Sunday, May 31, 2009

A Haiku For Lebron

I can't remember what the rules are for Haiku's my attempt at a few.

King James Reigns No More
Surrounded By Such Suckiness
What Chance Was There?

Nike and David Stern Cry
All Your Dreams Are Over Now
Fuck Those Puppets Anyways

MVP's and home court
Do not Mean Shit in Ohio
Cleveland Still Sucks

I do actually feel a little bad for Lebron. He's a totally amazing and likeable player even if he gets too many bullshit calls and his commercials suck. If I could ever allow myself to be a frontrunner then i'd pick him to root for. I would've rather seen Nuggets vs Cavs than the Lakers in the finals but I realized while watching this series how truly lousy the Cavs would be without Lebron. They don't have a single guy on that team other than James that id want the Hawks to pick up. Its an amazing feat and shows just how awesome Lebron is that those sorry ass turds could even have the league's best record. And as much as I hate listening to ESPN and the rest of the universe plug the Lebron to New York thing...after this series it seems pretty likely, I just hope James gives Atlanta a quick look before bolting for the NYC...(yeah its not happening, but he'd be a lot more likely to win with Joe Johnson, Horford, and Zaza than with that collection of scrubs in Cleveland or New York).

Party foul for James for not shaking Dwight's hand after the game. When you get your ass handed to you like that you've got to man up and shake some hands. Oh well.

Anyways, go Magic...beat the fucking Lakers.

Vacation Is Over!

Yo Internet, what's been going on and shit? It's been a week...did you miss me?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Have a good Memorial Day weekend readers. see you again on Tuesday.

to the men and women who keep us safe...thank you. Captain America appreciates what you do and so do smartass bloggers like myself. stay out of Harm's way. and if you do see Harm, just remember you can kick his ass.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Worst Uniforms In College Football (1-13)

first of all i limited this list to DIA teams or else Florida A&M, Delaware, Grambling State, and Rhode Island would all have a place on this list. for a more positive take on college football uniforms here's my top 25 best.

OK now let's start the list of shame.

1. University Of Oregon

naming Oregon #1 is too easy, too lazy, uninspired. it's like calling Nevermind the most important album of the duh. but it almost goes without saying when you discuss the WORST uniforms in all of sports (not just college football) that the Oregon Ducks are usually one of if not the first teams that people will mention. so much has been written about the Ducks Unis that it just seems like overkill to even bring them up. first off they don't have 1 singular home or road uniform and instead feature a cast of thousands of possibilities that would be maddening to me if i was a fan. they don't really wear football uniforms so much as they are merely a testing ground for every ridiculous design idea that anyone at Nike can come up with. "hey, do you think it would be cool if we had these little reflector looking things on the shoulders?" (pause) "Yeah that sound like a great idea. let's do it in 5 different colors and start production."

so many different ways to look little time.

and then of course there are the emo wings...

extra bonus suck points go to Oregon for changing their uniforms at halftime during the USC game (obviously Phil Knight made this call because he knew the Ducks would be on national tv) and then getting beaten by the Trojans.

2. South Florida

oh the Bulls. honestly i'm starting to think that they might be more deserving of the top spot than Oregon if only because they have just one uniform that they decided to go with and it is officially the ugliest thing possible. they look like they were designed by some methhead with a graphics design degree that he got online. it almost looks like they somehow got hold of some of Miami's old uniforms from the 60s and slapped a new logo on the helmet. truly awful awful shit from a state that has always turned out teams with ugly uniforms in all sports (with the lone exception being Florida State).

3. The Clemson Purple Attack

honestly it's not like their Orange unis are that much better, but when Clemson decides to go with that all purple look...well it sorta reminds me of Barney and Grimace's illegitimate lovechild.

4. California

oh Golden Bears...what have you done? not that your previous look was much better...but the Mustard jersey is just not a good look for anyone. and what's up with that stripe down the center of the helmet that isn't really a full strip and gives off the impression of a receding hairline? and then to top it off the little bear claw marks on the pants...yeah those are fucking lame.

5. Wyoming

it's bad enough when your team sucks at football...but then you also take the field looking like that. Brown tops with yellow bottoms and a white helmet. UGH. your the cowboys...just rip off Dallas. when i look at this the only thing i can think of is a rotten banana.

6. Oregon State

its a good thing you guys are good at upsetting USC because you sure as shit don't know how to pick a uniform. maybe it's the negative influence from your state rival. maybe it's the Nike affiliation. maybe it's just hard for a team nicknamed the Beavers not to look ridiculous. whenever i see you guys on TV i can only think of one thing...Halloween.

7. Iowa State

it's hard to imagine why Gene Chizik wouldn't have wanted to stick around when his team was taking the field in these babies. Iowa State's old uniforms were pretty fucking terrible...they had a cyclone on the helmet and a bird or something...i don't even know, was obvious that they needed to change it up, but going with these Southern Cal knockoffs didn't earn them any points with anyone.

8. East Carolina

a real pirate should not be wearing purple. ever. East Carolina's uniforms remind me of something that a highschool football team would wear. it's just so generic and awful and just looking at it makes me feel bad for their fans.

9. Tennessee

why The Vols decided push-pop orange was the way to go i will never understand. i know it has something to do with their uniforms looking weird on television when the networks first started broadcasting college football games in color and the neon made it look like regular orange on people's sets...but i'm pretty sure that problem has been fixed by now. and yet Tennessee still look like push-pops.

10. Boise State

as a college football fan there is nothing more damaging to your retinas than trying to watch a Boise State home game as the Broncos run wild on their blue turf nightmare. they sort of disappear and blend into the background and you start to feel like you are 16 years old again and you just dropped acid for the first time and you're trying to listen to Darkside Of The Moon in your bedroom because that's what you are supposed to do when you are 16 and taking acid, but your dad comes in and starts asking you questions about school and you get all freaked out and you just want him to go away and he keeps talking to you and then his face starts melting like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark and you are losing your shit.....huh...what's going on? why am i watching these weird little Smurfs play football? fuck it, i'm changing the channel.

11. West Virginia (the all Mustard mindfuck)

even a football god like Pat White couldn't make these atrocities look respectable. note to teams with any amount of yellow in their uniforms: NEVER GO WITH THE ALL MUSTARD JERSEY/PANT COMBO EVER FOR ANY REASON.

12. Virginia Tech

i mean the Hokies were fucked for life with that color combination...but then last season they decided to change it up and give us those weird orange sleeves that go down the side of their jersey. seriously do the people who work in the Nike design department have running bets with one another to see who can come up with the stupidest/ugliest fucking uniform possible and then try and see if the team they designed it for will actually wear it? this has to be going's the only way you can explain half of this shit.

13. The Entire MAC

i don't know if there is a football conference doing a better/worse job of sending out lousy college football uniforms than the fucking MAC. i mean seriously of the 13 teams in that league not one of them has a good looking uniform. they range from the bland (Temple, Ohio, Miami, Buffalo) to the truly ghastly (Toledo, Bowling Green, Kent State, Akron) and the closest thing to a uniform that isn't terrible would be Ball State and all it really looks like is a bad imitation of the Arizona Cardinals...and who wants that? the MAC is like if the Cleveland Browns and the Baltimore Ravens fucked and had a bunch of retarded looking crack babies who all started little football teams. things are bad enough for the people of the Rust Belt...they could at least get some halfway descent college football unis to look at.

if they played football in the former Soviet Bloc countries these would be the ugly things that i'd imagine their teams would wear.

Worst Uniforms In College Football (14-25)

14. Army Camo

there are so many things wrong with this that i can't even formulate my thoughts into words. it's like if GI Joe had a football team. our armed forces deserve better.

15. Georgia Tech

what is up with the Yellow Jackets and ugly unis? they seem to change their uniforms every single season and with each year they grow uglier and uglier. last season they decided on this butter colored disaster. you're the yellow jackets...keep it simple. go black jersey with yellow numbers and white pants with yellow and black stripes...then use the classic white helmet with the yellow GT.

16. The Black Out Jersey (Utah, Middle Tennessee State, UGA, etc...)

as an Auburn fan it should come as no surprise that i hate a motherfucking blackout jersey...but it's not just because i hated watching Georgia Soulja Boy all over Auburn's ass in them, i also think they make teams look like they are in highschool. it's a lame gimmick that's all about selling another jersey to the fans. alternate uniforms in general are something i could do without, the blackout jersey is just another part of that. even worse are the teams who don't even have black as a primary part of their team colors who decide a blackout is the way to go (Middle Tennessee State and Utah being the worst offenders).

17. San Jose State

for this entire decade the Spartans uniforms have been an ever evolving parade of suck. but really, what the hell are you gonna do with that color combination anyways? you know when you are watching a football movie with fake teams and they always have retarded looking uniforms that no team would ever really wear? yeah well that's San Jose State in a nutshell.

18. Northwestern

purple strikes again. monochromatic purple unis = teh suck. only pimp ass looking old black men on their way to church can or Chuck Bass can rock an all purple outfit...Northwestern football is neither of those things.

19. UAB

when i see UAB's uniforms the first thing that jumps into my mind is early 90s expansion team designs or the old World League. plus who can take that dragon seriously? not even the most ironic hipster in the world could rock a UAB t-shirt and feel good about themselves.

20. Texas Tech

i honestly feel like the Red Raiders uniforms tell the story of a program who is built to develop QBs for the Arena League or the CFL.

21. Tulsa

i can't really put my finger on exactly what i hate about Tulsa's uniforms...maybe it's that they are called the Golden Hurricanes and that hurricanes are neither golden nor do they take place in the state of Oklahoma. and that FONT...will you look at that fucking font! what is that?!

22. Syracuse (Orange Crush)

of the many crimes that Greg Robinson committed against the once proud Syracuse football program, the one that is probably most underrated and yet no less horrifying was allowing the Orangemen to take the field in these Day-Glo Abortions.

23. Hawaii

seriously there must be some rule that says if you're offense is based on throwing the ball 90% of the time then you have to wear mostly black uniforms. i liked Hawaii's uniforms better when they had big rainbows on the sides of their helmets.

24. San Diego State

i've run out of witty shit to say. these just fucking suck. plain and simple. these uniforms are ugly and they look stupid and just thrown together. again it's another team who makes me think High School team when i see them on TV.

25. Minnesota

for a team that's basically had the same uniform for decades you'd think they would have some classic icon design that they wouldn't even think of changing...and yet the Gophers take the field every year decked out in these things and they are totally ok with it. mediocrity reigns supreme. no wonder the Walshes moved to Beverly Hills.

Positive Vibes Friday: I Only Got One Law

the greatest line from one of the greatest teenage rebel movies of all time...Over The Edge.

Matt Dillon was such a little badass.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

THE SEC QB Situation...or Enter The World Of Suck

my scientific rankings of the QB situations in the SEC going into the 2009 Season.

1. Florida

obviously they've got Tebow so that means they are about 100,000 miles ahead of the next team.

2. Ole Miss

Jevan Snead is a solid college QB with some possible NFL 1st round ability. that about covers the sure things in the SEC this year.

3. Arkansas

Ryan Mallett was a 5 star QB who played a bit in Michigan's pro style offense his freshman season before deciding to get the hell out of town when RichRod and the Spread hit town. under Bobby Petrino Mallett could be scary. he's got the size and the arm strength to be a future 1st round pick. this is his first season in the SEC but his overall potential makes him worthy of the 3rd spot.

4. LSU

Jordan Jefferson looked pretty good at the end of the season. he's a good athlete and he's got some experience but Russel Sheppard is a five star talent that could totally steal his job away if Jefferson struggles this year. Jarrett Lee also still exists...which isn't really a good thing, unless you enjoy interceptions returned for touchdowns.

5. South Carolina

Stephen Garcia has thus far been a bit of a disappointment for the 'Cocks both on and off the field. he's the only 4 star talent the Ole' Ball Coach has had in Columbia and this is his 3rd year in the would have to think Garcia well make some major improvements this season, or maybe he'll get arrested 2 weeks before the season starts and get kicked off the team. on a side note, i really wish he'd grow the locks back.

6. Georgia

UGA's QB situation is kinda similar to Stafford's freshman season. Joe Cox is a senior who has some playing experience (it was he that lead the comeback win over Colorado as a freshman...not Matt Stafford) plus the Dawgs have an athletic backup in Logan Gray and a couple of 4 star freshmen backing him up. i have a feeling that if Georgia struggles early we might see as many as 3 different starters for the Bulldogs. during the Richt era UGA has always had a solid enough starter, it's hard to imagine one of the 4 QBs won't emerge as pretty good college QB.

7. Kentucky

Mike Hartline and Randall Cobb are both Sophomores and they both played last season. Hartline's the passer and Cobb is the athlete. neither guy blew anyone's doors off, but Cobb gives the Wildcats the best chance to win.

8. Auburn

Kodi Burns was the definition of inconsistent...actually he was more the definition of useless for most of the season with a few flashes of brilliance. this is most likely his last chance. Neil Caudle has never started a game and doesn't have much playing experience. Chris Todd only has 1 arm...and it's not the one he throws with. and then everyone else is a freshman. who fucking knows what is gonna happen, hopefully the running game can cover their asses enough that none of this will matter.

9. Alabama

Greg McElroy has very little playing experience and a mostly new offensive line in front of him...not to mention he's shackled with that NUMBER 12 JERSEY. luckily Bama has a solid running game and some guy named Julio Jones for McElroy to throw to...that should be good enough to cover for him.

10. Mississippi State

Tyson Lee is a senior who started last season for the Bulldogs, but he's not athletic enough for Dan Mullen to run his offense properly and Mississippi State lacks any play makers to help him out.

11. Vanderbilt

no team won more games in spite of their QBs than Vandy. Mackenzi Adams looked like Jay Cutler vs. Auburn but was pretty shitty against the rest of the league. they've got some other dude too who started playing at the end of the season but i totally forgot his name...and there's probably some freshman who'll show up out of nowhere and take a few random snaps for no apparent reason. jesus, Vandy would be better off just playing defense the whole game.

12. Tennessee

Jonathan Crompton was probably the worst QB in the league last year and he still has his starting job and the Vols failed to recruit a freshman they could develop this season and insert if the offense is a total disaster again this year. Kiffin better learn to work miracles if he thinks Crompton is his guy.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


The Magic beat the a playoff game...@ Cleveland...i am confused.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Doin' Thangs

i'm in Augusta, GA for the week...visiting the parents, hanging out with my brother, seeing old friends, maybe going to the lake, and sadly getting my eyes checked and probably fitted for a pair of glasses. 30 years of not being a four eyed nerd are about to go down the drain. anyways i'm not sure how much time i'm gonna have for pointless blog posts about shit nobody cares about...but today ain't gonna be one of them.

Monday, May 18, 2009

random Nerd humor

if you haven't seen Star Trek yet then you are missing out...although according to this you've probably already seen it anyways.

A Small Victory

hey ESPN did something right for a change. the prayers of Monday Night Football watchers have finally been answered as Tony Kornheiser has been fired/dropped/or he quit/whatever you wanna call it and replaced by John Gruden in the booth for next season. first off YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! to Kornheiser being gone. now MNFL will have 97% less stupid questions and Favre references. secondly, John Gruden? what up with that? is their a more unlikeable jackass former NFL coach currently without a job? i don't think so. and why would you want to hire a guy who is gonna be leaving as soon as an NFL or NCAA team comes calling for him?

my top 5 choices to replace Kornheiser would've been:

1. Dick Vermeil- he was really good in the booth the times he's been given a chance. he's a likable and knowledgeable he brings the added element of crying to the booth. think of the Emmys.

2. Dan Reeves- the MNFL is a little too Northeastern douchebag Yankee for it's own good. Reeves could bring some much needed Southern grit to the crew. plus he's awesome.

3. HAL9000- crisp logical analysis on par with Jaws. a nice monotone voice. and best of all, if he feels threatened that he may be losing his job he can eliminate the entire crew.

4. Lou Holtz- for the comedy and the pep talks. plus he can talk about how awesome it was to coach the Jets.

5. Charles Barkley- sure he does basketball for TNT and didn't play football, but think of how awesome it would be to listen to Chuck's stories and listen to him freakout about losing money on the game that he's calling.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

NBA Playoff Predictions

The Cavs will take out the Magic in 5 games.

The Nuggets will beat the Lakers in a 7 game thriller.

The Cavs over the Nuggets in 6. Lebron and Melo finally get to be the next Magic and Bird...minus the white dude part. David Stern is happy. So is Shaq. Kobe cries himself to sleep on mountains of gold.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Positive Vibes Friday: We Need A Montage, Baby

Auburn's down. Our Enemies are strong on all sides. Darkness has swept the land. It's Time For A Training Montage Motherfucker!!!

Oh yeah, and go see Star totally kicks ass even if you aren't a big fucking nerd. Like my brother said, "it's the best 'Star' anything in years." True dat.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


this was too obvious NOT to happen. apparently there's a secret world of underground Madden Gambling and shit can get violent.

this is what happens when kids get way to into THE WIRE.

please read and understand: YOU ARE NOT A GANGSTA. YOU ARE A NERD.

i should start my own underground NCAA Football 2009 League. you can't stop my Virtual Auburn Tigers where the Spread Eagle actually works and Kodi Burns owns Heismans (plural motherfucker).

Just Say No To Jo-Jo

Okay, I'm done with Jo-Jo Reyes. Dude is completely useless, can't win a fucking game, can't get anyone out, he can't give you more than 5 innings and taxes the bullpen, & is overall the worst Braves starting pitcher in years. Why he's taking up that 5th spot in the rotation when the Braves have 3 or 4 quality youngsters in Triple A is beyond me. It's time to trade him, I realize his value is next to nothing but i'd be willing to take a sack of Krystals and season 1 of Battle Star Galactica in exchange for never having to witness one of his pitching abortions again. Besides it's time to give that Tommy Hanson kid a shot, it would at the very least get some fans out to the park to see the Future of the franchise pitch. But really, why the fuck is Jo-Jo still getting chances? My only guess is that Bobby Cox is holding out hope that Tom Glavine is gonna be ready by the end of May...but to me Glavine isn't any kind of answer. Give one of the young guns a shot, Bobby. Quit living in the 90s.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

First Look: the 2009 Auburn Tigers

Jay G Tate has the (likely) 2009 Roster posted on his blog. there are a couple of errors as far as positions and what year the player is in go...but i was too lazy to make my own damn list so i'm not gonna complain about his. this list only includes scholarship players, sorry walk-ons...i know a few of you will be asked to contribute next season...especially on special teams.

anyways here's the roster.

QB Chris Todd, Sr.
QB Kodi Burns, Jr.
QB Neil Caudle, Jr.
QB Barrett Trotter, RFr.
QB Tyrik Rollison, Fr.
QB Clint Moseley, Fr.

RB Ben Tate, Sr.
RB Mario Fannin, Jr.
RB Eric Smith, Soph.
RB John Douglas, Soph.
RB Onterio McCalebb, Fr.
TB Brandon Jacobs, Fr.
TB Dontae Aycock, Fr.

RECEIVERS (17, possibly 19)
WR Montez Billings, Sr.
WR Tim Hawthorne, Sr.
TE Tommy Trott, Sr.
WR Terrell Zachery, Jr.
WR/DB Demond Washington, Jr.
TE Bailey Woods, Jr.
WR Derek Winter, Soph.
WR Darvin Adams, Soph.
WR Quindarius Carr, Soph.
WR Harry Adams, Soph.
WR Philip Pierre-Louis, RFr.
WR DeAngelo Benton, Fr.
WR Phillip Lutzenkirchen, Fr.
WR Emory Blake, Fr.
WR Travante Stallworth, Fr.
WR LaVoyd James, Fr. (probably headed to JUCO)
WR Anthony Gulley, Fr.
TE Brent Slusher
TE Gabe McKenzie

OL Andrew McCain, Sr.
OL Lee Ziemba, Jr.
OL Ryan Pugh, Jr.
OL Bart Eddins, Jr.
OL Darrell Roseman, Jr.
OL Mike Berry, Jr.
OL Byron (Lee) Isom, Jr.
OL Jared Cooper, Soph.
OL A.J. Greene, Soph.
OL Vance Smith, Soph.
OL Andre Harris, Fr.
OL John Sullen, Fr.

DL Antonio Coleman, Sr.
DL Jake Ricks, Sr.
DL Antoine Carter, Jr.
DL Michael Goggans, Jr.
DL Mike Blanc, Jr.
DL Zach Clayton, Jr.
DL Nick Fairley, Jr.
DL Jomarcus Savage, RFr.
DL Derrick Lykes, RFr.
DL Cam Henderson, RFr.
DL Terrance Coleman, Fr.
DL Nosa Eguae, Fr.
DL Jamar Travis, Fr.
DL Dee Ford, Fr.
DL Josh Jackson, Fr.
DL Andre Wadley

LB Craig Stevens, Jr.
LB Josh Bynes, Jr.
LB Eltoro Freeman, Soph.
LB Spencer Pybus, Soph.
LB Adam Herring, Soph.
LB Marcus Jemison, RFr. (switched from safety during spring)
LB Da'Shaun Barnes, RFr.
LB Jonathan Evans, Fr.
LB Harris Gaston, Fr.

DB Walt McFadden, Sr.
DB Aairon Savage, Sr.
DB Zac Etheridge, Jr.
DB Mike McNeil, Jr.
DB Taikwon Paige, Jr.
DB Neiko Thorpe, Soph.
DB Mike Slade, Soph.
DB D'Antoine Hood, Soph.
DB Drew Cole, Soph.
DB Christian Thompson, Soph.
DB T'Sharvan Bell, RFr.
DB Reggie Taylor, Fr. (probably headed to JUCO)
DB Izauea Lanier, Fr.
DB Daren Bates, Fr.

P Clinton Durst, Sr. (I expect him to get a scholarship)
K Wes Byrum, Jr.
P Ryan Shoemaker, Jr.
DS Dax Dellenbach, RFr.

OFFENSE: 42-44 (my guess is 43; McKenzie returns)
DEFENSE: 37-39 (my guess is 38; Wadley returns)


so from this list i'm gonna throw out my prediction for the opening game starters against LA Tech.


QB. Kodi Burns
RB. Ben Tate
HB. Mario Fannin
WR. Tim Hawthorne
WR. DeAngelo Benton
WR. Terrell Zachery
LT. Lee Ziemba
LG. Mike Berry
C. Ryan Pugh
RG. Byrom Isom
RT. Andrew McCain


DE. Anotonio Coleman
DT. Jake Ricks
DT. Mike Blanc
DE. Michael Goggans
LB. Eltoro Freeman
LB. Josh Bynes
LB. Craig Stevens
CB. Walter McFadden
SS. Zac Etheridge
FS. Mike McNeil (unless he's still injured)
CB. Neiko Thorpe

get LOST

I'm honor of tonight's LOST season finale I give you my top 20 people (or duos or groups) in sports that i'd like to strand on a desert island so we never had to hear about them again.

1. Roger Clemens
2. Chris Berman
3. A. Rod
4. Brett Favre
5. Manny
6. Poseur Redsox Fans
7. Drew Ro$enhau$ & $cott Bora$
8. Skip Bayles
9. Mike Wilbon
10. Joe Buck & Tim McCarver
11. Joe Morgan
12. Jim Delany
13. Ocho Cinco
14. Tony Kornheiser (while he's doing Monday Night Football)
15. Jay Mariotti
16. Herbiebot & Corso
17. Colin Cowherd
18. Mike Lupica & Mitch Albom
19. Stan Van Gundy for being a whiny choke artist.
20. T.O. not because I actually hate him, cuz I don't. I just never wanna see another ESPN story about him.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

When Tyrik Rollison Speaks On Facebook, for some reason i report

Tyrik + Facebook + My Blog = It's a slow offseason.

via facebook:

"Tyrik Rollison let everyone know...I'ma put Auburn on tha map!!!"

and here i was foolishly thinking that had already been done.

Peace Out Hawks

1st off a big hand to the 2008/2009 Atlanta Hawks for completely surprising me and becoming a totally respectable NBA team. They improved by 10 games, nabbed the 4th spot in the East, and then did something no Atlanta team has done in a while, win a playoff series and advance to the 2nd round. So Yay! Way to go Hawks.

But now for the reality check: Atlanta is pretty much at the peak for this current roster...and they're not guaranteed to keep their spot next season. The Bulls are coming up. The Heat will be better as Beasley gets better. The Celtics are old, but they will still be better than the Hawks next season. Obviously Orlando and Cleveland are going to be better. And then there's no doubt in my mind the Sixers could jump the Hawks as well as some young improving team like the Bobcats. Last season was crucial for the future of this franchise...but this one might make or break them.

First things first, the Hawks need to fire Mike Woodson. This team improved in spite of him, not because. Atlanta has no offense, they don't play solid defense on a consistent basis, Woodson doesn't make adjustments, and his players don't like him. Thanks for the memories but it's time for you to pack your bags and go. Atlanta is in the Eastern conference, they need a defensive minded headcoach. That's what the Cavs and Celtics are. The Magic play solid enough defense because of Dwight Howard. The Pistons were able to dominate in the East for years because of their D. If Atlanta ever wants to make it to the promised land they've got to become a team that shuts people down. Mike Woodson ain't the guy for that.

Secondly Atlanta needs to look at Josh Smith and realize that he's a talented young player with some upside who can be a fan favorite and a star and the best asset they've got and then trade his ass away for someone who can either shoot the lights out or rebound and play defense. I'd love for the Hawks to send him to Denver in exchange for Birdman and some cap space. Or for a guy who can come off the bench and light it up. J Smooth just isn't the player the Hawks need him to be. He's immature and selfish and not a leader and he whines too much and shoots to many fucking 3s and doesn't understand how to play power forward. And his teammates don't really like him. I really wish Josh Childress had stayed last season and Smith had left town. The Hawks need to get rid of him now while he's still got a lot of value on the market.

Third thing is that Atlanta needs a real point guard. Bibby was solid this year and I like the guy, but he's old and he's still a shoot first PG...and that's not what this team needs. We need a leader, a passer, and a lockdown defender at the point. I don't care who you get, if it's through the draft or free agency, but this has been the team's biggest need for years.

And finally the Hawks need to add another player who can help Joe Johnson out...or better yet a guy who can lead this team and Joe Johnson can help him out. It became painfully obvious in these playoffs that Joe just isn't a superstar who can lead his team far. He's a great #2 but he's just not a #1 franchise guy. Either Atlanta needs to add another solid #2 player that turns the Hawks into a two man team or they just need to go for broke and pay the best superstar available to come to town and make him the franchise. Either way Joe can.'t do it alone. Johnson, Williams, Horford, and Zaza are all nice pieces to build around but the Hawks are gonna need a major facelift if they want to make it to the next level.

don't take it personal guys. it's just strictly business.

Okay, enough Hawks talk for months. Seriously I've written more about this team over the last month than I have the previous 3 years. Back to football...