Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Texas Tech = Fucking Stupid

George O'Leary killed a fucking kid and he's still coaching Central Florida. Mike Leach sticks a rich kid in a shed for a couple of hours and gets fired?! Are you kidding me?

Welcome back to the world of irrelevance, Texas Tech.

On the bright side, its another team for Tuberville to attempt to get hired by.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Suicide Watch (Outback Bowl), goodbye 2009 hello future.

so our season is coming to a close. Auburn rings in the New Year by playing in the Outback Bowl vs. a whatever Big 10 school, aka Northwestern. it's the first time the two schools have ever met, so that's always kinda neat. on paper Auburn should beat the Wildcats...but losing to inferior nerd schools has been Auburn's m.o. the last couple of seasons. Northwestern is essentially Kentucky or if you think the Tigers are just gonna roll out their helmets and SEC pedigree and walk out with an easy win then you probably killed way too many braincells New Year's eve.

fact: both of these teams have good offenses and shit defenses. so i'm guessing the scoreboard might explode.

this game means very little to me. i am glad Auburn is showing improvement and a bowl win is always nice for the seniors who are leaving but when it's not a big time matchup then it's not like anybody is gonna remember the score in 2 years anyways. i'm just ready for signing day. and still praying that noone sneak attacks the Tigers and steals our O.C.

anyways: a salute to Todd, Tate, Coleman, & all the other seniors who helped turn the program around after the Season of Death. we love you all and will miss you. good luck.

chance of tragedy: 7, it's a New Year's bowl game that Auburn is probably not going to be into nearly as much as Northwestern. anything is possible. but i think Auburn wins a shoot out 35-27

method of death: vaporized by weird nerd science

Yay for lowered-expectations!

So the Atlanta Falcons will officially not have a losing season! so that's a positive, still gotta win next weekend to give the franchise it's first ever back-to-back winning seasons. hooray mediocrity! i still can't believe this team lost to the Giants and Panthers. the Falcons should be fighting for one of those last playoff spots, not hoping to be 9-7 so they can feel like winners. fuck winners. i want a team that's competing for a Super Bowl.

not lost on me during the Falcons' savage ass beating of the Bills yesterday was the fact that Matt Ryan was going up against Brian Brohm...the guy i WANTED Atlanta to draft instead of Matt Ryan. let's just go ahead and say that i am made of fucking stupid.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Screw all this Urban Meyer crap

so wait, he's gonna come back when he feels better? i don't get it. fuck Florida. i want The U to dominate that state again.

if you haven't seen the ESPN film about the 1980s Miami Hurricanes yet then you are blowing it. that shit is fucking awesome. it made me download a bunch of 2 Live Crew songs and try and find my old Hurricanes bucket cap.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Holy Fuck

Urban Meyer is calling it quits. they are saying it's health reasons. total shocker. i wonder how bad Tuberville will want to try and get that job? hell even he could recruit in Florida.

fucking crazy.

top 3 names that jumped into my head...

Chip Kelly
Jim Harbaugh
Kyle Whittingham

Friday, December 25, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

That was a pretty fucking rad Christmas

winter 1995

the best Christmas present i ever got. Black, 1970 Plymouth Duster. aka my first car.

of note, buying a kid who just got his licence a car that can do 80 at the drop of a hat (and got up to 100 if i wanted to before it got all shaky and scary to drive) isn’t really the smartest thing in the world...but it’s pretty rad.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry X-Mas And Shit

i hope you guys all have a safe week and a better X-mas than Charlie.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Best Music Of 2009

10 Albums i haven’t deleted from my itunes yet

The Horrors Primary Colours
Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart Pains Of Being Pure At Heart
Yeah Yeah Yeahs It’s Blitz!
Japandroids Post-Nothing
Girls Album
Black Lips 200 Million Thousand
Smith Westerns Smith Westerns
Rowland S. Howard Pop Crimes
Pissed Jeans King Of Jeans

10 jams i really enjoyed in 2009

Phoenix "1901"
Crocodiles "I Wanna Kill"
The Horrors "Sea Within A Sea"
Crystal Stilts "Love Is A Wave"
Neon Indian "Deadbeat Summer"
Animal Collective "My Girls" (as much as i hate Animal Collective, i can admit that this is a pretty killer song)
The Big Pink "Velvet"
Bat For Lashes "Daniel"
Dinosaur Jr. "Over It"
Japandroids "The Boys Are Leaving Town"

2009: the year i became too old to give a fuck about music that i don't already like. which might explain why every newish band i listen to sounds like something i used to love in high school (The Horrors = My Bloody Valentine, Pains Of Being Pure At Heart = Shop Assistants/The Pastels, Crystal Stilts = Black Tambourine/ UK Dream Pop, Crocodiles = J&MC, etc...)

Monday, December 21, 2009

You're Welcome

just cuz...


Inglourious Basterds may have been my pick for BEST movie of 2009, but without a doubt my FAVORITE movie was Adventureland.

While America was busy watching Fast & Furious the weekend this movie came out, i was going to the Theater to see Adventureland...Twice. the last movie i saw twice was The Dark that's about as ringing an endorsement of a film as i can give it. besides any movie that opens with The Replacements "Bastards Of Young" is gonna have my love from the word go...if that movie actually turns out to be one of the best teen/young adult coming-of-age movies in years...well that's just a bonus.

Set in the summer of 1987, Adventureland is the story of James Brennan, a recent college grad with plans of spending his summer in Europe exploring the old world with his college roommate and having a transformative life experience before heading off to Grad school at Columbia. Unfortunately James learns that his summer plans and possibly his Ivy league future are in jeopardy when his parents spring on him that they've hit financial hard times and can't afford his trip or to pay for his rent in New York City next year...and so James must take the only job that his four years of comparative lit have made him qualified a carny at a shitty amusement park called Adventureland.

Oh yeah, and James is a virgin...the sort of plot point that would normally remind you of movies like American Pie or Super Bad (the director Greg Mottola's last film) know, over the top and laugh out loud raunchy teen comedies that are more fantasy than reality...but Adventureland is more in the realm of a Cameron Crowe movie, a little smarter, the laughs more subtle and relateable. Luckily James' virginity isn't part of some ridiculous quest or pact to lose it before x day or anything like that...instead its more of a way for us to understand that James is an intelligent, sensitive, over-thinker who is more interested in finding love than getting laid...a classic hopeless romantic whose wooing techniques are to talk about literature and make a girl a mixtape of his favorite "bummer songs" yeah, the same school that a lot of shy young men who ended up playing in indie rock bands or became writers graduated from. And so James is highly realistic in his awkward, slightly pretentious, and yet somehow self assured way.

When James begins working at Adventureland he meets Joel (smartass, Russian lit loving, misanthrope) who shows him the ropes, explaining to him that all the games are rigged and let's James know that he must never give away a Giant Ass Panda (the best prize at the park) as it will result in him losing his job. On his 2nd day some rednecks demand said Panda after cheating on a game and threaten him at knife point if he refuses to reward them...this is when we meet Em, who shows up saves his ass...setting into motion our little love story that is the heart of this movie. Later that night she gives James a ride home and the two silently listen to Husker Du's "i don't wanna know if you are lonely" on the car ride home, sharing some awkward yet knowing glances and smiles with one another...bonding over the mutual love of a great song.

Em is a NYU student working at the Park as an excuse to get away from her bitchy stepmother. she's smart, pretty, and emotionally screwed up...she's also having a secret affair with Connell (played by Ryan Reynolds), the park's older, very married, local musician whose claim to fame is that he jammed with Lou Reed once and tells James he's planning on moving out to LA and starting a new band soon. Things become more complicated when Em and James friendship starts to become something more when James kisses her after a night spent driving around listening to "pale blue eyes" (seriously, my favorite song of all time). and so this little love triangle of sorts creates most of our drama as Em becomes more and more depressed with her current situation with Connell as she begins to open herself up to James. this of course results in causing James a lot of angst before things finally come to a head in the whole Em, James, and Connell thing.

the plot isn't anything we haven't all seen before...young man coming of age falls in love with a girl who is afraid to fall in love...but the performances by Jesse Eisenberg (who is stealing some of Michael Cera's leading geek man thunder) and Kristen Stewart (who proves that she can actually act) are what make this worth seeing, as they are both 100% likeable and believable late teen/early 20s characters. it made me jealous that i'm not 20.

the rest of the cast is great too. Ryan Reynolds plays the washed up local musician Connell as a guy who is sort of resigned to his sad pathetic life and passes the time the only way he knows how by sleeping with younger girls just to get through the day...even if he's kind of a creep, he's also completely relateable. there's also the park's resident hottie Lisa P., who ends up becoming James backup plan to Em when she becomes flaky about their relationship. Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig of SNL play a married couple who run the park, with Hader supplying most of the most hilarious moments. then there's Frigo, the idiot kid from back home that's emotionally stuck in highschool who spends most of the film supplying crotch punches. and then finnaly there is Jole, played by Freaks & Geeks uber-nerd Martin Starr, who gets all the movie's best lines and steals every scene that he's in.

the real star of the film is the soundtrack though. i mean goddamn! you've got 80s college rock heavy weights (The Replacements "bastards of young" and "unsatisfied", Husker Du "i don't wanna know if you are lonely", The Cure "just like heaven", & The Jesus and Mary Chain "taste of cindy") that help to define our two main characters. some 70s punk (New York Dolls "looking for a kiss" & Nick Lowe "so it goes") and some choice 80s one hit wonder cuts (Crowded House "don't dream it's over" & The Outfield's "your love"). then the quest to use every single Rolling Stones deepcut ever in a movie is carried on with the inclusion of "Tops" (a personal fav). and finally we've got 3 Lou Reed/Velvet Underground cuts ("pale blue eyes", "here she comes now", & "satellite of love") that make up the heart of the movie...especially "Pale Blue Eyes" that is used perfectly to reflect James' longing for Em. there's also a reoccurring joke as the song "Rock Me Amadeus" is played constantly at the park that slowly drives our young heroes mildly insane.

the way this movie was marketed was as a teen gross-out comedy/follow up to Superbad pretty much insured that it was gonna fail at the box office...if you are a fan of Almost Famous, (the highly underrated) Thumbsucker, the teenage existentialists of Dazed & Confused, or the classic John Hughes films then you will love Adventureland too. a sweet, thoughtful, a little bit melancholy, coming of age and falling in love for the first time film that makes you long for the days when making a girl a mixtape was a big deal.

plus, Bill Hader rules.


without a doubt for me, the Best movie of 2009 was Inglorious Basterds.

sometimes it’s easy to forget why we all loved Tarantino in the beginning…what with him being so in love with himself, but for a movie geek he delivers the goods. every good Tarantino movie is like a really awesome mixtape. nobody genre blends better. by combining my two favorite action genres (the western/and the world war II adventure movie) QT delivered his most entertaining and accomplished movie since Pulp Fiction. it gave us one of the best villains in years with SS Col. Hans Landa (if he doesn’t win best supporting actor then the award then i will be shocked). it gave us the Bear Jew. it gave us HUGO FUCKING STIGLITZ. it gave us the Tavern scene. and most of all it gave me my crush of the year, Mélanie Laurent. thanks QT. you did good. real good.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The 2000-2009 Top 25


1. Miami 2001 (12-0) BCS Champs
2. USC 2004 (13-0) BCS Champs
3. Texas 2005 (13-0) BCS Champs
4. USC 2005
5. Oklahoma 2000 (13-0) BSC Champs
6. Auburn 2004 (13-0) SEC Champs
7. Florida 2008 (13-1) BCS Champs
8. USC 2003 (12-1) AP Champs
9. LSU 2003 (12-1) BSC Champs
10. Florida 2006 (13-1) BCS Champs
11. Ohio State 2002 (14-0) BSC Champs
12. Alabama 2009 (13-?) SEC Champ...and most likely national champ
13. Miami 2002 (12-1)
14. USC 2008 (12-1)
15. Utah 2004 (12-0)
16. Oklahoma 2004 (12-1)
17. Utah 2008 (13-0)
18. Texas 2004 (12-1)
19. UGA 2002 (13-1)
20. LSU 2006 (11-2)
21. Ohio State 2006 (12-1)
22. Oregon 2001 (11-1)
23. LSU 2007 (12-2) BCS Champs
24. Penn State 2005 (11-1)
25. Boise State 2006 (13-0)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

R.I.P. Chris Henry

when my friend Kenniebloggins and I started our fantasy football team, The Thug Apologists, 3 years ago we made our honorary team captain Chris Henry of the Bengals. of course Henry was suspended and not eligible to play most of the year and just sat the bench for us...but still he was with us in spirit.

...and so it saddens me more than i am willing to admit in a non-sarcastic way to learn that Chris Henry is dead today after falling out the back of a pick-up truck. (what? that's not how i would've imagined a true thug to go out. but yeah, it's for real.)

the Cat Eyed Man can't be suspended by Roger Goodell any longer. RIP young man.

I Always Feel Like Hollywood Missed Out on an Awesome Buddy Cop Movie With These Two

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

100 Best Quotes From the Best Show of the Decade

A Lifetime Of Defeats' MAN-OF-THE-YEAR

Ron Swanson

Top 100 Albums of the Decade (2000-2009)

01. The Strokes- Is This It
02. Radiohead- Kid A
03. Spoon- Kill The Moonlight
04. Fugazi- The Argument
05. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Fever To Tell
06. Wilco- Yankee Foxtrot Hotel
07. The Walkmen- Bows & Arrows
08. White Stripes- White Blood Cells
09. Interpol- Turn On The Bright Lights
10. Outkast- Stankonia
11. Radiohead- In Rainbows
12. TV On The Radio- Young Liars EP
13. The Faint- Dance Macabre
14. The Strokes- Room On Fire
15. Ted Leo & Pharmacists- Hearts Of Oak
16. Jay Reatard- Blood Visions
17. PJ Harvey- Stories From The City Stories From the Sea
18. Deerhunter- Microcastle
19. White Stripes- Elephant
20. Q and Not U- No Kill No Beep Beep
21. Spoon- Girls Can Tell
22. Primal Scream- XTRMNTR
23. Black Lips- Let It Bloom
24. Broken Social Scene- You Forgot It In People
25. Hot Snakes- Suicide Invoice
26. Radio 4- Gotham!
27. Elliott Smith- Figure 8
28. ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead- Source Tags & Codes
29. Yo La Tengo- And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
30. M83- Saturdays = Youth
31. LCD Soundsystem- Sound Of Silver
32. The Unicorns- Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?
33. The Stills- Logic Will Break Your Heart
34. The Icarus Line- Penance Soiree
35. The Warlocks- Phoenix
36. The White Stripes- De Stijl
37. Jay Z- The Blue Print
38. The Shins- Chutes Too Narrow
39. Ted Leo & Pharmacists- The Tyranny Of Distance
40. The Rapture- Echoes
41. No Age- Nouns
42. Converge- Jane Doe
43. Comets On Fire- Blue Cathedral
45. The Fucking Champs- IV
46. Phoenix- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
47. Liar- They Threw Us All In A Trench and Stuck A Monument On Top
48. Shocking Pinks- Shocking Pinks
49. Black Mountain- Black Mountain
50. Lightning Bolt- Wonderful Rainbow
51. High On Fire- Surrounded By Thieves
52. The Ponys- Laced With Romance
53. Arcade Fire- Funeral
54. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Show Your Bones
55. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds- Abattoir Blues/ Lyre Of Orpheus
56. TV On The Radio- Return To Cookie Mountain
57. Pleasure Forever- Pleasure Forever
58. Sonic Youth- Sonic Nurse
59. The Horrors- Primary Colours
60. The Pains Of Being Pure at Heart- Pains Of Being Pure At Heart
61. The Walkmen- Everyone Who Pretended to Like Me Is Gone
62. The Libertines- Up The Bracket
63. The Lilys- Precollection
64. The Radio Dept.- Lesser Matters
65. The Shins- Oh, Inverted World
66. Whiskeytown- Pneumonia
67. The Exploding Hearts- Guitar Romantic
68. The Flaming Lips- Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
69. !!!- Louden Up
70. Kanye West- the College Dropout
71. Modest Mouse- Moon & Antarctica
72. Grinderman- Grinderman
73. Dead Meadow- Dead Meadow
74. Les Savy Fav- Go Forth
75. Dinosaur Jr.- Almost Ready
76. Albert Hammond Jr.- Yours To Keep
77. Spoon- Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
78. Danger Mouse- The Grey Album
79. The Reigning Sound- Time Bomb High School
80. Vampire Weekend- Vampire Weekend
81. The Drive By Truckers- Decoration Day
82. Crystal Stilts- Alright Of Night
83. The Hives- Veni Vidi Vicious
84. Daft Punk- Discovery
85. Spoon- Gimme Fiction
86. The Murder City Devils- In Name and Blood
87. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Howl
88. The Panthers- Things Are Strange
89. Dismemberment Plan- Change
90. Death From Above 1979- You're A Woman and I'm a Machine
91. The Kills- Midnight Boom
92. A Place To Bury Strangers- A Place to Bury Strangers
93. Devendra Banhart- Rejoicing In Hands
94. Pissed Jeans- Shallow
95. Blonde Redhead - Melody of Certain Damaged Lemons
96. Beck- Sea Change
97. Franz Ferdinand- Franz Ferdinand
98. Boris- Pink
99. Lil' Wayne- Tha Carter III
100. Out Hud- S.T.R.E.E.T.D.A.D.

Top 100 Movies of the Decade (2000-2009)

01. Children of Men
02. The Royal Tenenbaums
03. Lost In Translation
04. City Of God
05. The Dark Knight
06. No Country For Old Men
07. There Will Be Blood
08. 28 Days Later
09. Munich
10. Inglourious Basterds
11. You Can Count On Me
12. Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind
13. Kill Bill Vol. 1
14. I Heart Huckabees
15. Slumdog Millionaire
16. A History Of Violence
17. The Wrestler
18. Zodiac
19. The Departed
20. Brick
21. Lord Of The Rings
22. Amores Perros
23. Memento
24. High Fidelity
25. Let The Right One In
26. The Incredibles
27. 24 Hour Party People
28. Battle Royale
29. Dirty Pretty Things
30. Y Tu Mama Tambien
31. Control
32. Mulholland Drive
33. Marie Antoinette
34. The Proposition
35. Friday Night Lights
36. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
37. Black Hawk Down
38. Sex & Lucia
39. Milk
40. Thank You For Smoking
41. Grindhouse
42. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
43. 40 Year Old Virgin
44. Superbad
45. The Constant Gardener
46. Old Boy
47. Talk To Her
48. The Virgin Suicides
49. Traffic
50. X-Men 2
51. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
52. Collateral
53. Open Range
54. Good Night, and Good Luck
55. Before Night Falls
56. Amélie
57. The Lives Of Others
58. Brokeback Mountain
59. Wall E
60. Sunshine
61. Shaun Of the Dead
62. Old School
63. American Psycho
64. March of the Penguins
65. Almost Famous
66. A Simple Plan
67. Batman Begins
68. The Darjeeling Limited
69. Punch Drunk Love
70. Adventureland
71. Donnie Darko
72. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
73. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
74. About A Boy
75. Spirited Away
76. Eastern Promises
77. The Hangover
78. Sin City
79. Ghost Dog
80. Kill Bill Vol. 2
81. The Bourne Supremacy
82. Star Trek
83. Little Children
84. Half Nelson
85. Match Point
86. Into The Wild
87. The Squid and the Whale
88. Son Of Rambow
89. Catch Me If You Can
90. Iron Man
91. District 9
92. In The Mood For Love
93. Boiler Room
94. Sexy Beast
95. Syriana
96. Jarhead
97. In Bruges
98. Pineapple Express
99. Casino Royale
100. The Descent

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

random awesome

i feel your pain, David. click to enlarge for full humor factor.



QB, Vince Young (Texas)
RB, Reggie Bush (USC)
RB, Darren McFadden (Arkansas)
WR, Calvin Johnson (Georgia Tech)
WR, Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech)
WR, Larry Fitzgerald (Pitt)
TE, Heath Miller (Virginia)
OT, Joe Thomas (Wisconsin)
OG, Logan Mankins (Fresno State)
C , Greg Eslinger (Minnesotta)
OG, Steve Hutchinson (Michigan)
OL, Jake Long (Michigan)

K , Mike Nugent (Ohio State)
P , Dustin Colquitt (Tennessee)
KR/PR, Devin Hester (Miami)

DE, Julius Peppers, (UNC)
DT, Tommie Harris (Oklahoma)
DT, Glenn Dorsey (LSU)
DE, David Pollack (UGA)
LB, Derrick Johnson (Texas)
LB, Jonathan Vilma (Miami)
LB, Patrick Willis (Ole Miss)
LB, AJ Hawk (Ohio State)
DB, DeAngelo Hall (Virginia Tech)
DB, Mike Huff (Texas)
DB, Eric Berry (Tennessee)
DB, Ed Reed (Miami)


QB, Tim Tebow (Florida)
RB, Carnell Williams (Auburn)
RB, Darren McFadden (Arkansas)
FB, Peyton Hillis (Arkansas)
WR, Josh Reed (LSU)
WR, Percy Harvin (Florida)
WR, Sidney Rice (South Carolina)
TE, Leonard Pope (UGA)
OL, Marcus McNeil (Auburn)
OL, Andre Smith (Alabama)
OL, Michael Oher (Ole Miss)
OL, Shawn Andrews (Arkansas)
OL, Max Jean Giles (UGA)

DE, Quentin Groves (Auburn)
DT, Glenn Dorsey (LSU)
DT, Albert Haynesworth (Tennessee)
DE, David Pollack (UGA)
LB, Jared Mayo (Tennessee)
LB, Patrick Willis (Ole Miss)
LB, Brandon Spikes (Florida)
CB, Fred Smoot (Mississippi State)
CB, Carlos Rogers (Auburn)
S, Reggie Nelson (Florida)
S, Eric Berry (Tennessee)

K, Billy Bennett (UGA)
P, Dustin Colquitt (Tennesse)
KR/PR, Javier Arenas (Bama)

Best College Football Players Of the Decade

Top 10 Offensive Players of the Decade

1. Vince Young, Texas Longhorns QB

the 2 most dominating performances the Rose Bowl has ever seen, 2005 National Champ, Won the greatest game i ever saw, best player who never won a Heisman. threw for over 6000 yards and rushed for over 3100.

2. Reggie Bush, USC Trojans RB

2005 Heisman Trophy winner, 2 National Titles, Most electrifying college football player i've ever seen.

and of course this:

3. Tim Tebow, Florida Gators QB

1st Heisman winner Sophomore, best powerback/QB combo ever, broke every record the SEC had that was worth breaking, 2 national titles

4. Matt Leinart, USC Trojans QB

2004 Heisman Trophy winner, 2 time national champion, banged more chicks in college than you can even comprehend

5. Darren McFadden, Arkansas Razorbacks RB

the only 2 time Heisman trophy runner-up, 2 time All-American, started this whole Wild Cat craze, rushed for an SEC record 321 yards in a game vs South Carolina, the most awesome SEC runningback ever without the last name Walker or Jackson.

6. Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech WR

2 time Biletnikoff Award winner, 2 time All-American, most awesome game winning touchdown catch and run of the decade.

7. Calvin Johnson, Georgia Tech WR

best WR ever. no debate. just think if he didn't have Reggie Ball throwing to him for 3 years.

8. Adrian Peterson, Oklahoma Sooners RB

set the freshman rushing record with 1925 yards, finished 2nd in the Heisman is a true freshman, would've probably gone down as one of the all time greatest college RBs ever if not for injuries his sophomore and junior years.

9. Larry Fitzgerald, Pitt Panthers WR

2003 Biletnikoff Award, All American, 2003 Walter Camp Award Winner as a Sophomore, Heisman Trohpy Runner Up to Jason White's sorry ass. holds an NCAA record with at least one touchdown catch in 18 straight games.

10. Pat White, West Virginia Mountaineers QB

my favorite non-Auburn player of the decade...easily, won 4 bowl games, made West Virginia a household name, lead his team to huge upsets over UGA and Oklahoma in BCS bowls, best running QB of all time.


Joe Thomas, Wisconsin LT

most dominant offensive lineman i've ever watched play football. made people think Wisconsin was actually good.

Top 10 Defensive Players
1. Julius Pepper, North Carolina DE
2. Tommie Harris, Oklahoma DT
3. Ed Reed, Miami S
4. Glenn Dorsey, LSU DT
5. Eric Berry, Tennessee S
6. Patrick Willis, Ole Miss LB
7. DeAngelo Hall, Virginia Tech CB
8. Sean Taylor, Miami S
9. Jonathan Vilma, Miami LB
10. AJ Hawk, Ohio State LB

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


how come nobody told me about this?!?! goddamn you all to hell.

last night one of my alltime favorite bands of my youth, Jawbox, reunited and played their classic "Savory" on the Jimmy Fallon Show. it was the band's first performance in 12 years. i don't even wanna guess how many girls in high school got a mix tape from me with this fucking song on it.

You Hath Been Motivate-afied.

Bowl-O-Rama 2009/2010


1: Fresno State vs Wyoming- Fresno St
2:Central florida vs Rutgers- Rutgers
3: Southern Miss vs Middle Tennessee State- Southern Miss
4: Oregon State vs BYU- Oregon State
5: Utah vs California- Utah
6: Nevada vs SMU- Nevada
7: Marshall vs Ohio- Ohio
8: Pittsburgh vs North Carolina- Pitt
9: Boston College vs Southern California- USC
10: Kentucky vs Clemson- Clemson
11: Texas A&M vs Georgia- UGA
12: Miami vs Wisconsin- Miami
13: Bowling Green vs Idaho- Idaho
14: Arizona vs Nebraska- Nebraska
15: Houston vs Air Force- Houston
16: Oklahoma vs Stanford- Oklahoma
17:Navy vs Missouri- Mizzou
18: Minnesota vs Iowa State- Minnesota
19: Virginia Tech vs Tennessee- Va Tech
20: Northwestern vs Auburn- Auburn
21: West Virginia vs Florida State- West Virginia
22: Penn State vs LSU- LSU
23: Ohio State vs Oregon- Oregon
24: Florida vs Cincinnati- Florida
25: South Florida vs Northern Illinois- South Florida
26: South Carolina vs Connecticut- SCar
27: Oklahoma State vs Ole Miss- OK State
28: Arkansas vs East Carolina- Arkansas
29: Michigan State vs Texas Tech- Texas Tech
30: Boise State vs TCU- TCU
31: Iowa vs Georgia Tech- Ga Tech
32: Central Michigan vs Troy- Central Michigan
33: Texas vs Alabama- Alabama

other than the Title game, i rank the top 10 best bowl matchups

1. Florida vs. Cinci (Tebow's last call)
2. Oregon vs. OSU (can the Buckeyes actually win a bowl game?)
3. Boise vs. TCU (the pride of the non-BCS)
4. Penn State vs. LSU
5. Auburn vs. Northwestern (scoring orgy)
6. Va Tech vs. Tennessee
7. Oklahoma vs. Stanford
8. West Virginia vs. FSU (bye bye Bowden)
9. Ok State vs. Ole' Miss
10. Ga Tech vs. Iowa

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Your Heisman Trophy Is Made Of Bullshit

CJ Spiller, you hath been screwed by Heisman voters in favor of prestige QBs who don't deserve the invite. Tebow and McCoy have had great careers but neither of them deserves to be in New York ahead of CJ Spiller. i blame lazy Yankee sportwriters as always.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Tebow hating = lame

Glad to see everyone I know thought it was so fucking funny watching Tebow cry after the Gators got crushed yesterday.

Man I just hate kids who fucking care that much about anything and who dedicate themselves to being a good person. I'd hate to have someone like that on my team.

Guess he'll have to dry those tears with all his trophies and records and championships. But what do I expect from Georgia fans.

The irony of a shit-talking haterade drinking asshole like myself defending a kid like Tebow who has been rammed down our throats as some sort of example of the penacle of mankind when he's just really a fullback who can sorta chunk the ball forward isn't lost on me.

Friday, December 4, 2009

The Chiz Grounded Rollison

Way To Go, Tyrik. whatever the fuck you did. (gettin' in fights, bad grades, smokin' weed, gun running, whatever). i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume it's grades based on his grammatical prose via the ole' facebook. but for reals, this is why redshirting kids is bad, they get bored and into trouble. let's all hope this isn't then end for our QB savior to be...cuz if it is then we will be plenty fucked in 2011, if not 2010.

and coach, quit kicking everyone off the team, damnit. i respect your whole discipline thing blah blah blah, but QBs are supposed to get away with whatever they want. don't you think Les Miles wishes he still had Ryan Perrilloux?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Lifetime Of Defeats All-SEC Team


QB- Ryan Mallet, Arkansas
RB- Mark Ingram, Alabama
RB- Montario Hardesty, Tennessee
WR- Darvin Adams, Auburn
WR- AJ Green, Georgia
APB- Dexter McCluster, Ole Miss
TE- Aaron Hernandez, Florida
OT- Ciron Black, LSU
OT- Chris Scott, Tennessee
OG- Michael Johnson, Alabama
OG- Mike Pouncey, Florida
C- Ryan Pugh, Auburn
Wild Cat- Randall Cobb, Kentucky


DE- Antonio Coleman, Auburn
DT- Dan Williams, Tennessee
DT- Terrence Cody, Alabama
DE- Carlos Dunlap, Florida
LB- Rolando McClain, Alabama
LB- Josh Bynes, Auburn
LB- Brandon Spikes, Florida
LB- Eric Norwood, South Carolina
CB- Joe Haden, Florida
CB- Javier Arenas, Alabama
S- Eric Berry, Tennessee
S- Mark Barron, Alabama

K- Wes Byrum, Auburn
P- Drew Butler, Georgia
KR- Brandon James, Florida
PR- Javier Arenas, Alabama

MVP- Ryan Mallett, Arkansas
Defensive Player Of the Year- Mark Barron, Alabama
Freshman- Trent Richardson, Alabama

He's Coming

this Sunday, Mike Vick returns to the Dome. granted he's just the 3rd string QB for the Eagles and will probably be on the field 5 or 6 the most, and yet i am fucking dreading every second of this. i'm smart enough to know that shit could get really mean and really nasty in the Dome (and especially outside where supporters and protesters will surely have a few words with one another) i call for the fans of the Falcons, those who are against and those who support Mike Vick, to use some common sense on Sunday afternoon. let's all be as civil about this thing as possible. let's try to be as mature and calm as we can. let's not let a potentially ugly situation turn into something more than an ex-player who some people love and some people hate that some will cheer and some will boo. please. do it for the kids. be adults.

but if Mike Vick should take the field and be snapped in half by an on coming rusher...well that wouldn't be so bad either.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Let's Go Outback Tonight

Auburn to the Outback bowl!?! the next time i see Kevin Barnes in Athens i might just highfive him and scream War Eagle! into his face.

people (and by this i mean other angry SEC fans) will bitch about Auburn getting this bid, but it makes sense to me. A rabid fanbase desperate for a relevant bowl game and a logjam of 7-5 mediocrity in the SEC...i'd say Auburn fans should pack out that silly stadium with a pirate ship down in Tampa. Also having the 3rd best offense in the league probably didn't hurt either. Auburn is a lot more entertaining to watch than the Vols, Cocks, Dawgs, or Cats.

suck it Tennessee, South Carolina, Georgia, Kentucky, Arkansas.

Likely opponent in the Outback: Wisconsin (boring) or possibly Northwestern (could be a shoot out with them)

So yeah, a better bowl than we probably deserve and than any of us thought we'd get. But still a New Year's matchup in Orlando to show off the Spread Eagle 2 vs a Big 10 opponent.