Friday, January 29, 2010

Glenn Hubbard. Snake Master.


this is so fucking awesome that i can't do this pic justice with silly words. bask in all it's glory. Glenn Fucking Hubbard.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Apologies for the early mockery. Too much time on my hands of late has me turning on my own kind...but if you hadn't figured out in 3 years that I am an asshole then you weren't paying attention.

*it should be noted that I was kidding. I DO think this shirt is funny...but I also hate it when people wear shit like this. But duh! I'm fucking cool. Cool kids are too cool for this kinda thing (please take that as a joke).

Vintage Barkley

Chuck with an Eagle (he probably thinks it's a hawk).

Chuck gettin' ready to ball out for the Tigers.

these picture remind me that Auburn is currently involved in some sport called Basketball? is this correct?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hey Athens

Friday, Feb 5th @ Go Bar. the Agenda and American Cheeseburger will be rocking the place for free. come out and have some fun.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Wow, i am actually excited about this Super Bowl

First of all, this is the first time in years that I can actually say I am excited about this Super Bowl matchup. The two best QBs in the NFL, two explosive offenses, two teams I don't loathe, a 1 seed vs a 1 seed (when was the last time that actually happened?), and no New York Jets.

Thanks Peyton for putting me out of my misery. Having to watch the Jets play football brings back too many frustrating memories of watching boring Auburn teams who played great defense and had a useless QB win games. That shit is fine for college football but I wanna see some fucking offense in the NFL. Plus Mark Sanchez would have replaced Trent Dilfer as most undeserving Super Bowl QB....and I want Dilfer to wear his crown forever.

About the Vikings/Saints game: blah blah blah, bad call, blah blah blah, NFL overtime sucks, cry, cry, whine, bitch... dude the Vikings turned the ball over 80 fucking times. They didn't deserve to win that game. Plus would a douche like Favre actually getting what he wanted actually have made you feel good? Fuck him. I'd rather root for Drew Brees anyday.

And that takes us to who I will be rooting for in the Super Bowl....Go Saints! I have no great hatred for the Manningbot. He is the greatest QB of all time (as long as he's not facing a strong 3-4 defense) but as a supporter of my own long suffering NFL franchise I am obligied to root for a team who has never won over a team that gets plenty of love and attention from the league. Besides, in New Orleans can win a championship it makes me believe the Falcons might actually pull it off someday as well.

But really I just wanna see a good game.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Agenda - "Only The Young Die Young" EP

besides writing this blog (poorly) i also sing in a band (poorly) and my band recorded a 5 song demo EP back in November. it is of the punk garage rock variety as i am a guy who grew on a healthy diet of the Ramones.

1. black knees
2. danger, danger love!
3. i just wanna know your name
4. suicide city
5. only the young die young

if you give a fuck here's a link here to download, for free.

apparently some folks have had trouble with the divshare link. here's a megaupload link that might work better. download.


2010 schedule

Date Opponent Location
Sept. 4 Arkansas State @ Auburn
Sept. 9 Mississippi State in Starkville* (Thurs.)
Sept. 18 Clemson @ Auburn
Sept. 25 South Carolina @ Auburn
Oct. 2 Louisiana-Monroe @ Auburn
Oct. 9 Kentucky in Lexington
Oct. 16 Arkansas @ Auburn
Oct. 23 LSU @ Auburn
Oct. 30 Mississippi in Oxford
Nov. 6 Chattanooga@ Auburn
Nov. 13 Georgia @ Auburn
Nov. 26 Alabama in Tuscaloosa

as far as schedules go, that's about as easy as you are gonna get in the SEC. all the toughest games are AT Auburn (other than the Iron Bowl). i just asked a wizard and he told me that Auburn is looking at 10 wins next year. but that wizard told me they were gonna win the national title in 2006 and the SEC West in what the fuck does he know?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Fuck A Whole Lot Of Avatar Winning Best Picture

fuck that movie. fuck people who loved that movie and are going into depression because it isn't real (this is apparently an ACTUAL phenomenon). fuck the Foreign press.

Avatar sucks. it looks cool but it's a piece of shit. you are being tricked by special fx.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dear Peyton,

Please do us all a favor and not pull your usual chokejob in the playoffs and beat the fucking Jets so that I no longer have to watch their boring asses anymore. Please.


Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Non-BCS School Who Lost Your Coach,

Please do not hire my team's offensive coordinator to become your crappy team that noone cares about's new headcoach. That is all.

Thank You,


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Now I Really Hope USC Gets Put On Probation

i knew that douchebag Kiffin was gonna get the USC job. i bet that ESPN won't be killing him for ditching the Vols after one year like they would if he had ditched Ohio State after one season for the Trojans. i also heard them throw out the term "coming off a successful season at Tennessee", did i miss something? didn't they have the same record as Auburn during the regular season and then get manhandled in their bowl game?

you can't really blame Kiffin is the best job in the country. i had spent the Pete Carroll era actually enjoying USC. Carroll is a likeable coach and i am always fascinated by teams that just fucking dominate. but with an unlikable prick like Kiffin (WHO STILL HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING THAT PROVES HE'S A GOOD COACH) running the show, they are now on the hated list.

sucks for Tennessee, but in the long run it'll probably work out for the best for them.

but Vols fans seem to be taking this well.

good sign. but i woulda gone with something more like this:

and so it goes.

top 5 names who jumped into my head:
Butch Davis
David Cutcliffe
Chris Peterson
John Gruden (since they were so all about him last year)
and Mike Leach (just fucking do it Vols, bring the Pirate to the South)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Well Now I Know Who I Hope Wins the Superbowl

you know, this year i really haven't been rooting for a single team in these playoffs. it's so far been about which team i hate the most that i want to lose, more than who i actually would like to see win....but then someone sent me this video today and i think i've settled on who i wanna see win that Superbowl trophy.

Go Chargers.

I Laughed Out Loud, like totally.

EDSB is full of truth on this post.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

It'll Be Okay Tom...

sure Tom Brady just got his ass murdered by the Baltimore Ravens and had his team's corpse dumped in an abandoned building somewhere....but at the end of the day he is still going home to this:

Dallas Finally Figures Out How To Win a Playoff Game

it should have been so fucking obvious all this time to Jerry, all you have to do is get the Nuge to play "the National Anthem" and there's no way you could possibly lose a game.

uggh. a Cowboys victory means i have to hear about those assholes for another week. although, minus Romo, this is the least hateable Cowboys team i can ever remember. Demarcus Ware, Felix Jones, Jason Whitten, Miles Austin...those guys are all pretty rad. and there was a plus, they crushed the stupid ass Eagles (the team i hate even more than Dallas) and sent crybaby Donovan and that dog killing cocksucker backup QB home. so yeah, way to go Dallas. now lose next week.

also the conversation these two had probably wasn't too far off of this.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Some Dude Named Tuberville Got Hired At Texas Tech

never heard of him. somebody just told me he used to coach at Ole Miss.

OH WAIT! now i remember.

How the fuck are you gonna Win Forever in Seatle?

don't go Pete! it's fun having you in college football stealing all the recruits away from everyone else in the Pac 10.

if Pete Carroll is really leaving LA for the Seatle fucking Seahawks then USC must about to be going on some serious probation. why else the hell would you leave THE BEST JOB (yeah, it's better than Florida and Texas cuz you get to live in LA and Win Forever) in all of football? 7 million a year is a lot of cash, but seriously why would anybody wanna deal with that meatgrinder when you could live it up in the sun?

prediction: if Pete does go pro, Matt Leinart will be trying to get his agent to get him out of Arizona and into the Northwest....probably unlikely cuz it's a division rival, but still i could see it happening. also wanna bet the Saints might be willing to trade Reggie for a draft pick?

also who would replace Carroll at USC if they aren't on probation? Kiffin would be probably a stretch after just one year on the job...but it wouldn't shock me. my guess would be another former NFL coach like John Gruden...which would make me kinda sad since i think he's pretty good on MNF.

who would've guessed a year ago that Urban Meyer would retire/not retire and that Texas Tech, South Florida, and USC would all be lookin' for new coaches this offseason?

Well I Already Have One Loss Predicted For Auburn Next Year

so the Auburn vs Mississippi State game next year has been moved to a Thursday night ESPN game.

when will big time programs ever learn to JUST SAY NO! to Thursday Night!?

all it means is you are gonna lose to an underdog on national tv and get beat up in the press over it. leave Thursday night to the Big East, ACC, and the Vandys and South Carolinas. i want nothing to do with that blackhole of college football upsets.


Friday, January 8, 2010

THE FINAL POLL OF THE DECADE...even if i made it in this new decade

A LIFETIME OF DEFEATS TOP 25 of the 2009 Season

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Boise State
4. Texas
5. Ohio State
6. TCU
7. Cincinnati
8. Iowa
9. Penn State
10. Oregon
11. Nebraska
12. Georgia Tech
13. Virginia Tech
14. BYU
15. Pitt
16. Wisconsin
17. Utah
18. LSU
19. USC
20. Ole' Miss
21. Clemson
22. Miami
23. Central Michigan
24. Navy
25. All The SEC teams who won their bowl games

Thursday, January 7, 2010

somewhere someone is yelling "SEC Speed!"

sadly Matt Saracen couldn't lead the Dillon Panthers to a title.

instead he was killed by a wild elephant.

Who Wants To Get In On This Hot NFL Bust Action?

Snead is going pro? hahahahahahahahahaha. good luck with that pick for whatever NFL team is dumb enough to draft him. i see an Oakland Raiders uniform in your future, young Snead.

actually it probably wasn't the worst move in the world. this is a pretty weak QB class overall and with Jake Locker coming back for one more year, Snead could end up being the 3rd QB taken behind Jimmy Clausen and Sam Bradford. either way Ole Miss is gonna be the suck next year. so much for the Rebels becoming the NEW BIG THREAT in the SEC West. hey Ryan Mallett, i think you should go pro too.

"...A Fucking Football Team That Never Wins"

i thought i'd go ahead and note as a long suffering fan of the Atlanta Falcons that they finally posted back-to-back winning seasons for the first time ever. EVER!!!!! goddamnit, what a shitty fucking franchise. of course having their 2nd winning season in a row didn't mean shit cuz they missed the playoffs (those damn losses to the Panthers and Giants!) so yeah, all it really means is they get a lower draft pick. still i would like to believe if Turner and Ryan hadn't gotten hurt that Atlanta could've won 10 or 11 games. they had one of the hardest schedules in the league and posted a 9-7 record. they've got a lot of young talent, a legit QB (even though Ryan struggled a lot this year), and a good coach. with any luck winning seasons won't be a big deal in the future and the thought of winning a championship might just creep into my skull....if i could shake 31 years of being a pessimist out of it.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"It's Just Dances With Wolves...With Smurfs!"

not a football post, just something relevant in the world of pop culture. i saw Avatar on christmas with my family...holy shit! what a boring, trite, madlibs of a movie. the whole time i thought it was just a ripoff of Dances With Wolves....then i found this amazing piece of internet gold and thought i'd share.

spoiler alert.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Do Not Fuck With Boise

so much for TCU being more deserving of a shot at Alabama than Texas.

Boise State owns the fucking Fiesta Bowl and it owns your Mountain West and Pac 10 champs as well. any doubt in your mind that they'd beat Cincinnati or Ga Tech too if they got a shot at either of them? i think Florida will likely end the season ranked number 2, but if Boise isn't number 3 then it's a bunch of bullshit. way to go Smurfs!

so a quick question: who is the non-BCS school of the decade, Boise State or Utah? my vote is for the Smurfs.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Weirdest Bowl Game Ever or Weirdest Bowl Game Possible?

OMFG! That was about the shittiest great game I'm ever seen. It's hard to be happy about that win with the way Auburn tried to lose it in 100 ways. Again, those Big 12 refs and Big 10 homer announcers can eat a bag of dicks.

2010, way to try and give me a heart attack on day 1.

Fuck You Big 12 Refs

So many retarded bullshit calls. Fuck this game. Fuck this bullshit. Fuck 2009. Fuck Northwestern. Fuck stupid turnovers and penalties. Fuck all this fucking shitty game. Fuck nerds. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck football. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big 10 Homer Douchebags. reason #4 that i hate ESPN

Could these announcers be openly rooting harder for Northwestern to beat Auburn? I feel like this game might as well be on the Big 10 Network.

Also Auburn's habit of laying down and letting nerd schools hang around with them (and losing those games) is beyond infuriating.

I just want this season to finish up and 2010 to start.

Please Don't Steal My Laptop, I Need It For This Stupid Blog

Happy New Year, indeed Auburn fans. We got ourselves a legit QB for the 2010 season after Cam Newton officially commited yesterday. AWESOME! So yeah Auburn instantly becomes a possible SEC West contender just by landing the 5 star dual threat beast of a QB to run the Spread Eagle (it really never gets old saying that.)

Yes Cam Newton comes with some baggage, but honestly I could give a shit, he gives the Tigers a better shot of winning the next two seasons than we would've had. It also gives Rollison extra time to get his shit together or for Auburn to groom another QB in two seasons. Either way the Tigers enter 2010 without the biggest question mark of all hanging over their head for the first time in 2 years.

War Eagle.