as Saturdays = Youth but M83 still does a better job than anyone of combining my love of Shoegaze and New Wave and turning it into a fake soundtrack for a French adaptation of a John Hughes movie.

The Icarus Line- Wildlife

i’m stuck inside of Los Angeles With The Punk Rock Blues Again.

Black Lips- Arabia Mountain

they might be one of the biggest indie rock bands around but they’ll always just be the kids who i booked at the 40 Watt that got banned for trying to burn their drum set on stage. this year they hooked up with Mark Ronson and took their sloppy garage punk sound and turned it into slick polished pop. a dance party for the end of the world. plus a song about Spiderman being molested as a little kid ends up being one of the best jams of the year. weird. disturbing. awesome.

Grape Soda- Form A Sign
The best band in Athens, GA make the most danceable party album of the year with nothing but spaced out organ and drums. Heavily energetic dub influenced indie pop. Joyous. Catchy. Fun.

Jacuzzi Boys- Glazin’

another solid album by one of the best power pop bands around. Plus they inspired some teenage girls to make the greatest NSFW music video in the history of the universe. Singing vaginas and it isn't even dirty.

Smith Westerns- Dye It Blonde

Chicago brats making pure glam pop. this album is the sound of my nuggets boxed set getting in a fight with my Smiths records. The songs Dance Away and All Die Young were two of the my songs of the year.

Kurt Vile- Smoke Ring For My Halo

every year needs some good sad bastard music. Kurt makes the saddest and it isn't in some weakass Bon Iver bullshit wa.

There were other notable artists who had a good song or two like Crystal Stilts reverbed out "through the floor" or Peaking Lights total fucking jam "All The Sun That Shines". Some other good music by Dead Ghosts, Woven Bones, Real Estate, Wild Nothing, Jeff The Brotherhood, Total Babes, Surf City, and Nobunny is worth checking out. If you have a Spotify then I recommend giving all these a listen. If you love rock n roll then there is still cool shit out there worth finding. Hell even the Black Keys, a band I think makes boring dad rock, put out an album that ain't half bad this year.

goodbye 2011. since the world is gonna end next year lets hope their are some fucking awesome albums in 2012.

thoughts on the 2011 season

2011-11-28T22:43:00.000-08:00

So a year after the most amazing season in Auburn history we get one of the most blah seasons in Auburn history. Every rational Auburn fan knew that 2011 was a rebuilding year and that if this team was able to win 7 games then it was an accomplishment...and so I guess if that was the only goal then mission accomplished. But jesus christ those were 7 of the most ugly fucking wins I have had the displeasure of witnessing. I was at the season opener and watched Auburn get dominated by a pretty lousy Utah State team all damn game until they pulled a rabit out of their ass and made a miracle of a comeback for a win. And things never really got any easier after that. It took everything the Tigers could give to knockoff a Mississippi State team they was well underperforming all year. Auburn's most impressive wins were against a South Carolina team who I still can't figure out how they won 9 games, an Ole Miss team that couldn't beat anyone in the SEC, and the worst Florida team in at least 25 years. Hell it was a struggle for Auburn to beat their fucking FBS home coming cupcake. And every game Auburn lost was an epic blowout, none more sickening than vs Georgia. This would all be easier to stomach if I felt like Auburn was showing any signs of being a good football team next season, but let's be real...this group of players isn't inspiring a lot of hope for 2012.

First off Auburn's QB play was easily the worst of my lifetime. Between Clint Moseley and Barrett Trotter you have a tossup for worst Auburn QB of all time. And the super hyped true freshmen Kiehl Frazier was little more than a wildcat QB who the staff never trusted enough to let him actually play quarterback despite the horrible play of the guys ahead of him. One would assume that neither Trotter nor Moseley will be the QB next year and that Frazier and incoming freshmen Zeke Pike will battle it out for the job...but that just makes me all the more frustrated that Auburn never just went with Frazier when it became painfully obvious just how fucking terrible the other guys were. I mean noone wants to endure a losing season after winning a national title, but if I was watching Frazier develop every single week as the starter I might have a lot more hope about next season. Sadly I don't.

The other HUGE ASS PROBLEM is the defense. What was the strength of the Tuberville era has been the worst thing about the Chizik era. Ted Roof has got to fucking go as well as those guys coaching the DBs and linebackers. Auburn has been just horrible at stopping the pass for 3 years now and I have no reason to believe Roof is gonna figure it out despite the talent that has been recruited at safety and corner the last few classes. Fire him now.

The poor offensive line play is something that I am willing to let slide only because of the amount of young guys that all came with 4 and 5 stars attached to their names who were redshirted. One assumes the o line will be better next season even if it is young...it just has to be.

Other than Lutz and Blake every damn WR on the team was just taking up space. Trevon Reed battled injuries most of the year, but even when healthy I saw nothing that made me believe he was anything but another overrated prospect. With the amount talent that is coming in next season at RB I think the smartest offseason move Auburn could make is converting Mccalleb into a slot receiver. He is Auburn's best playmaker in open space and was far more effective this season catching the ball than he was as a runner out of the backfield.

With another solid recruiting class coming in and with some likely changes coming on defense we can only hope that 2011 really was a rebuilding season and not just a glimpse at more of the same shit to come next season. Obviously winning a national championship buys Chizik a lot of time to figure things out...but then again this is the SEC and along time isn't gonna be that long.

Hunker Down, Larry

2011-11-21T03:47:00.000-08:00

There are a thousand and one reasons I hate the Georgia Bulldogs, but none of them were Larry Munson. Rest In Piece.

drunk blogging while Auburn gets their ass beat by UGA

2011-11-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

If I hate anything more in life than losing to fucking Georgia I don't know what that is. This game (and every game we have played against a team with a real live offense) has been a fucking disaster. Winning that BCS title last year is the only reason I don't throw myself in front of a train.

Remember when we had an awesome QB? Remember when we used to play good defense under Tommy Tuberville? Remeber when we used to own Alabama and Georgia? Remember when I used to write on this blog? Remember when I had actual readers?

Fuck it. I'm done. 2011 has been a totally lame season. Not as bad as it could have been. At least we beat Florida, South Carolina, and Miss State. But goddamn...watching these useless fools playing QB has been about as much fun as sitting through a Lars Von Trier movie.

I'm out. See you never.

my favorite album of 2011

2011-10-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

the city of Atlanta has been killing it for a few years now with some of the best rock n roll around...but Turf War might just be the best goddamn band yet. always a great live band for a couple of years now they'd now releases an album that does it's best to capture what makes these Southern boys so fucking good.

their debut, Years Of Living Dangerously, is the kinda record that hits you in your gut. it's gotta that energy that only a lovable loser whose been beat down by years of bad choices and worse luck can produce. it's the story of 1000 late night benders and 1000 blurry eyed hangovers all crashing together in an ode to having a good time and having no regrets...even if we all die too young. it's what a good rock record should sound like: a little bit sad, a little bit angry, and with enough hooks & catchy choruses to make Tom Petty proud.

get it here get it now.

video for the first single, "Cheers to the Years"

Energy Vampires are truly bummed out right now.

2011-10-13T08:02:00.001-07:00

i guess i don't have to worry about burning my Cam Newtown jersey or throwing away all my BCS title swag i got at the Spring game.

we got away with it, motherfuckers.

War Damn Eagle.

it's halloween season. listen to the misfits.

2011-10-12T10:21:00.001-07:00

all my teams suck again, as i remember them

2011-10-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

That didn't take very long. Last year I got spoiled by a national title winning Auburn team and a Falcons squad that had the NFC's best record and the Braves were back in the playoffs with an exciting group of young players. 1 year later I have a young Auburn team that is gonna be lucky to win 7 games, a Falcons squad that looks fucking terrible and has me wanting them to blow up the franchise and start all over again, & the Braves collapse makes me wanna give up baseball for good.

Auburn I at least still believe in...well not this year's team, but I believe in them going forward...assuming Frazier actually figures out how to throw a football. (Please don't let him be Kodi Burns all over again.) Maybe QBs from Arkansas that spell their first names retardedly just aren't the way to go.

The Falcons I don't believe in AT ALL. This is season 4 of the Matt Ryan/Mike Smith era and this year's version of the Dirty Birds looks like the worst of the bunch. Turner is old. The offensive line is banged up and ineffective. Roddy White is dropping passes. Julio Jones was not worth all those goddamn draft picks. The defense is just fucking awful. And worst of all, Matt Ryan is exactly the QB I thought he was before Atlanta drafted him...aka average. You are not winning a Super Bowl with a guy who is just average. It is not happening. Not anymore. The days of Trent Dilfer being a championship QB are over. If you don't have one of the top 10 qbs in the league then you are fucked. Matt Ryan might not even be top 20 if you are being honest. Hell he would be the last QB I would draft out of his own division. Brees and Freedman are already better than Matty Ice and Cam Newton is the fucking future of the NFC South. Matt Ryan is Steve DeBerg. Why didn't they just suck one more year and then draft Matt Stafford?

The Braves are...ugghh who fucking cares? I hate baseball.

the Top 25 is so bad that i still have Auburn ranked.

2011-10-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS POINTLESS TOP 25

1A. LSU
1B. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Stanford
5. Wisconsin
6. Clemson
7. Boise State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Arkansas
10. Oregon
11. Georgia Tech
12. Michigan
13. Kansas State
14. Illinois
15. West Virginia
16. Nebraska
17. South Carolina
18. Houston
19. Arizona State
20. Baylor
21. Auburn
22. Michigan State
23. UGA
24. Virginia Tech
25. Texas

wow, that was fucking terrible

2011-10-09T01:59:00.000-07:00

So Auburn gets their asses kicked by Arkansas in a game that proved we in fact have noone who can play quarterback at the moment and that our defense shutting down South Carolina last week was more about the Man, The Myth, The Legend; Stephen Garcia than anything Auburn actually did well. And so Auburn again looks like a team on course to win 6 or 7 games at best and not someone who will end the season ranked. At this point I don't need to see Barrett Trotter take another goddamn snap for the Tigers. He is about the worst damn QB I care to lay eyes on in the orange and blue. Frazier may have looked just as terrible with two of the ugliest damn interceptions you will ever see a qb throw but id take a freshman learning over some scrub of an upper classmen whose got zero upside and looks completely lost whenever he drops back to throw. Not that Trotter is 100% to blame...how many fucking drops did Auburn have in the game? It seemed like 20. The ball just hit guys right in the hands and then hit the turf. It was a sickening display. It reminded me of the olden days when Auburn couldn't ever find a good wr target. Why the hell did Darvin Adam's ass go pro? If Auburn had a threesome of Adams, Blake, and Reed they'd be fine this year...I like to imagine anyways. Uggh...whatever, fuck it. It was an ugly loss. Auburn got run off the field and shut completely down and by the 4th quarter it was all but over. Hopefully the lousy lookin' Gators will be a win that our Tigers can get next week, at home. But I'm not counting on it. War Damn Whatever.

is there any point ranking anyone outside the top 5?

2011-10-03T06:26:00.000-07:00

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS POINTLESS TOP 25

1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Clemson
6. Stanford
7. Boise State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Oregon
10. Georgia Tech
11. Arkansas
12. West Virginia
13. Kansas State
14. Michigan
15. Texas
16. Auburn
17. South Carolina
18. Florida
19. Illinois
20. Nebraska
21. Houston
22. Arizona State
23. Virginia Tech
24. Baylor
25. Texas Tech

all my favorite teams suck at everything

2011-10-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

Braves complete the most epic fail in baseball history (other than those far more overcovered assholes in Boston). I'm swearing off baseball for good.

The Falcons let a mediocre Seahawks team comeback on them and nearly choke.

Auburn remains the most frustrating team in the country but somehow beats an even more clueless South Carolina squad.

Sports are supposed to entertain...but these 3 teams just make me wanna shoot my face off.

fucking Braves

2011-09-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

fire Fredi. throw Lowe in the trash. burn down Atlanta again.

at least the fucking Red Sox lost...that way we will never ever hear about the Braves choking ever again.

being a Falcons fan is never a thing of joy

2011-09-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

So the Falcons were able to somehow steal a win from an Eagles team that is obviously better than them by knocking Mike Vick the fuck out. It's a cheap way to win a game but I'll take it.

But honestly I have no faith in this Falcons squad. The defense sucks. The offensive line can't block. Matt Ryan looks like he's regressing. And Mike Turner looks slow and old. The playcalling is some of the most vanilla ass predictable bullshit in the enitre NFL....especially among teams who are supposedly contenders. And with Tampa being a young and talented team on the rise and Carolina having that Newton fella throwing for 400 yards everygame...well I don't know if I believe that Atlanta is going to be owning the NFC South anytime soon. To me Atlanta is going to struggle to get a playoff spot. The Saints look much better in their first two games than the Falcons did. I see 9-7 or 8-8 as a very real possibility. Hell if they went 6-10 I wouldn't even be that shocked. This team just doesn't seem nearly as talented as a year ago. Sure I know I am the most whiny pessimistic fan a team could ever have, but goddamnit....being a Falcons fan just fucking sucks most of the time. This is the golden age of the franchise and I can't ever see a Super Bowl with the current group of players. No fucking way they could get past The Packers. Hell I don't like their chances with an Eagles rematch either...no matter who Philly has behind center. Young, Kafka, Vick...it doesn't matter, it's McCoy, Maclin, and Jackson that make that machine run. Right now i'd have to put Atlanta behind Green Bay, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Chicago, Dallas, and Detroit as far as talent in the NFC. Yeah Detroit. Who is gonna stop Suh from murdering Ryan? Who can cover Calvin Johnson in the Falcons secondary? Shit I'm not even sure Tampa Bay isn't the 2nd best team in Atlanta's own division. Ughhh. Fuck it. One day I will finally stop caring about this stupid team.

So long Tigers, Thanks For the Memories...

2011-09-18T05:13:00.000-07:00

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS totally useless Top 25

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Stanford
6. Boise State
7. Nebraska
8. Arkansas
9. Oklahoma State
10. Florida
11. South Carolina
12. FSU
13. Texas A&M
14. Virginia Tech
15. Oregon
16. South Florida
17. Georgia Tech
18. Clemson
19. West Virginia
20. Houston
21. Baylor
22. USC
23. Texas
24. North Carolina
25. Vandy!!!

i can't believe i wasted a beautiful day watching that shitty football game

2011-09-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

Ugggh. I guess Auburn finally ran out of Cam's magic pixie dust. Oh well. It has been so long since Auburn actually lost a game that I kinda forgot how bad it felt.

What can I say about this game? During the 1st quarter it looked Auburn was gonna run away with this game...but then a stupid punt return by Trevon Reed and a bad return by Tre Mason and suddenly Auburn's defense completely lost their momentum and Clemson just started scoring at will and that was pretty much it.

On offense Auburn got way too many players involved instead of just feeding Dyer over and over again until that stopped working. Mason shouldn't be getting any carries that aren't in junk time and McCalebb is best used as a secondary back. I get sick of him getting those wrap around handoffs that go for nothing. As for our QB...he is servicable at best. He misses so many wide open reads and is almost zero threat to run and he made two horrible throws into coverage. One that was dropped by the Clemson defender and other that killed any chance Auburn had at making a comeback. I have seen enough of him. Auburn's streak is over. They are not going to win the SEC West. Losing to Clemson basically means Auburn is probably a 6 or 7 win team at best. Play the goddamn highly rated Freshman QB and bench the guy who prob wouldn't start at Kentucky. I will never understand playing experience over talent.

The words I have for Auburn's shitty zone defense are just not worth uttering in case children find this site. Fuck Ted Rood. Thanks for being part of the title but I give most of that credit to Tracy Rocker. They can not stop anyone from doing anything and they make me want to die.

Uggh. Now I must go drink.

Early Cuyler and T-Pain are not fans of Auburn

2011-09-14T08:44:00.001-07:00

Auburn Sucks! in autotune. this needs to be my ringtone. one of the funniest episodes of Squidbillies ever. the Stone Mountain laser show with shoutouts to the SEC was pretty amazing as well. still not as funny as the Original Gator Hater...but close.

Auburn Sucks! Auburn Is Amazing!

2011-09-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

sorry America, but no team wants to ruin your day more than my Auburn Tigers. the more people doubt them, the more likely they are to pull a motherfucking miracle out their motherfucking asses. and such is life. i thought the magic pixies dust that covered the orange and blue had flew it's ass off to the nfl and was now wearing shades of silver and blue in different cities of the NFL nation...but i guess Cam Newtown left some of that Cammy Juice in the locker room and Barrett Trotter is hiding it in his locker. 2 games into 2011 and the Tigers STILL aren't losing to anyone (no matter how hard they may try to do it). they don't look pretty at all and they sure as shit don't look like a team that could win more than 7 games...and yet if this team somehow went like 9-3 would i even be shocked? not really. looking at the rest of the schedule the only games i don't automatically see Auburn being able to put up a win are....well none of them. even Bama and LSU for all their amazing talent on defense don't seem indestructable. neither of their offenses seem built to withstand a good old fashioned shoot out. do i really think the Tigers have a chance in hell at winning the SEC west in '11? lord no. but do i see Auburn making every damn game they play interesting for the rest of the season despite a complete lack of experience on their team? totally.

War Damn Eagle! it is good to be an Auburn Tiger.

...and now for A Lifetime Of Defeats Completely Pointless Top 25

1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma
4. Wisconsin
5. Stanford
6. Boise State
7. FSU
8. Arkansas
9. Nebraska
10. Oklahoma State
11. South Carolina
12. Michigan State
13. Auburn
14. Florida
15. Texas A&M
16. Tennessee
17. Virginia Tech
18. Oregon
19. South Florida
20. Georgia Tech
21. West Virginia
22. Houston
23. Baylor
24. Mississippi State
25. USC

i've had the desire to yell "War Damn Eagle" at random strangers on brisk Fall afternoons yet again.

2011-08-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

it's been a long and depressing offseason. the afterglow of Auburn's national championship has left me with the same feeling i had when i lost my virginity...which is to say i was so glad that finally happened but the next time i hope it goes a lot smoother. the preseason prognosticators have predicted doom and gloom for our Tigers. i myself said last season that i fully expected Auburn to be a 7-5 team next year BUT that assuming Khiel Frazier is developed this season as a QB that Auburn stood a goddamn good chance of being back in the SEC and BCS title hunts for the 2012 and 2013 seasons. but living in a rival school's hometown has left my ears full of the bitterness that is UGA football fandom (nice uniforms, btw...you NIke whores) and their predictions (dirty little fantasies) of seeing Auburn go 4-8. basically the running narrative for this offseason is what a fluke/perfect storm 2010 was, that our coaches aren't any good, and that we will be lucky to beat Ole Miss. i call bullshit on that. the only games i predict being a total longshot are LSU and Arkansas. we've learned the last two seasons that Auburn isn't gonna roll over and fucking die against Alabama and assuming the Tide is in the title hunt you know Auburn will get up for that game. Clemson and USC are teams Auburn just never loses to and i expect them to at least go 1-1 vs the South Carlonia schools. i don't see Auburn losing at home to Mississippi State or Ole Miss. you know they are gonna give those Gators all they can handle. and i am of the opinion UGA is in for a horrible season that will put an end to the Richt era and so i wouldn't be surprised if UGA doesn't have a whole lot to play for when Auburn rolls into Athens. my best case scenario for 2011 is that Auburn finished the regular season at 9-3, tied for 2nd or 3rd in the West and gets a New Year's bowl game (likely the Cotton or Outback) but has a lot of momentum built up for 2012. my worst case scenario is that Auburn loses a lot of really close games and ends up with a 6-6 record and a trip to the Liberty (or whatever lower tier bowl the SEC has). i can swallow a 6-6 year as long as there's a lot of development being shown by Auburn's talented true and redshirt freshmen who are gonna be making up the bulk of the team's roster.

quick QB thoughts:

i will be the first to admit that i was less than thrilled to hear Barrett Trotter named Auburn's starting QB...a player that has to rank right up with Chris Todd as the least talented starter in the last 20 years, but Malzhan was able to make Todd into some kind of productive and useful starter in 2009 and so i would expect nothing less with Trotter. i would however like to assume that at the exact point Auburn is eliminated from any chance to reclaiming the SEC West crown that the keys to the offense will be handed over to our talented incoming Freshman QB (before our other talented Freshman QB shows up next season) and see if the kid lives up to the hype. starting a freshman is never ideal at QB but i have always been of the opinion that you go with the guy with the most talent...not the guy who has been hanging around the longest.

3 things i want to see from Auburn in 2011:

1. a big upset over either Bama, LSU, Florida, or UGA (all games Auburn will likely not be favored in...even though i predict UGA will suck)

2. Khiel Frazier as Auburn's QB at some point (hopefully after the team's 2nd loss) in the season.

3. a defense that can actually shut some team's down in the conference ever so often.

anyways, i am finally getting excited again that the season is almost here. i'll be at the home opener ready to cheer on the Tigers rocking my 2010 BCS title shirt and ready to drop an F-bomb or 5 the first time Auburn doesn't score a TD on a drive.

War Eagle, you fuckers.

free music from my favorite Atlanta, GA band

2011-05-09T08:51:00.001-07:00

my boys, Turf War, are some drunk hooligans from Atlanta who just recorded a new song that's gonna be the anthem of summer 2011...or at the very least a song that you'll put on a mixtape. it's called "Summer time booze" and they want you to have it for free.

so download that shit here and thank me later.

Latest tracks by turfwar

your running themes for the 2011 MLB from ESPN

2011-03-31T07:32:00.000-07:00

Yankees/Sawx
the Yanks lose 3 in a row: what's wrong with the Yankees?
Phillies are so great, why do the other teams in the NL exist?
Albert Puljos: wouldn't he make a great Yankee or Sawk?
it's August and the Mets are in last place, but we think they can make a run this year.
do they still play baseball out west?
Yankees vs. Red Sox: why can't they just play everyday?

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you

2011-03-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, that was the most useless thing HBO has aired since the Sopranos finale.

4 bitter ex players claiming they got paid. The only guy I would've believed was worth any money was McClover whose former teammates claim he blew all his NFL cash on strippers and now has an axe to grind. Another player Ramsey of course has tried to sue the program because of a back injury, another guy who didn't even set foot on the field, and another who is pissed about not getting a job. If a former player like Carlos Rogers was making these claims then I would be worried. But I'm just not losing any sleep over this. Sorry, unless there is some actual proof all this is going to result in is more ugly coverage and mudslinging from espn and a bunch of longwinded and whiny blog rants about how Auburn should get the death penalty from UGA fans who are pissed at the fact they are NEVER going to win a national title ever again because they can't beat Florida.

I'm not naive enough to believe that some shady shit hasn't gone down at Auburn in the past, but until there is an actual smoking gun that the NCAA finds then all of this is nothing more than talk. Lots and lots of talk.

2011 has been pretty interesting for Auburn

2011-03-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

Win a national title.

Bring in a kickass top 10 recruiting class.

Get trees killed by lunatic Alabama fan.

Have 4 players arrested for armed robbery and kicked off the team.

What the fuck is next?

so much for Cyrus Kan'tbotherlookinguphowtospellhisfuckingname.

2011-02-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

that 5 star tackle dude picked Bama instead. whatever. Auburn still has a top offensive line class and a top 10 recruiting class by all the major sites that rank that sorta thing. when's Spring practice start?

recruiting is like crack: 2011 edition

2011-02-02T10:09:00.001-08:00

national signing day is upon us. so far Auburn has landed 24 recruits. there’s always a possibility of them adding another player but likely this will be the class. Auburn’s only loss was 4 star Linebacker/Runningback Brent Calloway who decided to choose Alabama over Auburn.

the real prize of the day was when Auburn landed the #1 offensive tackle in the country, Cyrus Kouandjio (noone in Auburn is going to be able to pronounce that dudes last name. just sayin’). that gives Auburn by far the best offensive line class in the country to go with the #4 tackle, #3 guard, and #1 center. hopefully this is a group Auburn can build another title around.

some other guys to be excited about are 5 star linebacker Kris Frost, 4 star runningbacks Quan Bray and Tre Mason, QB Khiel Frazier, and the best defensive back class in the nation headed by Jermaine Whitehead…and after last season if there is anything Auburn needs worse than anything are some fucking DBs who can cover.

Auburn will likely end up with another top 10 and possibly top 5 class once the day is done. i expected a lot of these kids to be playing next season as true freshmen with all of Auburn’s player losses and with the lack of depth thanks to Tuberville’s weak recruiting classes in his final two years. but 2 straight years of solid recruiting from Chizik and his staff let us all know that Auburn is going to be back in the SEC and BCS title hunt sooner rather than later.

so let's celebrate with a gratuitous picture of Lyla Garrity (Minka Kelly) in her underwear.

War Damn Eagle

update. currently Auburn is ranked #7 by Rivals, #1 by Scout, and #2 by ESPN but i guess that 5 star tackle dude whose name i can't pronounce is waffling on his choice of the TIgers. i'm gonna go ahead and assume he's gonna sign elsewhere. regardless it's a solid class that added some much needed talent on the offensive line and in the secondary.

thinking about the 2011 season, already

2011-01-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

So Darvin Adams is gone.
Nick Fairley is gone.
Cam Newton is gone.
The O-Line is gone.
Most of the D-Line is gone.
Bynes and Stevens are gone.
Etheridge, Washington, Savage...gone.
Byrum and Shoemaker...gone.

So where does that leave the 2011 version of the Auburn Tigers? Young and inexperienced and with a murderous schedule with roadtrips to UGA, LSU, South Carolina, Arkansas, & Clemson. Not to mention Florida, Mississippi State, and Alabama on the schedule too. If Auburn goes 5-7 would you be shocked?

Luckily Auburn fans are going to be way too high on this season's title to get too depressed about what happens next season. As long as Auburn wins a few big games and shows some growth in their young players I think 2011 is going to be just fine. I think 2012 will be Auburn's real goal for getting back to Atlanta and beyond.

On offense Auburn's #1 question is going to be who is our QB. Trotter will most likely have the edge but if Auburn is smart they will start Khiel Frazier. What better way to suffer through a tough year than breaking in a true freshman QB stud? The other big question is who is gonna start on the o-line. Auburn's had some pretty good recruits in last year's class and the likely incoming group, there's a good chance we might see 3 freshmen....which after being spoiled by the group we are losing could lead to a lot of screaming and hairpulling, but again why not suffer through next season and break in the young talent? Finding playmakers at wideout will also be a big priority after losing our top 2 pass catchers. This is an area I feel like won't be as big a problem. Auburn still has Emory Blake and Lutzenkirchen (who I expect to be a huge part of the offense next year) as well as Carr who showed some potential and then there's all that potential receiver talent that the Tigers have recruited the last few years. Benton has yet to prove his former 5 star ranking but Trevon Reed will be expected to make an impact.

Luckily the Tigers have a solid running game to carry the offense and have the potential for 2 thousand yard rushers with Dyer and McCalebb. if anything, 2011 is set to be The Michael Dyer show and gets the ball rolling towards his push for the 2012 Heisman. oh yeah, i am getting greedy.

Even missing Bynes, Fairley, Stevens, and everyone else I think the defense could be better next season...it's hard to imagine that it could be worse. It'll be young but there's some talent hitting the Plains. Expect to see a lot of freshmen and sophomores next year.

I choose to believe that despite the fact Auburn is going to be very young next year and has a tougher schedule than the 2010 Tigers had that Auburn still has enough talent and a creative enough offensive coordinator to at least win 7 or 8 games and set up Auburn for a chance at the 2012 SEC title.

Falcons still the Falcons

2011-01-15T20:24:00.000-08:00

Just when I was feeling all high on my Auburn Tigers BCS title, I can always count on the Atlanta Falcons to bring me back to Earth.

That was fucking depressing.

Goodbye Kodi, I'm gonna miss you most of all.

2011-01-15T11:45:00.001-08:00

and so it is time we say goodbye to our 2010 National Champion Auburn Tigers, the most exciting Auburn team in my lifetime. the 2004 squad will probably always be the most dominant and talented, but 2010 will always be the the most special. Cam and Nick were the superstars. the offensive line were the backbone. but Kodi Burns will always be the heart. from the moment he came to Auburn he has done whatever he was asked to help make Auburn better. the moment he lost his starting job to Chris Todd and was asked to move to wide receiver and he decided NOT to transfer and to stick around he solidified himself as an All Time Auburn Great. he personified the words Unselfish and Leader. not to mention he blocked his ass off better than any Auburn wideout i can ever remember. it seems only fitting that his loan touchdown catch of the season was saved for his final game. in a game full of plays that i'll never forget, that was what got the ball rolling. thank you Kodi Burns for being an Auburn Man. i'm never gonna forget #18.

So Long Cam, thanks for everything...well almost everything

2011-01-14T10:49:00.001-08:00

to the shock of exactly noone, Cam Newton is going pro...as he honestly should. his NFL stock will never be higher, especially when nearly his entire offensive line is going to be replaced next season. anyone who gets mad as kids for leaving early is probably a douchebag anyways.

so long Cam and thanks for the most amazing/exciting/scary/controversial/fucking awesome season i’ve ever had as an Auburn Tigers fan. i never thought i’d live to see the day where i’d consider someone other than Bo Jackson as the greatest Tiger of all time. we may have only had 1 year together, but damn it was a good year. good luck in the NFL. do us proud on Sundays. go get paid son. i just hope you don't end up in Washington like poor JC.

Auburn's SI Cover

2011-01-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

as soon as the damn snow and ice melts and i can actually leave my house i will hunting down my SI issue for framing. i guess i need to find a good national champions shirt or hoodie as well (although Auburn needs to step it up in the design department because the stuff i've seen online kinda sucks). then of course i'll need to buy the SI hardcover book and the dvd and the football and so on and so forth. an Auburn based economy is just the thing to get us out of this recession.

i'm not sure if i can call my blog A Lifetime of Defeats anymore.

2011-01-12T15:43:00.000-08:00

it's been 2 days now and things have finally sunk in. monday night was real. Auburn is the 2010 BCS National Champion. can you wrap your brain around that? did this seem even remotely possible at the end of the 2008 season? being a lifetime pessimist and someone used to having his heart ripped out by his favorite teams i never ever believed Auburn would ever finally clinch an outright national title. and yet it really fucking happened. i'm still at a loss for words to say how i feel.

I can't even lie. Watching the title game was not an enjoyable event for me. I was a nervous mess the whole night. Everytime something went wrong for the Tigers I felt like I was going to puke. It was borderline torture at points. But Auburn kept making the plays it had to make and keeping my heart from completely exploding in my chest. When Oregon tied the game up 19-19 I even said, "Auburn is gonna lose." I could feel the misery setting in. I started to wonder what were the chances Auburn would ever get another shot at this. And then Dyer made his "he's down, oh shit he's not down" run. And I finally perked up. I started to have visions of Wes Byrum's kick vs Florida dancing in my head. And then when Dyer blasted through Oregon's line for what I thought was the game winning touchdown I fell onto the floor and began to weep for joy. Of course it was reviewed and he has down at the 1 and all Byrum had to do was make a chip shot and we were champs...but I could barely even watch it. My heart was racing. My stomach was in knots. It's up. It's good!!!!!!!!! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! The Tigers are champs! Auburn are the national champions! Can you even believe it? Is it real? I thought it I died right that second it wouldn't have been so bad.

The high still hasn't worn off. I've been in this endless fog. It's a weird feeling. I remember talking to a friend of mine who was a Red Sox fan and how he told me that winning the World Series was amazing not only because he'd been waiting for that moment his whole life but because now the Sox were just another team who'd won a World Series. And now that's how I feel too. For all my angst and anxiety of being an Auburn fan all these years I could finally just enjoy rooting for my team and know that no metter whatever happens the rest of my life that no other moment would ever be this special again. And because of that I can just root for my Tigers and never get as worked up or miserable about winning or losing ever again. It feels amazing. And in a way it feels kind of sad. But it's a good sad.

thank you Nick Fairley, you giant half bear half man force of destruction. are you the dirtiest Auburn player of all time? fuck yeah, you are. you are a mean ass sonofabitch and i'd hate the shit out of you too if i was one of those pussyass UGA fans. but you are ours and for that i love you.

i've never been more happy to be so wrong about anything in my entire life as calling Gene Chizik the worst hire possible. thanks Coach. i'm willing to forgive 3 straight years of mediocrity before i ever call for your head.

Thank you Wes Byrum. Chip shot or not it's the kick that made us champions!!! motherfucking champions!!!!

And of course thank you, Cam. But that almost needs to be left unsaid.

So War Damn Eagle, everyone. Enjoy this moment for a long, long time. I know I will.

Final Poll Of the Season

2011-01-11T09:06:00.000-08:00

A Lifetime Of Defeats Top 25 Final Poll

1. Auburn Tigers
2. Oregon
3. TCU
4. Stanford
5. Ohio State
6. LSU
7. Alabama
8. Oklahoma
9. Wisconsin
10. Nevada
11. Boise State
12. Arkansas
13. Oklahoma State
14. Mississippi State
15. Michigan State
16. Missouri
17. Va Tech
18. FSU
19. Texas A&M
20. South Carolina
21. Nebraska
22. UCF
23. Maryland
24. Tulsa
25. San Diego State

my brain is destroyed

2011-01-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Tonight we are champions, Auburn fans. This is real. This is happening.

just 1 more win and everyone gets to die happy

2011-01-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight. It's here. Just 2 more hours. I'm a mixture or excitement and dread not unlike that time I was 16 with that girl who shall remain nameless. After tonight I'm either going to be the happiest idiot in the world or too depressed to watch another football game for the rest of my life. As much as I've enjoyed this season for the Atlanta Falcons and as bad as I want them to win a Super Bowl, I would gladly watch them lose 100-0 this weekend in exchange for a 1 point victory tonight for my Tigers.

Cam Newton you gifted man-child, whatever magic you've got left in that juice bottle drink it all up. A win tonight and I'm going to be too full of pride and joy to give a damn if Auburn is 6-6 and Liberty Bowl bound next season. Hell they could have 3 straight medicore years before i'd get angry about it if The Chiz lifts that crystal football over his head. In all my years of rooting for the Braves and Falcons and Tigers I've never wanted a win more in my entire life. Just let me have this moment and I won't ask for another one again (totally lying about that). Go Auburn! Win Baby Win! War Damn Eagle Forever and Ever and Ever!!!

the 2nd Season Begins. Can the Falcons actually get to the Super Bowl?

2011-01-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

After finishing up one of their best regular seasons in team history the Falcons find themselves as the #1 seed in the NFC. That means no trips to Greenbay, Philly, New Orleans, or Chicago. It's home field advantage...something Atlanta desperately needed to have any chance to get to Dallas. They seemed nearly unbeatable at home (despite several close wins) until the Saints crushed that feeling of invincibility in the Dome. Fucking Saints. Regardless Atlanta was great at home and beat several quality teams and so there's no reason not to believe they've got a shot at an NFC championship this year.

Of the 6 NFC teams that made the playoffs 5 of them seem capable of being the NFC champs. The Saints are defending champs and get an easy 1st rounder vs. The Seahawks, at this point they look like the Falcons most likely opponent in the 2nd round. Both the Packers and Eagles are beat up some, but both are scary. I'll be rooting for Greenbay just because I like Atlanta's chances vs the Packers better than the Saints...and I really really don't want to have to facethe Eagles in the title game. Chicago is the least scary number 2 seed I can ever remember, but their defense is the kind that could easily win the game for them vs. Atlanta...still I'll be rooting for the Bears because I think Atlanta is more talented than Chicago. The Eagles and Saints really seem like Atlanta's biggest threat, so I'll be rooting for upsets next weekend...but I'm not holding my breath on Seattle.

Fuck The Saints. I Hope Your City Floods Again.

2010-12-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

take that statement as a joke. i would never actually wish death and destruction on a city, even one as shitty as New Orleans. aka the most overrated city in america. what you can't get drunk in your own town?

anyways the loss last night was sort of a sickening one. Mike Smith made poor choices and left me feeling like there is no way that guy can win a Super Bowl. Michael Turner ran like shit and makes me wonder if the Falcons should dump him in the offseason and find a pair of younger legs. Matt Ryan tried to do everything and got very little help from anyone not named Roddy White. the Falcons #1 draft priority needs to be a fucking WR...that was painfully obvious when Michael Jenkins is dropping passes that hit him in the arms when he's wide fucking open. the mystique of the Georgia Dome is all but gone. Atlanta should be able to wrap up homefield by beating the Panthers on Sunday (never a given no matter how shitty they look) but do you really feel as confidant that Atlanta can defend the Dome should they have to face the Packers or Saints in a few weeks? i don't.

in other words: I AM IN PANIC MODE!!!!!

the defense played well and i think are still the most underrated unit in the NFL. holding Drew Brees to 17 points should be enough, it was the offense that lost that fucking game. hopefully Atlanta can lay a nice asswhipping on Carolina and get some of their swagger back because after the game last night i don't think anyone believes the Falcons are the best team in the NFC anymore.

Dear Texas,

2010-12-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

Fuck off! Stay away from our offensive coordinator.

Auburn can't fix your fucking team everytime you need to hire someone you fucking dickheads. Go raid someone elses's pantry. You guys are starting to remind me of the damn New York Yankees. Give that Applewhite dude a try. I hear Rich Rodriguez may be looking for work soon. Go recruit another QB who can actually run.

Your pal, Justin.

P.S. love me some Austin, see you this spring at SXSW.

Infinite Lulz!!!

2010-12-08T11:47:00.001-08:00

Meyer quit again, no for real this time.

hahahahahahaha x forever. fuck that guy.

to borrow a phrase from a blog i hate, BOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

sadly Florida is probably better off with Dan Mullen anyways. oh well, no joy in hate.

2010 ALL-SEC TEAM

2010-12-07T12:34:00.001-08:00

Nick Fairley was named Defensive Player of the Year
Cam Newton was named Offensive Player of the Year
Gene Chizik was named Coach of the Year

ONLY 4 Auburn players made the ALL-SEC 1st and 2nd teams (all were 1st teamers.) Newton, Fairly, as well as offensive linemen Ryan Pugh and Lee Ziemba. Darvin Adams gets snubbed again...but to be fair WR was a loaded position this season in the SEC so it's hard to argue about him getting left off despite over 900 yards recieving. i would've liked to have seen Mike Berry get some love and Josh Bynes, and how the hell is Michael Dyer not on here? he was way more deserving than Mark Ingram or Trent Richardson...but it's all about big names with this sorta thing. way too many Bama players on here for a team that essentially finished 4th in the SEC West.

FIRST-TEAM ALL-SEC -- OFFENSE
TE D.J. Williams Arkansas 6-2 251 Sr. Little Rock, Ark.
OL Derek Sherrod Mississippi State (T) 6-6 305 Sr. Columbus, Miss.
OL Lee Ziemba Auburn 6-8 319 Sr. Rogers, Ark.
OL DeMarcus Love Arkansas (T) 6-5 315 Sr. Lancaster, Texas
*OL James Carpenter Alabama (T) 6-5 300 Sr. Augusta, Ga.
*OL Clint Boling Georgia (T) 6-5 315 Sr. Alpharetta, Ga.
C Ryan Pugh Auburn (C) 6-4 297 Sr. Hoover, Ala.
WR Alshon Jeffery South Carolina 6-4 233 So. St. Matthews, S.C.
WR Julio Jones Alabama 6-4 220 Jr. Foley, Ala.
QB Cam Newton Auburn 6-6 250 Jr. College Park, Ga.
RB Marcus Lattimore South Carolina 6-0 218 Fr. Duncan, S.C.
RB Stevan Ridley LSU 6-0 226 Jr. Natchez, Miss.
AP Randall Cobb Kentucky 5-11 186 Jr. Alcoa, Tenn.

SECOND-TEAM ALL-SEC -- OFFENSE
TE Orson Charles Georgia 6-3 240 So. Tampa, Fla.
OL Larry Warford Kentucky (G) 6-3 329 So. Richmond, Ky.
OL Barrett Jones Alabama (G) 6-4 301 So. Memphis, Tenn.
OL Garrett Chisolm South Carolina (G) 6-6 303 Sr. Charleston, S.C.
OL Joseph Barksdale LSU (T) 6-6 318 Sr. Detroit, Mich.
C William Vlachos Alabama (C) 6-1 289 Jr. Birmingham, Ala.
WR A.J. Green Georgia 6-4 212 Jr. Summerville, S.C.
WR Randall Cobb Kentucky 5-11 186 Jr. Alcoa, Tenn.
QB Ryan Mallett Arkansas 6-6 238 Jr. Texarkana, Ark.
RB Knile Davis Arkansas 6-0 220 So. Missouri City, Texas
RB Mark Ingram Alabama 5-10 215 Jr. Flint, Mich.
AP Trent Richardson Alabama 5-11 220 So. Pensacola, Fla.

FIRST-TEAM ALL-SEC -- DEFENSE
DL Drake Nevis LSU 6-2 285 Sr. Marrero, La.
DL Marcell Dareus Alabama 6-4 306 Jr. Birmingham, Ala.
DL Nick Fairley Auburn 6-5 298 Jr. Mobile, Ala.
DL Pernell McPhee Mississippi State 6-4 285 Sr. Pahokee, Fla.
LB Danny Trevathan Kentucky 6-1 223 Jr. Leesburg, Fla.
LB Kelvin Sheppard LSU 6-3 240 Sr. Stone Mountain, Ga.
LB Justin Houston Georgia 6-3 258 Jr. Statesboro, Ga.
DB Patrick Peterson LSU (CB) 6-1 222 Jr. Pompano Beach, Fla.
DB Mark Barron Alabama (S) 6-2 210 Jr. Mobile, Ala.
DB Ahmad Black Florida (S) 5-9 190 Sr. Lakeland, Fla.
DB Stephon Gilmore South Carolina (CB) 6-1 189 So. Rock Hill, S.C.

SECOND-TEAM ALL-SEC -- DEFENSE
DL Jake Bequette Arkansas 6-5 271 Jr. Little Rock, Ark.
DL Cliff Matthews South Carolina 6-4 268 Sr. Cheraw, S.C.
DL Devin Taylor South Carolina 6-7 249 So. Beaufort, S.C.
DL Jerrell Powe Ole Miss 6-2 320 Sr. Waynesboro, Miss.
LB Dont’a Hightower Alabama 6-4 260 So. Lewisburg, Tenn.
LB Chris White Mississippi State 6-4 245 Sr. Vancleave, Miss.
*LB Chris Marve Vanderbilt 6-0 235 Jr. Memphis, Tenn.
*LB Jerry Franklin Arkansas 6-1 241 Jr. Marion, Ark.
DB Robert Lester Alabama (S) 6-2 206 So. Foley, Ala.
DB Janoris Jenkins Florida (CB) 5-11 184 Jr. Pahokee, Fla.
DB Casey Hayward Vanderbilt 5-11 188 Jr. Perry, Ga.
*DB Janzen Jackson Tennessee 6-0 187 So. Lake Charles, La.
*DB Dre Kirkpatrick Alabama (CB) 6-3 190 So. Gadsden, Ala.
*DB Morris Claiborne LSU (CB) 6-0 177 So. Shreveport, La.

FIRST-TEAM ALL-SEC -- SPECIAL TEAMS
PK Blair Walsh Georgia 5-10 183 Jr. Boca Raton, Fla.
P Chas Henry Florida 6-3 215 Sr. Dallas, Ga.
RS Patrick Peterson LSU 6-1 222 Jr. Pompano Beach, Fla.

SECOND-TEAM ALL-SEC -- SPECIAL TEAMS
PK Josh Jasper LSU 5-11 171 Sr. Memphis, Tenn.
P Drew Butler Georgia 6-2 210 Jr. Duluth, Ga.
RS Trent Richardson Alabama 5-11 220 So. Pensacola, Fla.

HONORARY CAPTAIN
DE Nick Bell Mississippi State 6-3 265 So. Bessemer, Ala.

Another Pointless Top 10 List About Music On A Blog About Sports

2010-12-06T20:36:00.001-08:00

i used to really love making my year end top 10s...but as i have become old and no longer as obsessed with KNOWING about everything i have fallen into a pattern of only getting albums by bands that i've heard good things about from people i really trust. (i also realized i only listen to new music that sounds like old shit i already liked as a teenager). anyways 2010 might be the least active i have ever been in my whole life when it comes to discovering new music...regardless here are a list of albums that i liked a lot, listened to a lot, and will probably still like around this time next year.

1. Harlem - Hippies
probably the best power pop/garage rock band since The Strokes unleashed their first two albums on the hipster population of the United States is Austin, Texas' Harlem. this album is so fucking catchy it might as well have been called Herpes.

2. The Walkmen - Lisbon
my favorite band of the last 10 years just keeps chugging along with album after album of solid material. easily their best record since Bows & Arrows.

3. Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest
the best band from Atlanta, GA also happens to be one of the best bands in all of indie rock. Deerhunter are falling into their place as the Sonic Youth of the new generation.

4. Grinderman - Grinderman 2
my love for Nick Cave can not be understated. the man is truly one of my musical heroes and i consider him one of the great songwriters of all time in league with Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen...but it's still pretty awesome to see him cut loose in his 50s with a band whose music can best be described as dirty old man rock.

5. Zola Jesus - Stridulum EP
i always have and always will have a soft spot in my heart for weird goth chicks.

6. Dum Dum Girls - I Will Be
two of my favorite kinds of music are 60s girl group stuff like the Shangri-Las and Ronettes and 1990s indie pop. apparently that is also the chicks in Dum Dum Girls favorite two genres as well.

7. Beach Fossils - Beach Fossils
sounds like a 90s shoegaze band trying to sound like the Beach Boys. Surfgaze. solid.

8. No Age - Everything In Between
No Age are here to remind us that Husker Du and Sebadoh are fucking awesome.

9. Crocodiles - Sleep Forever
The Jesus and Mary Chain aren't just a band from the 80s who wrote "Just Like Honey" and had awesome haircuts, they are also an entire genre of music...or you'd think they were based on the amount of bands who have ripped them off the last 25 years. Crocodiles do it a lot better than most.

10. Best Coast - Crazy For You
summer music by chicks who just wanna smoke pot and go to the beach. good vibes rock and roll.

(BONUS pick) The Black Ryder - Buy The Ticket, Take The Ride
sounds like Mazzy Star. i loved Mazzy Star.

(double BONUS pick) Surf City - Kudos
all the best indie pop comes out of New Zealand. The Clean, the Verlaines, The Chills, Tall Dwarfs, Shocking Pinks, and now you can add Surf City to the list.

i’m sure i’m forgetting something i got this year that i really enjoyed. but anyways that’s my boring ass mostly indie rock favorite records of 2010.

Ranking The Top 10 Bowl Matchups I Will Actually Want to Watch

2010-12-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

1. Auburn vs. Oregon in the BCS Championship

duh. Auburn all the way.

2. Arkansas vs. Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl

i have a feeling that if Ohio State is EVER gonna beat an SEC team then this is their best chance yet. if the Hawgs win then i fully expect Petrino to weasel his way out of Arkansas and onto a bigger stage (assuming Miami hasn't hired a coach yet).

my early lean is on the Buckeyes.

3. Alabama vs. Michigan State in the Capital One Bowl

Saban vs one of his old teams, Michigan State. 1 team that started the year thinking they were a lock to repeat as champs vs. the most surprising 1 loss team in the country that will have a huge chip on it's shoulder after getting left out of the BCS. this is the best non-BCS matchup of all.

if Bama's players are actually focused and not thinking about their draft stock then i think the Tide takes care of business.

4. LSU vs. Texas A&M in the Cotton Bowl

the hottest team in the Big 12 vs. LSU in the Jerry Dome. this could be a preview of a future SEC rivalry game whenever the hell the Big 12 minus 2 finally dies and A&M jumps into the South Eastern Conference.

i think A&M could knock off LSU, but why would you ever pick against Les Miles?

5. Boise State vs. Utah in the Las Vegas Bowl

this is a matchup i've wanted to see for the last few years. the two most successful non-BCS schools of the BCS era vs. one another to let us know who is the best upstart program in the land. this game comes a few years too late for me, especially since Utah is now off the big leagues as a member of the Pac 12 and Boise State is stepping in to take the Ute's place as the Mountain West's top dog.

Boise is the better team and will probably want to send a message to the country with an epic beatdown.

6. South Carolina vs. FSU in the Chick-Fila bowl

Ol' Ball Coach vs. his old rival FSU! sure, Bobby isn't on the sidelines anymore...but it's hard not to imagine that Spurrier doesn't wanna put a whooping on FSU anyways. old hates die hard.

7. Georgia Tech vs. Air Force in the Independence Bowl

for 80s fans this is the game for you! who isn't pumped about a matchup of the two best option attack teams in the country?! the over/under for total passes thrown in this game is probably around 13. this game will be about 1 hour long and full of option madness. i can't fucking wait! Tech all the way.

8. Mississippi State vs. Michigan in the Gator Bowl

this game intrigues me because i'm not sure if either team's headcoach will even be coaching in this game. assuming RichRod isn't fired and Dan Mullen doesn't bolt for Miami then we could see a really great showdown. i'm interested how Denard Robinson can do vs. a SEC defense. my thought is pretty damn well. i'm leaning with Michigan here even though i know they won't be able to stop Mississippi State from scoring at will. i think Robinson has a big day and gets his Heisman candidacy for next year cranked up.

(a random thought) what if RichRod does get fired and Michigan is able to hire Jim Harbaugh from Stanford? will Denard stick around and try and play in a pro style offense or will he transfer and sit out a year. if he does transfer i would hope the coaches at some school called Auburn would like to show him a reel of Cam Newton's Heisman material.

9. The Rose Bowl and Orange Bowl

i have basically the same feeling about both of these games. i will watch them, but these aren't matchups i want to see. i really would rather see Stanford vs. Wisconsin and Va Tech vs TCU. i think both of those would be better more competitive matchups, instead i'm expecting blowouts by both Wisconsin and Stanford.

10. Notre Dame vs. Miami in the Sun Bowl

not really a very compelling match up but still i was such a big fan of this rivalry when i was a kid and always rooted for the U to take out the Irish. i will be watching out of nostalgia's sake.

10-2!!!!

2010-12-05T20:05:00.000-08:00

The Dirty Birds are like good at winning close games or something. between the Falcons and Auburn this has been the season that's tried to push me into cardiac arrest. dare i believe both my NCAA and NFL football teams could win championships in the same season?! it makes me feel greedy, but if this actually happens i may just have to change the name or my blog altogether.

Top 25

2010-12-05T15:20:00.000-08:00

Auburn jumped Oregon to #1 in the AP after crushing South Carolina. good to see some sportswriters have finally started paying attention. regardless being 1 or 2 doesn't matter, it just matters that Auburn is finally going to get to play for a BCS National Championship for the 1st time ever. that still hasn't sunken in yet. i am going to watch that stupid selection show just to make sure it is in fact real.

anyways, here's my top 25

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25

1. Auburn
2. Oregon
3. TCU
4. Wisconsin
5. Standford
6. Ohio State
7. Michigan State
8. Arkansas
9. LSU
10. Virginia Tech
11. Oklahoma
12. Nevada
13. Boise State
14. Missouri
15. Alabama
16. Oklahoma State
17. Texas A&M
18. Nebraska
19. Utah
20. South Carolina
21. UCF
22. West Fucking Virginia
23. Mississippi State
24. Florida State
25. Hawaii

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

2010-12-04T16:30:00.000-08:00

Did you ever believe this would happen?

Just one more win and we all get to live forever! War Eagle! War Damn Eagle! War Motherfucking Damn Eagle Forever and Ever and Ever!

I am getting wasted tonight!

SEC champs! Heisman Trophy! Maybe a National Title. It is great to be an Auburn Tiger!

please let me get what i want this time

2010-12-03T11:41:00.000-08:00

my name is Justin Stephen Robinson. i was born August 2nd, 1978 in the shitty northern Alabama town of Fort Payne during the reign of terror of Bear Bryant. the year i was born Bama were champs and even early baby pictures depict a young Justin in Alabama baby clothes given to my folks by my mother's family...all die hard Tide fans. to be honest the entire northern part of Alabama were Tide fans...well most of it, my father on the other hand being a contrary sort of person had long ago pledged his allegiance to Auburn University. like any good son, i took up my father's team as my own as soon as i was old enough to understand what the fuck football was.

luckily for me becoming aware of football also happened to coincide with some guy named Bo Jackson coming to Auburn and things like SEC championships and beating the Tide on a regular basis. my first live Auburn game was the 1987 season opener where the Tigers destroyed Texas. that moment pretty much made me a Tiger for life.

in 1989 i can remember crying from happiness when Auburn defeated Bama for the 4th time in a row and giving them a win at Jordan-Hare for the 1st time the game was ever played there. that might always be my favorite Auburn moment of all time. i was still young and not yet broken and jaded from years of disappointment to understand just how special that moment was. but as i got older disappointment is what i learned to expect as a fan of Auburn. i always remembered my dad being pissed about Auburn being screwed in favor of Miami in 1983 but i didn't care about such things. well of course probation came along and robbed me of the 1993 season and any chance at a national title. it wasn't fair. flash forward to 2004 and another crushing blow. now i could relate to the old man. rooting for Auburn meant you'd win some big games...but in the end you are gonna get fucked by the Powers That Be.

when the Tuberville era came crashing down and Alabama re-established themselves i began to resign myself to the fact that i was probably NEVER going to see Auburn win a national championship. it just didn't seem even remotely likely.

...and yet here we are, just one more win away from having a shot for a BCS title. and that's all i've ever wanted for Auburn. a motherfucking chance. if they lose to Oregon then so be it...but just give them the chance. some of my friends have been quick to tell me that if Auburn wins the title then it's probably going to be taken away, something i could honestly give a fuck about. you can strip away a title but you can't take away my memories. just give me some memories Auburn. that's all i'm asking.

ESPN, The New York Times, Dan Mullen, and that douchebag at Foxsports.com can all eat a bag of dicks

2010-12-01T11:35:00.001-08:00

LOOK WHO IS ELIGIBLE UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

give the man his Heisman trophy, Maxwell Award, and all that other shit cause our boy Camzilla is clear to play.

FUCK YES.

regardless a big fuck you to Cam's dad. what a dick.

TOP 25

2010-11-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

1. Auburn
2. Oregon
3. TCU
4. Wisconsin
5. Stanford
6. Ohio State
7. Arkansas
8. Michigan State
9. Oklahoma
10. LSU
11. South Carolina
12. Nebraska
13. Virginia Tech
14. Oklahoma State
15. Missouri
16. Nevada
17. Boise State
18. Alabama
19. Texas A&M
20. FSU
21. Utah
22. Mississippi State
23. West Virginia
24. Maryland
25. Hawaii

also of note, TCU is leaving the Mountain West to join the Big Least. looks like Boise is still gonna be going undefeated every year. so the Mountain West is losing BYU, Utah, and TCU and they are adding Hawaii, Nevade, Boise State, and Fresno State. and why aren't they just calling themselves the WAC? all this realignment shit is stupid. the Moutain West went from up and coming conference that had a strong argument for a BCS at large bid to a less shitty version of the WAC. i'm sure Boise State is thrilled with their move. if i was the Mountain West i'd make a play for Houston, SMU, and Tulsa...if only to make their league at least competitive.

i am still in joyous shock

2010-11-27T01:50:00.001-08:00

i just woke up in the middle of the night and had to check espn.com just to make sure what i witnessed was real. after watching Bama go up 21-0 i contemplated going shopping rather than witnessing my Tigers be annihilated on national tv...but this 2010 Tiger squad has proven again and again that they WILL NOT LOSE. do we even doubt that this is finally Auburn's year to win it all? i don't see how you can not think this is a team of destiny. War Damn Eagle, indeed.

and now some random images from the greatest Iron Bowl of all time.

GREATEST IRON BOWL EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-26T15:39:00.000-08:00

well that turned out pretty good.

BEST COMEBACK WIN I CAN EVER REMEMBER.

BEST IRON BOWL WIN FOR AUBURN THAT I CAN REMEMBER.

CAM NEWTON IS A GOLDEN GOD.

now i am getting fucking wasted.

oh well

2010-11-26T12:57:00.001-08:00

fucking Bama.

it's not thanksgiving unless the Lions lose.

2010-11-25T14:57:00.000-08:00

For all my bitching and complaining about why being a Falcons fan sucks , I must take this time of the year to be be thankful I wasn't born a Lions fan. What a fucking bummer it must be to have your franchise get it's ass kicked for all the nation to see on a yearly basis. I'd like to think Stafford, Johnson, and Suh are gonna turn things around in the Motor City but that's probably wishful thinking.

The Most Important Iron Bowl Ever?

2010-11-24T12:40:00.000-08:00

The answer to that question would be a big fat Yes if you are an Auburn fans. This one isn't about winning the first ever game at Jordan-Hare, or setting an all-time win streak vs. Alabama, but this would is going to decide if Auburn plays for it's first national title since 1958.

If the Tigers lose to Bama you'd think strength of schedule would count for something, but thanks to a Yankee Media crush on Boise State and an SEC hangover by the national media (not to mention the chance Auburn might have a title stripped from them at some point in the future) it's pretty safe to say Auburn needs to be 13-0 after these next 2 games. Is that fair? Fuck no. LSU was gifted a trip to the title game when they lost to Arkansas at this point in the season. Oklahoma got to play for the title after losing their fucking conference championship! (Not to mention the overall sketchiness of them getting in over Texas a few seasons back). But hey, we are Auburn, nothing ever comes to us easy. So just keep winning Tigers and everyone else can kiss your ass.

This Is Not Going To End Well

2010-11-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

being someone who has suffered from depression most of his adult life i get rather annoyed when i watch the ESPN talking heads rail on Vince Young and his lack of maturity and his lack of mental toughness. i think it's pretty obvious that the dude suffers from some form of depression and yet the NFL (like most super macho things) doesn't confront problems like that and instead wants to label the guy a quitter. dude needs to get help, not have his coach throw him under the bus constantly.

on a related note, Why the fuck is Jeff Fisher considered some untouchable among the NFL coaches? the Titans have been to 1 Super Bowl over a decade ago and never really been consistent playoff team ever. the fact that his ass isn't on the hotseat is sort of bullshit. if i was the Titans owner i'd be getting rid of Fisher and not Vince after this season.

Hey, who is Auburn playing this week anyways?

2010-11-23T09:01:00.001-08:00

so you may or may not have heard this 800 times the last week or so, but for the 3rd time in a row the Iron Bowl will feature an undefeated national title contending school from the great state of Alabama...yet this time it's the boys in blue who wear the target on their chest. Auburn comes into the game needing just two wins to get to Arizona...that's it. a 2 game season. they are lead by an unstoppable QB crippling in Nick Fairly, a tandem of talented runningbacks, a senior offensive line, and the best player to put on the AU helmet since Pat Dye was paying Bo Jackson. THIS IS THE REASON WE LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL. An Iron Bowl for the ages.

i will admit that i DO wish Bama hadn't lost to LSU and that this game was for EVERYTHING for both teams, but i guess it's comforting that at worst the Tigers will be able to play for the SEC Championship and a trip to the Sugar Bowl (likely to face off against Ohio State).

Well, They Can't Take Cam's Virtual Heisman Away

2010-11-19T11:38:00.000-08:00

i just finished up my regular season on NCAA 2011 with Auburn by destroying the Florida Gators in the SEC Title Game (take that Urban Meyer) giving my virtual Tigers a perfect 13-0 record as they get ready for the BCS title game (vs. Oregon, no less. EA Sports Knows!!!). Virtual Cam is pretty much just as awesome as Real Life Cam...but with even more retarded stats. 3187 yards passing and 35 touchdown combined with 1725 yards rushing and 34 touchdowns (not to mention i had 20 touchdowns with Dyer and 11 with McCalebb).

Crushing opponents in a pretend reality has been a nice distraction from actual frightening reality. Now off to kill the Ducks and get started recruiting for next season.

Bad News is coming...most likely tomorrow.

2010-11-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

You've been warned.

FUCK

2010-11-17T17:44:00.000-08:00

i think i'm just gonna stop going on the internet. forever.

Georgia Fans

2010-11-15T01:40:00.000-08:00

Biggest Pussies Ever or Biggest Pussies Possible?

Having spent the majority of my 32 years in the state of Georgia surrounded by Dawgs fans I can say with some level of expertise that they are a miserable and unlikeable bunch. Fuck this mutual respect bullshit between the two schools. Georgia fans can eat a dick. Of all the Big Six in the conference they have the least passionate, least interested, least involved fans. All most of them care about is getting drunk or going to St. Simon's. Watching their program go to shit has been almost as enjoyable as Auburn's undefeated season (no matter how it all turns out.)

You'd think based on the amount of crying coming out of Athens this weekend that Auburn jumped the Georgia team getting off the bus and beat them with lead pipes. Auburn is a dirty team? Hey, we might pay our players but at least one of our runningbacks didn't threaten to put a sex tape of a girl on the Internet to get out of paying her 500 dollars back.

Fuck Georgia, I hope Tech kills them and sends Mark Richt out as a loser.

maybe they'll find a coach who knows how to beat Florida...like Tommy Tuberville.

Top 25

2010-11-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Auburn
2. Oregon
3. Boise State
4. TCU
5. LSU
6. Wisconsin
7. Standford
8. Nebraska
9. OK State
10. Ohio State
11. Alabama
12. Michigan State
13. Arkansas
14. Oklahoma
15. Mizzou
16. Va Tech
17. South Carolina
18. Texas A&M
19. Nevada
20. USC
21. Mississippi State
22. Utah
23. NC State
24. FSU
25. Iowa

WAR DAMN EAGLE

2010-11-14T07:20:00.001-08:00

No matter what happens, it sure feels good to beat those fucking Dawgs. The amount of bitching and crying coming out of Athens right now will bring me comfort and joy for months even if the NCAA takes the T-Bird away.

Cam Newton 4ever!

Hey Augusta Friends! Next Friday

2010-11-12T09:57:00.000-08:00

5 bands, 5 bucks. Turf War, The Agenda, Grape Soda, Mermaids, & Five Eight. a night of rock and roll mayhem in the Garden City.

Dear Auburn, Win One For Me

2010-11-12T09:47:00.001-08:00

a world of shit hangs over Auburn right now but none of that matters tomorrow. just beat those fucking Bulldogs. 4 fucking years is too damn long.

Thank You

2010-11-11T11:51:00.001-08:00

have a happy and safe Veteran's Day

a random thought about Camgate

2010-11-11T09:59:00.001-08:00

(i just posted this on WarblogEagle but figured i should post it here too)

this has nothing to do with Newton being guilty or not...

is it just me or is ESPN's overzealous reporting in the Cam Newton saga seem to be a reaction to the fact it wasn't the WWL but some bloggers who broke the Reggie Bush and Brett Favre scandals? actually what's the last big story you can remember ESPN actually breaking on their own? i think all you have to do is read the dozen or so stories that they've posted on ESPN.com the basically just recite the exact same info over and over again (minus any of the contradictory reports against their information) and you start to get the feeling that ESPN is making this THEIR story no matter what. this isn't me saying they've created a conspiracy against Cam Newton but i think they really feel that once they got wind of the investigation that they were gonna make it their top priority to be at the center of the story.

for some humor, click here.

it's as if Jack Kirby could see my future.

2010-11-10T13:59:00.001-08:00

well if anything can be said about this scandal it's that it awoke the anger and hate inside me that had been dying down this year.

I also root for the Falcons, so at least i've got that going for me.

2010-11-10T13:11:00.000-08:00

lost in my glee (which has now turned into panic and dread) about the 2010 Auburn Tigers is the fact my Atlanta Falcons are also in first place and looking like a real Super Bowl contender. with Atlanta taking care of Tampa Bay and giving themselves a little breathing room...not to mention the fact the 3 toughest games on their schedule (Ravens, Packers, Saints) are ALL at home. at 6-2, it's hard to imagine that Atlanta finishes worse then 10-6 with a wild card spot...but with games against the Rams, Seahawks, Panthers (twice) and those home games (where the Falcons have been nearly unbeatable) 12-4/ the divsion title/ and a 1st round bye is a very real chance. hell, 12-4 might just get you best record in the NFC this year...and if Atlanta wants to make it to the Super Bowl then they NEED homefield advantage. there's no way i want to see Atlanta taking a trip to New York or Philly for the NFC title game, because that sort of thing normally ends ugly for the Dirty Birds.

at the beginning of the year i thought Atlanta would win the division...but my optimism usually turns to shit once i see the Falcons play a few times. i thought losing to the Steelers in overtime (minus Rapey Cocklessburger) was a sign of bad things to come, but the Birds have been pretty solid ever since. the sluggish game vs the 49ers and the ass kicking by the Eagles aside, this team looks just as Super Bowl ready as anyone else in the NFC. they've got an elite wide receiver, a great tandem of running backs, a good/tough offensive line, a defense that can get after the QB, and Matt Ryan, although not putting up the MVP type numbers i was hoping for) is a solid quarterback.

a little bit more about Matt Ryan. my belief that he was going to be the next guy to join the elite ranks of NFL QBs had died down a good bit, i'm more of the opinion now that he's better than MOST starters in the NFL. if i'm giving him a fair ranking then i'd put him around number 10 in the league, right now. Peyton, Brady, Brees, Big Ben, and Rivers being those 5 elite guys, Rodgers, Schaub, Flacco, Sanchez, and Eli being all closer to his level...and if i'm being totally honest, i think i'd take Ryan over any of those next level guys (besides maybe Rodgers).

my team spent 200k on a national title chance and all we got was this lousy probation

2010-11-10T12:29:00.000-08:00

it feels like i'm the only Auburn blogger on the internet today

please ignore this sad bastard rant as it was made under the influence of drugs and sorrow.

after the twitter rumors hit that the NCAA was set to suspend Newton this afternoon (rumors that were later shot down) it made me long for the days of Tuberville. yeah, the dude couldn't get shit out of his offenses, but cheating was never an issue. sometimes you don't know what you got til it's gone.

remember when 2008 was considered the Season Of DEATH? well those are gonna feel like the good ole' days when the NCAA finally drops their Nuke on the Auburn football program. After the NCAA's heavy handedness (that will probably result in the firing of everyone with even the slightest connection to this team) it could be a long dark winter from which it may take a decade or so to emerge. fuck, that'll put me in my 40s by the time Auburn will be competitive again. whatever sanctions USC got, Auburn's will be twice as bad...if not 10 fold.

at this point i don't give a shit if Newton did or didn't get paid, i just don't want the Tigers to get caught. that's really all i am asking. i could give a fuck about ethics when it's my team.

when you start to believe your team's best case scenario is that you get away with everything this season and it takes 3 years or so for the NCAA to punish you, then you know you have a warped mind.

but honestly, i just really hope it isn't true...but it's really hard to believe when bullshit just keeps rolling down the hill.

Fuck College Football.

how many more Cam Newton stories do you think will come out before the UGA game?

2010-11-10T01:34:00.000-08:00

Mississippi State sure has a lot of unnamed sources, don't they? In all of Fox Sports, The New York Times, and ESPN's reports about Newton I've yet to see them report that John Bond admitted on a radio show that he never actually talked to Kenny Rogers...nor have they mentioned a report that charges were never brought before the Florida Student Council...or even mentioned that leaking that info was illegal. But you know, BIG STORIES, don't come with retractions when juicy gossip is more interesting.

Anyways, today's fun new info claims that the Newtons DID get paid by Auburn and talked about it on the phone. Did anyone record these conversations? Can we just stop saying "unnamed sources" and call these people what they really are? Aka Mississippi State boosters. Oh well. I guess that means Auburn is gonna be getting investigated soon.

I'm not naive enough to think none of this is true, I'm more hopeful than most of it isn't true for the sake of my college football fandom, cause I've said it to everyone I'm friends with, if Auburn gets in any major trouble and gets put on serious probation that cripples the program and has us looking at 6th place finishes in the West and never ending losing streaks vs the Tide, LSU, and UGA...well then fuck it! I'm out. There are other things in the world that I can love that also make me miserable, like women and music.

whatever

2010-11-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

So, at this point I'm just waiting for the story to come out that says Newton runs a dog fighting ring out of his apartment....

News broke last night that when Cam was at Florida he apparently was caught cheating on tests. So he basically had the same level of commitment to school as I did at 18. How does this relate to him as Auburn's QB? It doesn't. Does it make him guilty of taking any money from Auburn? No. Does it just stir up more shit and make it even less likely that he wins the Heisman? Yeah, probably.

But really it just tells me that Urban Meyer is one sour grapes/bitter motherfucker that he doesn't have the best toy in college football to play with and he's gonna do his best to throw a monkey wrench into Auburn's season. Seriously, fuck that guy. What are the chances this story ever would've come out if he'd stayed with the Gators or gone on to play for Dan Mullen? None/zero/never. When's that brain cyst gonna kill Urban, anyways?

getting to watch the best 200K anyone ever spent, in person, was pretty rad.

2010-11-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

my only trip to the Plains this season was last Saturday during Auburn's complete destruction of Chattanooga. getting to see Cam Newton in person (even against a lousy opponent) was a treat. he really does look like someone taught a Grizzly how to run and throw with a football in it's paw. i only have hazy memories of Bo Jackson at Auburn. most of my love for him came on Sundays and Royals games on TV...but Auburn has had plenty of great players during my lifetime that i've had to opportunity to watch live. from Brent Fullwood and Tracy Rocker, to Takeo Spikes, to Dameyune Craig, to Rudy Johnson, to Jason Campbell, Cadillac Williams, and Ronnie Brown. none of those players seemed as exciting and dominate as Cam Newton. if Auburn and Newton can stay out of NCAA trouble, and 2010 wasn't the year the program got destroyed for 200K, then i'm willing to call Cam Newton the 2nd greatest Auburn football player behind Bo. And if Newton can take us to the promised land and a BCS championship then i'm willing to give him #1 in my heart...even if we only have him for a year.

I'll be at the Auburn game this weekend.

2010-11-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

well i picked an interesting week to make my first trip to Auburn this year.

if you see me, this offer stands.

I blame Marvin Austin, The New York Times, ESPN, Bammers, A Talking Snake, and Scientology

2010-11-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

so yeah, what was looking like a great season quickly turned into another reason why i fucking hate the media, bloggers, being a fan, pro sports, the NCAA, greed, and humans.

if Auburn is guilty then what can you say? fuck it. i'm fucking done with college football. i have other interests and rooting for Auburn has always been more about having something to talk to with my dad than anything else. my dad likes movies too. we can talk about that.

if the Newtons did nothing wrong, then yeah this is just another reason for me to hate ESPN (yes i get that they are just reporting a story. i am not an idiot, just an irrational human being like everyone else). oh yeah...just for the hell of it, screw Orson.

at this point all i care about is beating Georgia and Alabama. no matter what happens in the aftermath. i hope the team can rally around Cam and kick some ass the rest of November.

being a college football fan is a stupid and pointless task sometimes. i'm just glad i'm too dead inside for this to ruin my day.

i think noted murderer and church burner, Varg, sums up my feelings best.

hey, at least the McRib is back.

Fucking Hell

2010-11-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

Well Bama fans are having a good night, I'm sure. This has been a crappy week. the local elections already had me down and now this. Ugghh.

I guess the main concern is did Auburn do anything wrong? My guess/hope would be no. Noone at Auburn gave Cam Newton any money and so the chance of being put on probation isn't an option. If that isn't the case and he was paid...WELL I GUESS I'M GOING TO JUST PRETEND COLLEGE FOOTBALL DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

The 2nd concern is if Newton will be declared ineligible after some kind of NCAA investigation. Which wouldn't seem likely to come during the season, which means we've still got our best player for the rest of the year.

I've already assumed Newton would go pro after the season and with this cloud now hanging over his head it seems 99% more likely.

All in all this fucking sucks because even if Cam did nothing wrong this is going to be a story that is a distraction for the rest of the year and could end Newton's chances of winning the Heisman as well as hurt Auburn in the polls thanks to self righteous sport writers ready to convict a player and a team before any facts can be proven.

In the end; FUCK MISSISSIPPI STATE! and Urban Meyer.

Polls Polls Polls

2010-10-31T15:58:00.000-07:00

Auburn may not have the respect of the Sportswriters who are obssessed with giving Boise State their title show, but thankfully Hal 9000 and his soulless computer brethern know our Tigers are #1. And being a soulless machine myself, Auburn remains at the top of my pointless blog poll.

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Auburn
2. Oregon
3. Alabama
4. TCU
5. Boise State
6. Utah
7. Nebraska
8. Wisconsin
9. Standford
10. LSU
11. Ohio State
12. Oklahoma
13. Arizona
14. Missouri
15. Arkansas
16. South Carolina
17. Iowa
18. Michigan State
19. Mississippi State
20. Oklahoma State
21. Baylor
22. Virginia Tech
23. NC State
24. FSU
25. Oregon State

not that my poll matters...

2010-10-25T02:59:00.000-07:00

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Auburn Motherfucking Tigers
2. Oregon
3. Boise State
4. TCU
5. Missouri
6. Alabama
7. Michigan State
8. LSU
9. Utah
10. Oklahoma
11. Nebraska
12. Wisconsin
13. Arkansas
14. South Carolina
15. Ohio State
16. Who cares?
17. Who cares?
18. Who cares?
19. Mississippi State
20. Who cares?
21. Who cares?
22. Who cares?
23. Who cares?
24. Baylor
25. Navy

WE'RE #1 IN YOUR FLAWED FUCKING COMPUTER SYSTEM

2010-10-25T02:46:00.000-07:00

Auburn finds themselves the new #1 team in the country in the only poll that means shit, the BCS. So yeah, my anxiety level for Auburn's trip to Oxford this weekend is going to be skyhigh. I almost feel like Auburn's being set up to fail. I would've been happy with #2 and let. Oregon deal with that big target on their back when they go to Southern Cal on Saturday. But yeah, whatever, being #1 feels awesome. The BCS system is amazingly flawed, but if Auburn somehow makes it to the national championship, you won't hear me complaining about it anymore. Well, not this year anyways.

Some quick thoughts after week 8.
-Cam Newton is the greatest Auburn football player since Bo Jackson. If he wins us a national championship I am seriously considering getting a tattoo of a laptop with the #2 on it being carried by an Eagle...and under that eagle will be Urban Meyer looking up tearfully wishing he still owned the laptop. (This is the sortqa thought pattern the enters one's mind after several beers and a pot brownie or 5.
-Michael Dyer is going to be fucking awesome to watch these next couple of years. When Cam jumps to the NFL and breaks all our hearts we can at least take comfort in the fact we are gonna have the best runningback in the SEC next season.
-I really hope the Falcons draft Nick Fairley.

3 (real) games left. The one that worries me the most is vs. those suddenly dangerous looking Dawgs. But no looking ahead because this is soooo the kind of game Houston Nutt is known for fucking up his opponent's dreams. I don't care if Auburn wins by 2 points or 200 next week, just survive and move on.

I Believe? Sorta.

2010-10-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

my eyes are still fucking bleeding from that scoring orgy. that was like watching a game of Madden between me and my old roomate. you just knew the 1st team to commit a turnover was gonna lose because punting wasn't really in the playbook.

so yeah Auburn dropped a million points on Arkansas. awesome. stoked. but they also gave up half a million points in the process and were helped out a good deal on some questionable replay calls. i feel great about the win, in that Auburn won, but i am still not 100% sure i can believe in this team...but that's sort of been my approach to the 2010 Auburn Tigers all season. i went into the year saying we would win 10 games and go to the Capital One Bowl. and up til now i STILL believe that will happen at the very least. the words BCS Champs didn't and still haven't entered my brain. when your team's defense is that fucking shitty and you are that reliant on 1 guy (aka Newton) then it's just hard to see how we can keep possibly beating good teams.

but then there is the part of my brain that says, fuck that! we are totally going undefeated, winning the national title, cam newton is winning the Heisman, kiss our asses, we are the champs!!!

but i really don't let that come out too much, mostly i am still cautious of this squad. every week i tell my friend Mike (a noted Alabama fan) that the Tigers are gonna lose this week. i say things like, "well if i HAD to pick a loss, then i'm okay with this one." but with LSU, that is not the case. going into the year i had 4 games ranked in order of how bad i wanted Auburn to win. they were UGA, LSU, BAMA, & Arkansas...in that order. but i just can't let myself believer Auburn can win them all. call it 32 years of rooting for a team that always seems to screw themselves or get screwed at some point in the year. i'm just not comfortable thinking my team is a champion (you can obviously blame the Braves, Falcons, and Hawks for my pessimistic attitude towards fandom).

but i WANT to believe in Auburn. i NEED to believe in Auburn....because i think we can all be totally honest with ourselves and say that THIS IS THE BEST CHANCE AUBURN IS GOING TO GET AT A BCS TITLE ANYTIME SOON. i know you guys are all thinking it.

THE AUBURN TIGERS 2011 DOOMSDAY SCENARIO:

next year Auburn is going to be minus our two best defensive players in Josh Bynes and Nick Fairley (so gone to the NFL) plus a number of other valuable members of the trash heap that can't stop anything. we might be looking at a bunch of freshmen and sophomores out their getting lit up next year.

we also will have to replace 4 out of 5 offensive linemen with a bunch of redshirt freshmen, junior college transfers, and guys converted to linemen...not exactly something that has me sleeping easy.

ole' Gustav is so fucking gone after this year that it makes me wanna cry. with the way he turned Auburn from a laughing stock offensively in the SEC to one of the top 5 units in the country, there is no fucking way he's sticking around 1 more season. besides Jim Harbaugh, he's probably gonna be the hottest coach in the country. and

if we lose him, do you really think Cam Newton might just take that leap to the NFL while his stock is up? i do. and so we go into '11 with the option of Barrett Trotter (who can't seem to stay healthy) or Clint Mosely (who was a 3 star recruit) or a true freshman.

not to mention we must replace our field goal kicker, will have serious lack of depth at tailback, and likely might lose Darvin Adams a year early to the draft. all in all if 2010 doesn't have a championship at the end of the tunnel, i'm not sure another is likely for at least another 3 or 4 years.

so no pressure Tigers, but YOU HAVE TO WIN NOW.

It's My Motherfucking Poll and I Will Blindly Rank My Team #1

2010-10-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Auburn (who needs a fucking defense?)
2. Oregon
3. Oklahoma
4. Boise State
5. TCU
6. LSU
7. Alabama
8. Utah
9. Michigan State
10. Oklahoma State
11. Missouri
12. Stanford
13. Wisconsin
14. Ohio State
15. Nebraska
16. FSU
17. Arizona
18. Arkansas
19. Iowa
20. Texas
21. West Virginia
22. Virginia Tech
23. Mississippi State
24. USC
25. South Carolina

So long, Bobby Cox

2010-10-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

Even though I mostly don't care about/and or like baseball anymore (which is always weird to think about considering I played it half of my life) I will always root for the Braves. And after spending my youth rooting for the most useless franchise in the majors, Bobby Cox came in and turned the laughing stock into a perennial contender. For all the shit people give Atlanta for only winning 1 championship how many teams wouldn't give anything to have that problem? I think the Cubs would trade us for that kind of failure anytime.

So thank you, Bobby. Thank you for making the Atlanta Braves something that made me miserable instead of something I didn't give a shit about.

SEC Backlash?

2010-10-11T05:49:00.000-07:00

In what kind of bizzaro world would you imagine there being 2 undefeated SEC schools at the midway point in the season who would BOTH be ranked lower than a school from the WAC & Mountain West? You'd think 4 straight BCS titles for the conference would earn a little more love for Auburn and LSU...but I get the sneaky feeling that there's not going to be an SEC program representing the league in the title game this year. I am starting to think voters wanna see anyone but a school from the deep south holding that crystal football...even if it means Ohio State gets to face off against the Boise State Smurfs in a battle of undefeated schools who didn't beat anyone worth a shit.

All I've heard this year is how the Big 10 is back and how the Pac 10 has more talent top to bottom than the SEC. It's like a bogus political mantra being repeated week after week on College Gameday until the voters start to believe it. Sure, Georgia and Tennesse both suck, but does that really mean the whole conference is down? LSU is the luckiest team in the history of ever....but a win is a win is a win. South Carolina finds themselves a legit contender but I still get the feeling noone believes in the 'Cocks. And Auburn might just be the quietest undefeated SEC team with a Heisman contender of all time.

All I can say is if Auburn somehow is able to win the SEC and has to settle for a Sugar Bowl while Boise and OSU duke it out for the national championship, I might just drive to Idaho and set the blue turf on fire.

Poll Damn Eagle

2010-10-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

take a mental picture, friends. Auburn finds themselves the top ranked SEC team at the midway point. hopefully it lasts. the fact Bama is still ranked higher than the Gamecocks is kinda lame, but i don't bow down to the AP and Coaches and so my top 25 goes as so...

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Oregon
2. Ohio State
3. Nebraska
4. Boise State
5. Oklahoma
6. Auburn
7. TCU
8. LSU
9. South Carolina
10. Alabama
11. Arkansas
12. Utah
13. Stanford
14. Michigan State
15. Oklahoma State
16. Missouri
17. FSU
18. Nevada
19. Arizona
20. Iowa
21. Wisconsin
22. Air Force
23. West Fucking Virginia
24. Florida
25. North Carolina State

Top 25

2010-10-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

A Lifetime of Defeat's Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. Boise State
5. Nebraska
6. TCU
7. Auburn
8. Oklahoma
9. LSU
10. Arkansas
11. Arizona
12. Utah
13. Florida
14. Michigan State
15. Miami
16. Iowa
17. Stanford
18. Michigan
19. South Carolina
20. Wisconsin
21. Nevada
22. Oklahoma State
23. Missouri
24. Northwestern
25. Air Force

Perfect Weekend

2010-10-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

Auburn Rolls

The Falcons win in comeback fashion to go to 3-1.

& the Braves sneak into the playoffs in Bobby Cox final year.

oh yeah, AND the Georgia Bulldogs fucking suck.

awesome.

as a bonus the weather is FINALLY of the light jacket wearing variety, therefor worth going outside again.

Top 25.... 1 month down

2010-09-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. TCU
5. Boise State
6. Nebraska
7. Florida
8. Wisconsin
9. Auburn
10. Stanford
11. LSU
12. Arizona
13. Oklahoma
14. Arkansas
15. Utah
16. South Carolina
17. Miami
18. USC
19. Iowa
20. Texas
21. Missouri
22. Michigan
23. Nevada
24. Oklahoma State
25. North Carolina State

Camzilla For Heisman

2010-09-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

where the hell is Cam Newton’s Heisman love? dude is easily the best player in the SEC right now. he’s single handedly beaten Clemson and South Carolina (with a little help from Dyer and the Defense).

sure Denard Robinson is exciting and Andrew Luck has NFL #1 pick written all over him, but beating Notre Dame isn't exactly the most difficult thing in the world to do…but then again Sportswriters tend to be a lazy bunch. Newton is one of the most dangerous player in college football right now....give him some love damnit!

4-0 and ranked in the top 10 BABY!!!!

2010-09-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

soooo. 2 schools from the state of South Carolina, multiple heart attacks, 897,000 uses of the word FUCK, and a whole lot of pretending that i wasn't gonna let myself get swept up in the Cam Newton hype....and we find our Auburn Tigers battle tested like a motherfucker. nothing has come easy for Auburn these last 2 (hell, really 3 weeks) but Auburn has figured out a way to win. 2 BIG comebacks against teams that'll more than likely be playing in bowl games shows that this ain't your Tommy Tuberville Tigers that tended to fold up the tent whenever they fell behind more than a touchdown. No, starting with last year's West Virginia comeback, this is a team that will not panic and just give up. they will fight their asses off and do whatever it takes to get the win. Do i really think Auburn is gonna challenge Alabama for the West this season? yeah, i fucking do. so with Auburn's remaining schedule there are only 3 real games that i don't see Auburn favored. Arkansas, LSU, and Alabama. LSU's offense is a broken down piece of shit. Arkansas will be a real test, Mallett is the real deal and those receivers scare me...but do you really think Arkansas can stop Auburn's running game? Me neither. and Auburn almost beat the Tide last seasons with a far less talented squad. if Auburn rolls into the Iron Bowl with a chance to claim the West title then all bets are off...i don't give a shit how fucking scary Bama looks.

Top 25

2010-09-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. Nebraska
5. TCU
6. Boise State
7. Texas
8. Florida
9. Arkansas
10. Wisconsin
11. Arizona
12. South Carolina
13. Stanford
14. Oklahoma
15. LSU
16. Auburn
17. Utah
18. Miami
19. Iowa
20. West Virginia
21. USC
22. Michigan
23. Nevada
24. Missouri
25. Oklahoma State

music for the drunk and lonely. the best kind.

2010-09-14T10:17:00.001-07:00

another Walkmen album. another record to get me through the winter. the most consistent band of the early 2000s New York indie boom has put out Lisbon today, probably their best album since Bows & Arrows (although to be honest i love all of them about the same). how these guys haven’t been more successful has always been of one of the great mysteries of the last decade. the Walkmen have done nothing to fuck up their young Dylan fronting a british post-punk band sound because smart bands don’t fuck with what works. if you are a fan then you will like it. if you aren’t a fan...well what the fuck is wrong with you?

When Men Were Gods

2010-09-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

Who had time to burn a Quran this weekend with all that awesome football?

2010-09-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

the best thing about the opening Sunday of the 2010 NFL season were those Ray Lewis Old Spice Commercials.

some other shit we learned:

Arian Foster is apparently a better NFL runningback than he was at Tennessee.

Darren McFadden CAN put up descent numbers for your fantasy football team as long as he's on your bench.

Vince Young is a better QB than any of the other guys drafted the same year as him.

No matter how much i want to believe in the Falcons, there only true purpose on Earth is to make me suffer.

Even when the Lions really win, they still end up with a loss.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Mike Williams is alive and scoring touchdowns in the NFL?!!?

That dog killer can still play some football, a little bit. (on a side note, how sick are you gonna be of hearing about the Quarterback controversy in Philly that ESPN is gonna ram down our throats all fucking season?)

Tony Romo is still overrated.

Thank Odin, God, and Allah that the NFL has returned.

2010-09-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

my vintage 1986 NFL Pro Bowl t-shirt. who owns a fucking Pro Bowl t-shirt? apparently this asshole does.

5 predictions for the NFL Season (that have nothing to do with the Falcons)

1. The Houston Texans will finally unseat the Colts in the AFC South

2. The Raiders will win 8 games.

3. Brett Favre will get hurt and actually miss a game this year, snapping his streak.

4. CJ Spiller is gonna win the NFL Rookie of the Year.

5. The Jets are NOT going to make it to the Super Bowl

i have this weird feeling it's gonna be 2007 all over again

2010-09-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

The next time you are bitching and whining about the way your team WON a game, stop and reflect on a team like Virginia Tech losing to James Madison.

A Lifetime of Defeats Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State
3. Oregon
4. Nebraska
5. Oklahoma
6. Florida
7. Texas
8. TCU
9. Boise State
10. Iowa
11. Wisconsin
12. Auburn
13. Arkansas
14. South Carolina
15. Arizona
16. Utah
17. Stanford
18. Michigan
19. Miami
20. Houston
21. Air Force
22. California
23. LSU
24. USC
25. West Virginia

Sound & Vision

2010-09-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

a random selection of awesome rock and roll pics via my other blog.

That Was Ugly, But I'll Take It

2010-09-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

with a lot of help from CamZilla, Auburn was able to beat those suddenly dangerous Cowbell ringing fools in Starkville and escape with a lucky 17-14 win. Newton, McCalebb, and Dyer were the offensive stars again and it looks like if the Tigers are gonna make any noise in the West this year it's gonna be on the legs of those two.

and HEY, looks like we kind of have a defense...sort of. Nick Fairley is turning into the defensive line beast that we knew we'd need to replace Coleman with. how many sacks does he have this season? like 12? other than the long drive to start the 2nd half and when the special teams fucked them on that fumble, Auburn's defense was able to keep State off the scoreboard. still there are too many yards being given up to think Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and even LSU won't be lighting it up.

but in the SEC a win is a win is a win, these days...so now it's time to get ready for some real tests with Clemson and South Carolina coming up next.

a confession:

you know, at almost no point in the game did i think Auburn was ACTUALLY gonna win this thing. i always love it when the Tigers prove me wrong. in the past this sort of performance against Mississippi State would've made me sick...but i feel like the Bulldogs are for real and will end up with a 7-5 record and an upset against LSU or Arkansas. I'm def not looking forward to Dan Mullen down in Starkville these next few seasons until he gets scooped up by some bigger program.

Fuck Thursday Night Football In It's Ear

2010-09-09T12:55:00.000-07:00

my anxiety meter for tonight's Auburn/Mississippi State Thursday Night Black Hole Of ESPN Doom is about as high as it could possibly be. from the moment this game was announced i was screaming "Upset!" inside my brain.

Why do Elite schools(and by elite i just mean team's with a ton of tradition/years of winning/not members of the Big East) ever fucking play on Thursday? why would you give up a Saturday game for some extra eyeballs on ESPN? is it really that great of a recruiting tool? is it really worth playing that game and losing? i understand that team's in the Big East built up their brand by playing this time slot...and it helped those schools...but Auburn is hardly West Virginia, South Florida, or Louisville. anyways it's too late now, but i really wish the Tigers would avoid this game at all costs. i can't remember Florida, LSU, Tennessee, Georgia, or Alabama playing on Thursday. no, it's always South Carolina or Vandy. is that the company we wanna be keeping?

Former USC Running Back To Be Stripped Of His Giant Useless Paperweight aka Heisman

2010-09-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

it took them long enough. wait, not that one? really?

seriously taking Reggie Bush's Heisman trophy away might be the stupidest/most pointless thing that has ever happened in college football...and THAT is saying something.

According to ESPN it's Michael Dyer's Show At Auburn

2010-09-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

can't link to the post, but basically the true freshman is getting an elevated role in the offense this week, which is to be expected considering he easily looked like the best runningback for the Tigers.

1st week polls out.

2010-09-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

in the polls that matter Auburn remains in the 20s. the AP has the Tigers ranked 21st and the Coaches put Auburn in a tie for 20 with Utah.

The Admiral Would've Warned Houston Nutt That It Was A Trap

2010-09-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

one of my favorite moments from a rather excellent 1st weekend of college football was the Ole' Miss/Admiral Ackbar commercial.

1 Week Down

2010-09-07T06:13:00.001-07:00

just in case you were wondering...yes, Nike does want to rape your eyeballs.

A Lifetime of Defeat's Top 25

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio State
4. Miami
5. Boise State
6. Nebraska
7. Texas
8. TCU
9. Oklahoma
10. Florida
11. Georgia
12. Virginia Tech
13. Auburn
14. Florida State
15. Arkansas
16. Iowa
17. Georgia Tech
18. Wisconsin
19. Penn State
20. Arizona
21. USC
22. BYU
23. Utah
24. West Virginia
25. LSU