Friday, January 30, 2009

my uninformed Super Bowl prediction

The Buzzsaw crushes The Steelers on Sunday, 35-21. The Cardinals will shut down The Steelers' running game just like they did Atlanta's & they harass Big Ben and create turnovers just like they did vs. Carolina. On offense Fitzgerald will dominate Pittsburgh's weak cornerbacks and he'll snag somewhere around 10 balls for 140 yards and 3 touchdowns on the way to the MVP. Warner will thank Jesus and then retire and Leinart will retreat into the arms of a drunken college girl. Matt Cassel will eventually come to Arizona and take Matt's job away. The Buzzsaw will now join Tampa Bay as one of those teams that used to suck but now is pretty respectable. The Sun will explode and kill us all on May 14th 2027.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Things I Have Been Doing Now That College Football Is Over

well luckily it's the time of the year when all the Oscar nominees start showing in shitty little towns like Athens, Georgia (which despite being the only liberal stronghold in the Peach State...still doesn't get quality indie films with any regularity). saw Slumdog Millionaire last weekend, going to see The Wrestler this weekend, and also looking forward to The Reader as well (who doesn't love Kate Winslet's boobs?). i've also been going crazy with my Netlfix as well. last night i watched an awesome fucking documentary about the kidnapping epidemic and political corruption in Brazil called Manda Bala (Send A Bullet). if you liked the doc Cocaine Cowboys or were really into the movie City Of God then this is right up your alley. a word of advice, do not go to Sao Paolo, will be kidnapped, you will get your ear chopped off, this is how life goes.

here's the trailer.

full of black humor, great interviews, and a killer soundtrack of Brazilian folk, funk, & psych-rock. check it out.

other than that i'm playing way too much NCAA withdrawl is a bitch, son.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Much Respect To Omar Epps

i really don't think that Omar Epps has gotten enough credit for what he's been able to accomplish with the Pittsburgh Steelers. i mean this whole time he thought he has been filming the Program Part 2 but instead he's led the Steelers to the Super Bowl...and he still makes time for House! the guy works hard to say the least. i wonder if Cuba Gooding Jr will suit up for the Buzzsaw this weekend and do his best to one up Omar?

Fuckin' Awesome, Dude

Auburn got some news worth celebrating on the recruiting front as Tyrik Rollison officially commited to Auburn today. he threw for 4,729 yards and 51 touchdowns during his senior season. that just made my mind explode. like i said before he may not qualify and this could all blow up in our face in the end, but still landing the nation's number 2 dual threat QB is a big deal as it at least proves to me that this new staff has got some skills. plus he shaves shit into the side of his head, what's not to love? Auburn also landed 2 defensive line prospects yesterday, including a 4 star defensive tackle named Jamar Travis. these 3 new commits have moved Auburn back into Rivals top 25 rankings...which again, means jackshit as Auburn is almost always in the top 25 in recruiting, along with every other team in the SEC that matters (Auburn is 8th in the SEC in recruiting). now if we could just land some receiver prospects who can play right away then things might just get turned around a little quicker than anyone thinks.

so yeah, way to go Tigers. let's get our celebration on.

Monday, January 26, 2009

India Hates The Black Lips

i saw Slumdog Millionaire this weekend. it fucking rules and is worthy of all the awards and press it's getting. ironically at the same time i was seeing a movie about how shitty it is to grow up in the Mumbai slums, Atlanta's own Black Lips were in India getting their asses run out of the country!

they've come a long way from that time i booked them at the 40 Watt and they got banned for trying to set their drums on fire, but they're still a bunch of punkass kids who like to start trouble. i hope they made it out alive, as they are one of the only about 4 bands from the state of Georgia who are worth a shit.

No fire in the 40 Watt, motherfucker. and no getting naked and kissing dudes on stage in India, either.

So A Top QB Recruit Actually Wants To Play At Auburn? Awesome!

so the #2 rated dual threat QB in the nation, Tyrik Rollison, visited Auburn this weekend and apparently all signs are pointing towards him coming to school. if this is true then this is a huge get for the new coaching staff and may end up helping to salvage the recruiting class. the possibility exists that he may end up having to go to prep school for a year...which makes me think he'll just end up getting stolen away from us by Florida or Ole Miss next year and this good news will be all for not. but hey, i'm a pessimist. that's just how i roll. it's down to the Tigers and Kansas State for Rollison's services. i gotta believe that even the shitstorm of failure that is the Auburn Tigers Football Program is still better than playing at Kansas State. then again Rollinson is the kind of Michael Bishop and El Roberson qb that helped put the Cougars on the map back during Bill Snyder's first time in Manhattan.

Rollinson hasn't decided anything and this may end up being a signing day decision. keep your fingers crossed, kids. if he does join the Tigers he will trump Kodi Burns status as most stupidly spelled first name on the team.

the usual youtube highlights.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Why Couldn't We Just Take Chris Todd's Scholarship Away?

i didn't post about this yesterday because i was too busy dominating the recruiting trail for Dynasty Mode Auburn on NCAA 2009 in preparation for my run at another Fantasy Video Game World National Tile. how am i doing? we'll just say i've got nobody lower than a 4 star signed up and i've got the top 3 Runningbacks in the nation all coming to Auburn. so yeah, Video Game Auburn has no worries. they can easily tell walk-on punters to take a hike because i've got a 5 star defensive tackle i'm gonna stash on the bench for a few seasons before i unleash his 90+ rated ass on the SEC....but REAL AUBURN has no such luxuries...

....or at least that's what you'd think until the Chizik decided to tell Hero of 2008's Season Of Death, one Mr. Clinton Durst to get lost because there would be no scholarship for him this year (even though Tuberville had promised to award Durst with one). this is kind of like that part in Rudy when the new coach comes in and tells Rudy he won't be dressing for any games his Senior year...or however that part went, i forget because i hated that movie (not because it was about Notre Dame, but because Rudy sucked at football and still got to play in a college football game). but something tells me nobody is gonna step in and offer Durst their scholarship.

quick question. why can't Durst just have one of the scholarships that was being used by a player from the '08 class who left the team like Raven Gray, Deron Furr, Jermaine Johnson, etc....? i don't understand. please explain.

anyways i'm starting to veer off track and lose my focus. honestly this makes little to no sense whatsoever. Durst was the 3rd best punter in the SEC last year and without him the Tigers would not have beaten Mississippi State or Tennessee which means they'd have been winless in the SEC and i would have shot my face off. you could argue that Durst was actually Auburn's MVP last season...which is pretty fucking awesome for a kid who was a walk-on freshman soccer player that had never played a down of organized football in his entire life!!! but no, the Chizik doesn't need him. thanks for the effort last year kid, but we need to give one of those scholarships to 2 star defensive line prospect that'll probably never see the field and will transfer to Valdosta State in a couple of years anyways. fucking Auburn! it's like rooting for a one legged midgit in an ass kicking contest sometimes.

anyways good luck Durst. thank you for the two wins you gave us last year and for keeping us in a few of the other games that we coulda won. you are easily my favorite punter of all time...even if we just had 1 terrible year together.

a 3 internet salute for you, young man.


Positive Vibes Friday: French Nu-Electro Pop edition

there's no football this weekend (unless you count the Senior Bowl) and nothing much sportswise going on that i care to speak of. so instead i'm spending the better part of the day indulging in one of my guilty pleasures...Yelle. she's the perfect combination of many things that hold a soft spot in my heart...French girls, weirdo fashion, and electro pop that sounds like Tom Tom Club. be still my beating heart. my crush on Katy Perry (who was really just fake Zoe Deschanel) is now officially over.

this is the video for Yelle's newest single "ce jeu".

seriously i've watched this like 20 times today.

i think i'm in love.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

fuck you James Willis

Auburn has it's own Benedict Arnold now. James Willis is jumping ship to join Saban's Alabama staff. Sure I know, it's just business blah blah blah...and i'd agree with you if Willis was going to Florida, or Ole Miss, or even Georgia...but The Tide?!! Nah, that gets you a FUCK YOU 4 LIFE! And being an ex-player gets you the biggest go fuck yourself of all.

The Hate is back.

Isn't It A Little Early For This?

there isn't much to do right now while we all sit around and wait for the machines to turn against us

nope all there seems to do right now is speculate about College Football!

so already has their Pre-Spring Top 25 for next year's college football season. surprise! the Gators are number 1. and although i hate any kind of preseason Top 25 before recruiting is finished and teams have started Spring practice, i already have some major issues with their Top 25. i mean Va Tech & Oklahoma State in the top 10? ehhh...i guess picking the Hokies to win the ACC is no real stretch. if i was gonna trot out my own pointless WAY TO FUCKING EARLY TO EVEN BE REALISTIC ABOUT THIS TOP 25 it would probably look something like this....

1. Florida (way too easy)
2. Texas (most logical pick)
3. USC (too many Blue Chips all over the place)
4. Ohio State (fool me four times shame on the Universe)
5. Oklahoma (replace most of the offensive line and receivers)
6. LSU (too much talent to not be back in the hunt, for LSU's sake they better hope Jordan Jefferson doesn't like gambling with counterfeit money)
7. Florida State (this time they are back...for real)
8. Oregon (the best rushing team in the Pac 10 will challenge USC next year)
9. Ole Miss (is the SEC ready to get Nutted upon? everyone's gonna be high on the Rebels next that means they are probably gonna go 5-7)
10. Alabama
11. Georgia Tech
12. Boise State
13. North Carolina (the Tar Heels were a year early on their rebuilding season they'll have more talent in place and be ready to contend for the ACC)
14. Oklahoma State (somebody has to be 3rd best in the Big 12)
15. Georgia (even without Knowshon and Stafford there's just too much talent)
16. Virginia Tech (always getting yeah they'll win the ACC again)
17. TCU
18. Penn State
19. Nebraska
20. California
21. Oregon State
22. Miami
23. BYU
24. Cincinnati
25. Kansas

I'm Not Sure If I Wanna Read A Book Written By A Football Player That Doesn't Have Cocaine Use in It

so looks like Atlanta Falcons kicker Jason Elam has joined the ranks of Billy Shakespeare and that guy who wrote Ulysses with his first novel Monday Night Jihad, which is a Christian Thriller Novel (not to be confused with a knock off of a Tom Clancy thriller.) i'll gladly read this thing and review it if someone wants to steal me a copy from Barnes & Noble.

here's the description:
He thought his deadliest enemy knelt across the line of scrimmage. He was wrong! After a tour of duty in Afghanistan, Riley Covington is living his dream as a professional linebacker when he comes face to face with a radical terrorist group on his own home turf. Drawn into the nightmare around him, Riley returns to his former life as a member of a special ops team that crosses oceans in an attempt to stop the escalating attacks. But time is running out, and it soon becomes apparent that the terrorists are on the verge of achieving their goal--to strike at the very heart of America. This softcover edition also includes a teaser chapter of the next Riley Covington thriller.
Written by a member of the NFL; gives readers an insider look at the world of professional athletes and military intelligence. Examines the challenges of homeland security in large-venue events. Explores the tension between the desire for revenge and the constraints of the Christian faith, especially as it relates to Islam. Jason Elam has recently returned from Iraq, where he visited and supported the troops. You can read his journal at

honestly i have no words. i already read Boys Will Be Boys this year, i'm not sure if Elam's work is gonna stand up to that.

*apparently this is old news and he's already got a second book coming out. why am i always the last one to hear about these things?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Sometimes There's Nothing More Awesome Than A Dunk

so i'm sure everyone who watched Sportscenter today has already seen this, but HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!

the dunk looked like something out of the Matrix.

Dear Obama, when do we get our playoff?

i know you've been the President for less than 3 hours and you've got that whole economic meltdown and 2 wars and health care that you wanna tackle, but really...when do we get our College Football playoff? seriously you can accomplish nothing your first year in office and i'll still love you as long as you can get a playoff for College Football.

my plan involves 16 teams, just like in what used to be Division I-AA, the tournament would feature four rounds with teams seeded one through 16....every conference champion plus 5 at large teams. there would be no limit to only 2 teams from a conference. if their are 3 or 4 worthy teams from the SEC or Big 12 then they all get in based on their rankings in the BCS. the higher seeds host playoff games until we get down to a final two who will then face off on a neutral field.

this season the tournament would have been seeded something like this.
1. Oklahoma
16. Buffalo

2. Florida
15. Troy

3. Texas
14. ECU

4. USC
13. TCU

5. Alabama
12. Cincinnati

6. Utah
11. Ohio State

7. Texas Tech
10. Virginia Tech

8. Penn State
9. Boise State

what about the bowls? fuck em. most of the bowl games suck anyways. the Bowls can be the NIT for all the teams who don't make the 16 team tournament.

some people will try and argue that this takes away from the college football regular season. to those people i call bullshit. with only 2 spots up for grab in the current system most teams seasons are over before the season begins, for the rest it's over after 1 or 2 losses. with a 16 team playoff the MAC championship game becomes more than just a Thursday night distraction, when Ball State lost to Buffalo they'd really have something to lose more than an undefeated record. a team like Oregon who struggles at the beginning of the year but gets hot down the stretch can become a title contender. and most importantly of all no one who goes undefeated won't ever get a chance to prove their worth against the rest of the college football elite.

4 teams isn't enough. 8 teams still leaves too much room for schools like Boise State and Utah to get screwed over. it's 16 teams or it's nothing at all. if we shorten the season back to 11 games and start the season a week earlier then college football would be able to wrap up the entire regular season by Thanksgiving then have the conference championship games the next week. all conferences would be required to have a conference title game. then the next week the playoff would start. 16 games would be the most a team would ever be required to play.

some people would hate this format. Vegas would make a killing. the presidents would never go for it and the bowls would all suffer. but the truth is that noone could argue anymore about who the true National Champion was ever again...and in the end that's all i fucking care about anyways.

whatever. it's never gonna happen.

Is It Really Over?!

has it really been 8 years? i feel so old. so long douchebags. thanks for all the war and poverty and stuff.



Auburn's recruiting class is making me sad

hey remember that pretty solid recruiting class that Tuberville had put together? yeah, well no surprise but it's pretty much fallen to pieces and we are left fighting for scraps and trying to gloss over the fact that Ole Miss is sweeping in to steal all the truly talented players from the class. bye bye Ray Cotton, we hardly knew ye.

Auburn lost out on Cotton but it did land a new QB, even if it wasn't the one i was hoping for, but i guess 1 QB is better than no QBs...but seriously a 3 star QB from from 2A High School in Alabama doesn't inspire a lot of confidence that this kid is any more than answer than the previous slew of QBs. Clint Moseley was Mr. Alabama this year(the first 2A player in the state's history to win the award). he's got great stats (3,758 yards and 35 touchdowns with only five interceptions & 670 yards rushing and 15 touchdowns). he also lead his team to a 15-0 record and the state title...actually he's lead the team to 3 state titles all 3 years as a starter (and won 3 MVP awards too). he's also a kicker...which might actually be more valuable if Wes Byrum loses his ability to make extra points again. all of that stuff screams to me that he's a diamond in the rough and a born winner...but then again, when's the last time a QB from the state of Alabama was actually worth a shit?

Name Droppers Of The World Unite And Takeover

being into music isn't just an interest…it's a fucking full time job for some folks.

Music Snobbery is something that most people of a certain demographic will take part in from their late teens well into their early 30s. for most music snobs it was likely that during college they would spend some time working for the local college radio station or at a record store honing their craft...or maybe even starting a band to help out in the endless cycle of trying to be cool and get laid....or if they were really lucky and had some rich parents or a trust fund they might even put out a record or two on their own label..this is the Mortal Kombat finishing move of Music Snobbery. this is essentially what happens to people who didn't like sports or weren't good enough to make their highschool baseball team. and this goes on and on until they stop caring as much about music because they either:

a)have a kid and have less time to devote to finding out about cool music or

b) get burnt out on trying to one up their friends and retire from music snobbery content with the knowledge that they have excellent taste and can no longer learn anything of true value.

back in the olden days before the Internets it was a very difficult thing to be a music snob, you had to read magazine articles and books about underground rock n roll to hear about new bands or "important" older bands and then you had to devote lots of time and money into traveling to out of the way independent record stores or ordering things through the mail without ever hearing it first. this made for some interesting discoveries (the raincoats, the wipers, the vaselines...aka anything kurt cobain listed as a major influence) or it could result in some really crappy cds that you couldn't sell at the used cd shop (free kitten, gumball!). and back in these happy times it really meant something to be able to namedrop some bands on other music snobs to let them know you were in the know and not a total poseur.

then something terrible happened: THE INTERNET. and everything went to shit and it was as easy as clicking on your mouse and downloading a song by some obscure band from Scotland that only had 2 eps and you could suddenly claim you'd heard them way before anyone else or whatever. the effort was now totally gone. but even though it has become much much easier to know about cool music, it's still important to be into the right cool music…especially if you are a person younger than 23 who is talking about music to a person older than 29. there are certain bands that you must be aware of if you are to ever shed the label of young poseur. post punk as a genre is really a cottage industry for a good name dropper to verse themselves in. liking the Cure and The Smiths don't count.

the top 25 bands to name drop if you are worried people think you are a poseur

1. Sonic Youth (although very popular at one time, you must always list them as one of your favorite bands)
2. The Nation Of Ulysses
3. Nick Cave (Bad Seeds/Birthday Party)
4. Gang Of Four (it's important to understand that all dance punk bands are gang of four clones)
5. The Jesus And Mary Chain (it's important to call bands out for ripping off the JMC)
6. Modern Lovers
7. ESG (also good to play their songs at dance parties to impress certain people)
8. Pere Ubu/Rocket From The Tombs
9. Mission Of Burma
10. The Fall/Wire (UK punk bands that stayed around forever and everyone likes to list as an influence)
11. Joy Division/New Order/followed by as many obscure Factory Records bands as possible (A Certain Ratio's always good)
12. The Clean/The Bats/The Verlaines (any indie band from new zealand as this is the birth of indie pop and that's what the Shins are)
13. Can
14. James Chance/No Wave as a genre in general
15. Fugazi
16. This Heat/The Pop Group/unlistenable Freak Funk
17. The Gun Club/X/The Zeroes (other early LA punk bands as they are less popular than New York and London bands)
18. Suicide/New York Dolls/Television (70s new york city punk that isn't the Ramones or Blondie)
19. Swell Maps (important to note they influenced Pavement)
20. Captain Beefheart (although i don't know anyone who actually listens to them who isn't 40)
21. Pylon (unless you live in Athens...then it's not big deal)
22. The Sonics/the Monks (garage punk pioneers)
23. Neu!
24. Drive Like Jehu/Jesus Lizard/Big Black (thinking man's dude rock)
25. The Wipers/Raincoats/Vaselines (aka the Kurt Cobain obsessions)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Friday, January 16, 2009

looks like my weekend is starting off ok

Tampa Bay just fired John Gruden.

Hahahahahahahahahaha! As both a Falcons and Raiders fan this warms my heart.

Hey look Keyshawn is on ESPN talking shit.

I'm gettin' drunk 2 nite to celebrate.

New From Apple, The ITiger

so now that Auburn grad Tim Cook is running Apple i'm hoping he plans on funnelling some of that Ipod money into the Tigers' football program. seriously somebody has to free Auburn from the grasp of Bobby Lowder.

Young Men Gettin' Paid

so the deadline for early entry into the NFL has come and gone. some BCS title contenders are feeling the burn, probably none more vocally the Mr. Win Forever himself over losing his starting QB.

Carrol is taking some heat over this because he seems to be saying that Mark Sanchez if gonna fail. whatever, he's got 3 Blue-Chip QBs backing Sanchez up, the Trojans will be fine. they've got a bigger problem replacing almost their entire defense anyways. i'm sure Mitch Mustain or Aaron Corp will be fine.

the real winner of TEAM MOST FUCKED BY EARLY ENTRIES would be Athens, Georgia's very own Georgia Bulldogs...who lose their 2 best offensive weapons plus their best defensive back (luckily Reshad Jones opted to stay for another year or that very torchable secondary may have been completely in flames all year).

a close 2nd place in their contest might be UGA's divisional rival, South Carolina who will lose All-SEC tight end Jared Cook, safety Emmanuel Cook, and cornerback (and winner of greatest name ever) Captain Munnerlyn...luckily they're the South Carolina Gamecocks and they were gonna go 7-5 or 6-6 next season no matter who was playing anyways.

Bama loses their All-Universe tackle Andre Smith, but everyone knew that kid would be 3 and done from the moment he signed with the Tide. when you're considered the next Orlando Pace it's really just a waiting game. Alabama also says bye to their leading rusher Glenn Coffee but i don't anticipate that being a very big deal with Roy Upchurch, Mark Ingram, and incoming freshman Trent Richardson all in the mix. i think Coffee knew to get out while the getting was good so that he didn't end up like Ken Darby. Bama's biggest news was that Mount Cody was coming back for 1 more year, making sure that you still won't be able to run on the Tide next year.

LSU loses Ricky Jean-Francois and Brandon LaFell. neither of which i think are as good as they were always hyped to be. the Tigers will be fine.

Ole Miss totally dodged a bullet when Greg Hardy announced he would be returning to school. the Rebels could be a top 10 team next year if things break their way.

Vandy lost their only real star when DJ Moore decided to ride off into the sunset as the hero of VANDY4EVER's magical season and into the NFL.

everyone at Auburn expected Sen'Derrick Marks to leave school early from the beginning of this season and i think it was more important that Antonio Coleman decided to come back for his senior year than it will be losing Marks (especially now that former five star JC transfer Raven Gray is gone. a quick thought, when was the last time one of Auburn's 5 Star JC transfers actually ended up being worth a shit and sticking around? every one of these guys seems to disappear before ever doing a thing for the Tigers). Auburn's biggest loss will be cornerback Jerraud Powers. Powers was the teams' most solid defensive back the last 2 seasons and leaves the Tigers with some serious issues with depth at corner next year. hopefully Neiko Thorpe can become the star that a lot of people think he'll be.

and then of course Florida is still favored to win it all next year even if Harvin is leaving school...once The Tebow said "let's do it again next year!" things were pretty much set in stone. the fact that Brandon Spikes is coming back too is just an added bonus.

my early lean on the top 5 underclassmen who will be BUST-TASTIC for whatever team who drafts them.

1. Josh Freeman, QB Kansas State. sure he's 8 feet tall and 300 pounds and has a rocket for an arm, but what did that ever do for Kansas State. i am finding a hard team remembering a more overrated prospect who came into college football and accomplished less than nothing (besides beating Texas twice). to be honest the only memorable moment i can come away with from Freeman's college career would be this little nugget of joy...

yeah he looks really big and strong in that pocket while he's getting nailed by Quentin Groves, doesn't he?

2. Nate Davis, QB Ball State. did anyone actually watch the final two game implosion that Davis put on against Buffalo and Tulsa? and some people are saying this kid is gonna be a late 1st or 2nd round pick? really!?!?!

3. Shonn Green, RB Iowa. hmmmm....Big 10 runningback with questionable speed who you never even heard of before this season. yeah, i'd avoid this one at all costs.

4. Brian Hartline, WR Ohio State. white wide receivers from Ohio State = no thank you, i'll pass. seriously i'd think about drug testing Hartline because he's obviously smoking something if he thinks he'll be a 1st day pick in this year's draft.

5. PJ Hill, RB Wisconsin. hahaha, just kidding. noone will be dumb enough to draft his fat ass thereby saving him from BUST status. Hill, like Ron Dayne with less speed.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

life+work+no internet at the house=not much blogging/ also some way too early thoughts about the SEC in 09

Not that there's much to talk about right now anyways. Another Dawg is going pro, as Asher Allen throws his name into the draft. So UGA is losing their top 2 offensive players and their best defender (come back to reality...Curran is totally overrated) I'm thinking those 09 Bulldogs are still good enough for 2nd in the East but that might not mean much next year with the real battle going on out West between Bama, LSU, & the suddenly relevant Ole Miss Rebels. Don't sleep on the Vols either, their defense was solid...if Kiffin can even get a slight jump in production from the offense then Tennessee should be a 9 win team...I think. I'm sure the preseason mags will all try and sell us on THIS BEING THE YEAR for the Gamecocks...yeah how many years have you been selling me that, Phil Steele? It's never happening. I do think Arkansas will be the most improved team in the SEC while Kentucky & Vandy return to being bottom dwellers. As for my least there's still Mississippi State. But 2010 The Tiger Odyssey is gonna rule!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Youtube Highlights Of Auburn Recruits

with the season finally over now all of the college obsessives attention turns to recruiting.

5 Auburn Recruits Who Are Likely To Make An Impact Next Season

Onterio McCaleb- the number 1 prep-school running back in the nation who has already enrolled in school and will take part in Spring Practice. with the losses of Brad Lester and Tristan Davis it's safe to assume McCaleb is gonna be asked to carry the rock some next season. unfortunately there weren't any highlight mixes of McCaleb alone on youtube. instead all i found was this package of highlights by his highschool team. he's the one who keeps scoring all the touchdowns.

Eltoro Freeman- winner of the best name of 2009, Freeman is a JC transfer rated as a 5 star by Scout. with the losses of 3 senior linebackers and Trey Blackmon deciding not to stay in school and go play in the CLF, Freeman is going to have to step up and play a lot next season, he may even have to start. he's one of the those undersized quick linebackers the Tuberville always recruited.

Cameron Kennedy- Rivals lists him as a four star JC recruit. being that he plays wide receiver which is easily one of Auburn's biggest weaknesses, i can't imagine he's not gonna be asked to make plays next year.

Philip Lutzenkirchen- lists Lutzenkirchen as the best pass catching Tight End prospect in the country and #4 overall among TEs. he's got great size at 6 foot 4 and 245. and he looks like an amazing he pulled off one of the most awesome plays i have ever seen. just check it out.

Raymond Cotton- okay, so Cotton de-committed from Auburn following the firing of Tommy Tuberville, but the Tigers are trying to bring him back into the fold. with the QBs currently on scholarship this is a huge position of need for Auburn. hopefully Gus Malzahn's high powered spread offense can get the kid interested again. he's currently wavering between Ole Miss, Arkansas, Southern Miss, and Auburn.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Hey, Who Likes Shitty Basketball?

so someone told me that the Auburn Tigers play some other sport called Basketball? i've heard rumors of this but i thought it all ended back in the 1980s with Charles Barkley and Chuck Person, but apparently the school still carries on this pointless sport on a yearly basis. who knew? the Tigers will be making their yearly trip to the city of Athens, GA to face an equally as uninterested and pathetic basketball school known as the Georgia Bulldogs (HEY, That's the SEC tournament Champion Georgia Bulldogs El' Fucko!) on February 18th and depending what's on TV that night i might actually go out and watch the game with the other 200 people who have nothing better to do that evening. it's still over a month away, so that's plenty of time for me to come to my senses and decide not to go, but as of this moment i am leaning towards going to watching some shitty college basketball.

Random Football News

Tony Dungy has decided to hang it up and let someone else lead the Colts into first round playoff loses the next several years. good for him.

the comedic geniuses over at KSK have an amazing parody of those Howie Long truck commercials. i nearly pissed myself reading it.

just when you thought it was safe for your team to win the SEC, Tebow is coming back for more baby. Tebow in the Rose Bowl, oh shit!

but some kids decided it's time to make that money, a list of underclassmen who have already declared for the 2009 draft.

and in Auburn news, the Tigers have added former Auburn great Tracy Rocker to their coaching staff. The Chizik is killing it, bro. word to your mother.

play the Ice Cube...


i went to a wedding reception on Saturday night after watching the 1st half of the Arizona and Carolina game in a daze. someone came up to me and saw that i was on my phone checking the score the make sure it was for real. he'd been at the wedding all day and had no idea what was going on in the game. "Hey what's the score of the Panthers' Cardinals' game?" he asked me. "30 to 7" i replied. "oh man, poor Arizona. the Panthers are killing them." was his response. i just looked at him and shook my head, "nah dude. the motherfucking Buzzsaw is destroying them." to say he looked shocked was an understatement.

with the Falcons outta the playoffs and me having zero rooting interest for any of the teams left, i am officially jumping on the Buzzsaw Bandwagon. not for real. i mean i could care less if they make it to the Super Bowl or not, but this whole Arizona Cardinals kicking people's asses and ruling in the playoffs thing has me totally amused. like Vanderbilt Football, The LA Clippers, and the Kansas City Royals, Arizona is always gonna hold a soft spot in my heart and get some rooting interest from me. long suffering/apathetic fanbases all deserve a moment of matter how fleeting. it's just kind of mind blowing to watch these Cardinals rip the ass off the (hated) Carolina Panthers and feed it back to them. i guess it's a good time to be a Jesus Freak QB in football right now. Tebow and Warner, God favors you both over all others.

as for the other 3 teams in the playoffs, i have various degrees of hatred towards all of them. Baltimore is just the most fucking boring team this side of a Michigan/Ohio State football game, the Eagles are of the City of Philadelphia which puts them just one spot behind any Boston area teams for regional hatred, and then Pittsburgh is just a team that i'm sick of. granted i grew up outside Pittsburgh in Beaver Falls and loved the Steelers as a child, but that was a long time ago and my heart belongs to the Falcons now. besides nobody likes seeing their old girlfriend doing well for herself.

possible Super Bowl story lines that i am already sick of even though they haven't started yet....
1. The Eagles vs. Steelers in the all Pennsylvania Super Bowl.
2. if the Ravens get in the whole "is Joe Flacco the Greatest Rookie QB ever?" angle.
3. Arizona vs. Pittsburgh with the whole Ken Whisenhunt used to be the Steelers offensive coordinator and was passed up for the job and now he's facing his old team. blah blah blah.
4. Can Donovan McNabb win a Super Bowl? when Andy Reid benched him it really woke up a fire inside him. he's a warrior. blah blah blah blah
5. all the comparisons this year's Eagles team is getting to last year's Giants team.
6. Ravens vs. Eagles. Hey It's 2 6th seeds in a Super Bowl. that's never happened before. let's talk about it.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Another Fucking Reminder About My DJ Night


come to The GO BAR. get wasted. listen to me & dj Bloggins drop a thousand tons of hits on your motherfucking ass. dance like a fool. watch the girls drop it. get your lady to take part in the P Popping contest. then i'll play Black Flag and The Stooges and you can smash something. get kicked out. sneak back in. get more wasted. find a lady. get laid. it'll rule. nuff said.

Peace Out Tray Blackmon

so Tray Blackmon is leaving Auburn for the CFL (yeah?! i know.) i don't even have the desire or energy to write a eulogy for his Auburn career which most fans will call a missed opportunity by a very talented player. i however have some different thoughts. regardless he's to Canada for free health care and a pay check. wide receiver Chris Slaughter is also leaving the team. again, who cares? the JCCW has some more thoughtful things to say about losing Blackmon (but that's his thing. he does thoughtful and well written. i do dumb and angry).

honestly i really could care less. when i hear his name the word OVERRATED just lingers in my brain. good luck to you in Canada dude. i'm pretty sure you can smoke weed in the you've got that going for you.

It's All Over Now, Baby Blue

okay, first let's just get this outta the way...

YEEEEEAAAHAAAA!!!!! and shit. We Won! We Won! what did we win? I Don't Know!! We Won!! SEC SEC SEC SEC!!!! *does a Gator chomp even though he's an Auburn fan and hates the fucking Gators....then passes out*

I Heart You College Football.

so that's what, 5 titles in 11 seasons? 2 for Florida and LSU each plus the Vols and then you've also got Auburn's '04 season and last year's Georgia team with #2 rankings over that span as well. not a bad run, especially in a year when the conference was down and the Big 12 had taken our spot as the best league in the country.....uh yeah, how'd the Big 12 South do in their bowls again? 1-3. ok, nuff said about that subject.

secondly it's time to give Percy Harvin and Tim Tebow their giant props. they are the best duo in college football this decade this side of Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. Harvin was easily the championship game MVP, rushing for over a hundred yards on 1 leg and being his awesome ass little self. do i think he'll be good in the pros? i have no fucking clue, does it matter? nope. he's just awesome. and as far as Tebow goes....i mean if he NEVER plays another down of college football he's already the Greatest Player In SEC History. Yeah i fucking said it. sorry Bo, DMAC, Danny Wuerffel, and yeah even you Herschel. Tebow has won 2 national titles, a Heisman Trophy, and dominates like no QB can with his running and passing he's a fucking leader on and off the field and i'd trade away 5 years of my life for Auburn to have a guy like that behind center.

as far as the game itself last night...we didn't settle anything. the only thing we learned is that the BCS still sucks and that we need a fucking playoff, but we already knew yeah, we didn't learn shit. and so as much as i think the Gators deserve the BCS title i can not in good faith vote them number 1 in my poll that matters to absolutely noone but me and has no effect on the universe at large...but hey man, gotta have some fucking principles about something. and so i'm splitting it up.

Co-Champions baby!

USC and Florida are both number 1. but hey there's still time to settle this nonsense. Urban Meyer and Pete Carrol can stick their teams on a plane and fly both teams to Greenbay and play for the True National Tile on the ultimate of neutral fields...Lambeau Field (i mean seriously who the fuck would wanna be playing a game their right now other than the Packers). Win Forever vs. SEC Speed!! on the frozen tundra. it would be Beyond Thunderdome Awesome!!!!!

.....which is of course why it will never happen.

Utah can be the people's champion, for whatever that's worth. and Texas gets to be the champion of the most overrated conference in college football but as far as National Titles...sorry dude. no way, mostly because Mack Brown has been annoying the shit out of me the last 2 months.

on a random note, is there some way we can get an Oklahoma vs. Ohio State game next year so that at least one of their fanbases can celebrate a fucking bowl win? i think they deserve it.

don't you go crying for me, Argentina.

it's okay girl. cryin' makes the hurtin' stop. so let them tears out, the sun will come up tomorrow.

okay my final pointless poll of the season.

A Lifetime Of Defeats Top 25
1. USC
1. Florida
3. Utah
4. Texas
5. Oklahoma
6. Alabama
7. Oregon
8. TCU
9. Penn State
10. Boise State
11. Ole Miss
12. Georgia
13. Texas Tech
14. Virginia Tech
15. Florida State
16. Cincinnati
17. Ohio State
18. West Virginia
19. Oregon State
20. Iowa
21. LSU
22. Missouri
23. Georgia Tech
24. Tulsa
25. VANDERBILT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here's my PreSeason poll to show just how clueless i am...actually it's not that bad. i had the top 2 right. but Auburn, LSU, USF, West Virginia, Mizzou, Clemson, etc... all fucked me (as well as everyone else). Bama, Penn State, Utah, and Texas were also way better than i predicted. i was right about Ole Miss though. i knew they'd break out this year. (although in fairness i didn't rank them, but i talked about it constantly.) *pats self on back*

and now the long cold winter truly begins. bye bye College Football, i'll see you in the Spring.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Say It Ain't So! John Smoltz is about to become a member of the Red Sox.

and i'm about to use so much profanity that small children everywhere will cry.


seriously i'd rather him become a fucking Yankee. at least with the Yankees he's just another old overpaid guy past his prime taking up a roster spot and collecting a check. BUT THE REDSOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

i'm beyond depressed about this. John Smoltz is my favorite Brave of all time, even more than Dale Murphy. this crushes me. and to the REDSOX whom i loathe more than any organization in professional sports. well it's 100% official now. the Braves are fucking dead to me. they can't even resign players who have spent their ENTIRE careers with the club. yeah i know he's old...but Damn it! it's John Smoltz. Smoltz Heat can't pitch for Boston. i hate baseball.

This sucks. Fuck You Boston! i hope Tom Brady never plays again (not that you assholes really give a shit about football anyways). i hope Lebron destroys the Celtics in the playoffs. i hope the Yankees run away with the American League East next season and you douchebags are sitting at home.

Holy Recruiting Magic, Batman!

so looks like one of our new assistants is already earning his cash money with the quickness. new runningbacks coach Curtis Luper has convinced Rueben Randle (The #1 WR prospect and's #1 overall player) to come to Auburn for an official visit.

the usual Youtube mixtape of Randle being fucking awesome in highschool of course must be put on display for us all to gawk at. he played QB and WR in highschool. to say his skills are sick is of course an understatement.

i'm not gonna get too giddy about this because it seems like a long shot that Randle would really commit to the Tigers. but just getting a visit lets me know that Auburn's recruiting is about to get a lot more aggressive with this new regime change.

So Apparently There's Some Football Game On Tonight???

because i was REEEEAAALLLYYYY BORED last night and there’s nothing i watch on Wed (til LOST starts) i spent way too much time simulating this match up on NCAA 2009. the Results:

Florida won both matchups. the first time 38 to 10 and the second game 42 to 21. what does that say? probably that i should have spent that time doing something valuable with my time…like surfing the Internet for porn or cleaning up the guest room.

but in reality i think Florida has this one easy. Oklahoma has a great offense (one of the best of all time if you believe the stats) but they just don’t play much defense and i think if this bowl season has done anything it has exposed the Big 12. Best Conference in The Country my motherfucking ass. when Ole Miss whipped Texas Tech and Texas barely beat Ohio State it pretty much let me know the Gators have got this.

a quick question. who do you think is the better QB?




yeah i know...juvenile as usual. it's the internet bro. this is how i do.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Go Make That Money Young Men

Georgia's star backfield of Knowshon Moreno and Matt Stafford are set to announce their desiscions about their collective futures today at a 3pm press conference. conventional wisdom says they are both going to the NFL...but you never know. crazier shit has happened.

as an Auburn fan i wish them the best of luck in the NFL and am happy as hell to see them go. those two have owned Auburn and anything that knocks the Dawgs down a peg is good by me.

*update*: it's official they're gone.
WAR EAGLE to that. although i shouldn't gloat too much because it's all the more likely that next year's UGA squad will sneak up on everyone and win the SEC with less talent at QB and a strong running game behind Claeb King and Richard Samuels...kinda like the 05 Dogs who lost to Auburn and Florida but somehow won the conference.

as if you needed a reason to get drunk and shake it

hey Athens, this Friday Night @ The Go Bar come out for JR SUICIDE & DJ Frizzzly Rooster's first ever Crunk & Disorderly DJ Night. nothing but Southern Hip/Hop and classic 70s/80s punk rock. plus a $1 P-Popping contest. drop it low and pogo. Lil' Wayne and the Misfits. 2 great tastes that taste great together.

Ron Asheton died so i'll probably just play Fun House beginning to end...that should clear the dance floor pretty fast.


Jerraud Powers is going Pro

Auburn's best cornerback is going pro. we'll always have this bizarre little clip of you being bitten by a dog to remember you by.

so we lose Sen'Derrick Marks and Jerraud Powers and we keep Antonio Coleman. well at least we didn't lose all 3. good luck to Powers and Marks in the NFL. i hope you boys are rich as shit and with some luck Marks will end up a Falcon.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Coach Chizik needs to show this to his players every day

The Ultimate Motivational Video via Crews.

man if watching that doesn't pump you up then nothing will.

for some lousy news:
So much for me ever getting to see The Stooges reunited. Ron Asheton died today.

and yet Keith Rivers still lives. i'm sad.

Hot Babes and High School Football, what's not to love?

one of my favorite TV shows ever Friday Night Lights will return to NBC on Friday, January 16 at 9pm. ask me how excited i am?


it's really a toss up between Walker Texas Ranger, Tim Riggins, and Chuck Bass for what TV character i would most like to be. let's see being tough as nails and kicking ass vs. being rich as shit and slaying hot chicks vs. being drunk as hell while playing highschool football and slaying hot chicks. it's a win/win/win any way you cut it. sadly, these are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

it seems weird that i've never written about my love/obsession with FNL on this blog. i mean it's about football (kind of) and it has hot chicks. it really seems like a no brainer. i would have fully endorsed Coach Taylor for Auburn's Offensive Coordinator position other than the fact he's bailed on a college team before to go back and coach the Panthers...that and he's a fictional charcter.

also this is so brilliant i had to repost it via KSK.

Kudos to Ohio State for showing up for this one.

first things first, a big tall glass of "shut the hell up" for Mack Brown.

we all know Texas got screwed, but listening to you bitch about it is bringing back memories of Tuberville's 2005 season-long BCS whinefest (not the man's finest hour) that had even me starting to not give a shit that Auburn was left out of the title game in 04. maybe if Brown had spent less time shilling for votes and more time game planning then Texas might have blown out the Buckeyes and he'd have a leg to stand on. but when it takes you a last second miracle to beat a team that got slaughtered by USC (who then in turn slaughtered the other team that beat Ohio State)...well you are only making a case for the Trojans claim to a split title.

secondly a big bag of dicks to choke on for you, me, and everyone we know for saying the Buckeyes didn't have a chance and that Boise State was more deserving of this at large bid.

when Texas went up by 2 scores we all said "this shit is over" but Ohio State didn't lie down and die (probably because Texas ain't in the SEC) and made one of the best comebacks i've ever seen in a BCS bowl. hell they even pulled Todd Boeckman outta their ass to exploit that weak sister of a Texas pass defense. when The Buckeyes took the lead with a little more than 2 minutes left to play even i was rooting for them. but it was for not...

...because Colt McCoy, scourge of the varmint world, would not be denied his attempt to overthrow Vince Young as the KING OF TEXAS. that final touchdown pass to Cosby was a thing of beauty and capped off the best 2nd half of a football game we've seen all season.

good job Colt.

a quick question, who do you think will be the bigger future NFL bust, McCoy or James Laurinaitis aka the Teddy Bruschi of college football (meaning overrated linebacker and king of jumping on the pile for gang tackles)? actually when i think about it long and hard Laurinaitis is the PERFECT man to replace Brushci as the Pats slowish white middle linebacker that ESPN sucks off. Make this happen New England. the Internet commands it.

in summation this bowl season has taught me a valuable lesson...the Big 12 is OVERRATED as hell. Okie State and Texas Tech both got exposed, Mizzou took a miracle to beat Northwestern, and nobody cares about the rest of the teams in that conference. hell the Pac 10 and Big 10 (ok i am lying about this one) have done way more to impress me than the No Defense 12. Florida should run Oklahoma off the damn field.

Monday, January 5, 2009


THE BEST OF 2008!!!!

1. Heath Ledger In The Dark Knight

2. Obama!!!!

3. FALCONS MAKING THE PLAYOFFS (2009 didn't start off so hot)
4. Michael Crabtree's catch

5. Sasha Grey
6. The awesomeness that is Chuck Bass.
7. Slim Charles taking care of Cheese.

8. My G1!
9. The Giants beating the Patriots in the Superbowl. 18-1 sucka.
10. Blake Lively

12. Usain Bolt

13. "A Milli" by Lil Wayne

14. My Bloody Valentine reunion
15. The Hawks manning up at home vs. the Celtics in the playoffs. The NBA lives!!! in the ATL.
16. Pineapple Express
17. coming to terms with my love of Vampire Weekend
18. Swimbot 5000 dominating the Olympics and making us all feel good about being Ameircans for about 2 weeks.
19. No Age "Nouns"
20. Chris Berman's leaked rants

21. Kitty Lea

22. Robert Downey Jr.
23. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
24. The fact that Friday Night Lights is coming back for 1 more season at least.
25. M83 "Graveyard Girl"

26. LOST
27. Dwight Howard Supermanning Dat Hoe

28. being sooooooooooo wrong about Matt Ryan
29. Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist
30. Vanderbilt football

Worst of 2008
Auburn Football
losing my job (fucking economy)
Turning 30
My Fantasy Football Team

Some final LOL-ish thoughts about the Sugar Bowl

little did Coach Vader know the game was being played on Endor...

later that night John Parker Wilson's helmet was used for a drum after the Utes feasted upon his entrails.

yeah i know...36-0. but you gotta take some enjoyment somewhere.


i may have been insanely pissed about Auburn hiring Gene Chizik but so far he's put together a pretty fucking awesome offensive staff. first with the Malzahn hire and then landing a great running back coach in Curtis Luper from Oklahoma State (who was lead the Big 12 in rushing the past 3 years), and now Trooper Taylor joins the team. he's a hell of a recruiter and a great receivers coach which is something we've needed these past few seasons more than anything. hopefully he can school Billings, Hawthorne, and Slaughter on the fine art of catching the football and make those 4 stars that came attached to all their names worth it. War Eagle indeed.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Auburn Dynasty Mode, BCS TITLE GAME

it was a long season full of many spectacular beat downs but my Tigers have finally made it to the BCS title game, undefeated and ranked #1 in all the land. they face an undefeated and equally as impressive USC squad that features 2 1000 yard rushers and the top passer in the Pac 10, Mark Sanchez. But you know what? That don't mean shit to me cuz I killed those douchebags 38-0 and won the national championships. That's how my virtual Tigers roll.

This one was over before it even started. Mario Fannin took the opening kickoff 88 yards for a touchdown. But this game really belonged to my Qb Kodi Burns who threw for 300 yards and 3 tds while rushing for 99 yards and 2 more scores. Rod Smith hauled in 6 catches for 121 yards and 2 tds and my defensive MVP, Antonio Coleman got 3 sacks giving him an NCAA record 29 sacks on the season.

So I send Virtual Tuberville out a champion. 14-0 on the back of a dominant defense and an explosive spread offense. God, why can't reality be this sweet?

but hey real life Auburn has Spread Eagle 2 to look forward to...and Antonio Coleman is coming back!!! which is aweseome.